Horror and Zombie film reviews | Movie reviews | Horror Videogame reviews

Siege of the Dead - Zombie Film Review

2012-02-01T13:50:00.000-08:00

I have had Siege of the Dead for some time now. It is a German film, the first German zombie film I have seen (sure Dead Snow had Nazi's but the film was Scandinavian). Why do so many cheaply made zombie films have near identical covers of a zombie infected City?

Michael has recently broken up with his Gabi; his girlfriend of 7 years. Using the excuse of returning her apartment keys he has travelled to Berlin where she lives in the hope of getting back with her. Upon turning up at her flat in a small apartment complex things soon take a turn for the worse. After being attacked by a crazed plumber Michael and the plumbers apprentice; teenage Harper barricade themselves in Gabi's apartment. Hearing shouts and screams outside they look out into the courtyard to see a bunch of insane people chasing down and killing a couple. News reports reveal that Michael has unknowingly stumbled into a City wide outbreak of violence caused by some sort of virus that turns its victims mad with rage. Now under siege with the other inhabitants of the flats he has to find a way to survive the siege and hopefully locate his missing ex.

The main character of Michael is a very normal guy. In his late 30's, balding, slightly overweight and with bad teeth he is hardly the hero you would expect and he doesn't act like one. He is obsessed with finding his ex and a lot of his problems stem from this obsession. Zombie apocalypse is bad enough but being stranded in your exes flat makes matters far worse. Everywhere Michael looks he sees reminders of Gabi; photos, pictures on a camera, her clothes. Surrounded by memories and with no idea if she is safe or not it is a Hell far more personal to him than any zombie apocalypse could cause.

All the characters of the film are entirely normal and this is what makes it work. The characters really reminded me of the ones in Run Lola Run, all totally normal looking and acting. The real hero of the piece is Harper (Theo Trebs) he is actually proactive where all the adults are too wrapped up in their own small problems to do anything useful. It is Harper who finds a way to battle the zombies (though not dead they are very zombie like, responding to noise, and biting their victims).

The film is bleak in a realistic way, but has a vein of dark humour such as the obsessive Michael who is very protective of Gabi's belongings to the point of stopping Harper making weapons from her cutlery ('she will go mad if she comes back and finds out what you have done to her forks!') and the ever changing rooms the two have to retreat to as their defences get destroyed by the zombies.

The main score of the film is really good, bleak, modern and emotionless it sets the tone for the whole film, normal people, in an urban environment. At just over an hour long the film is short but feels a good length, it never drags and never feels like it is being rushed leading up to a quiet ending that resolves Michael's storyline satisfyingly.

Zombie effects are not over the top, mainly zombies are recognised by the foam frothing out their mouths, and white contact lenses, there is a good amount of the infected as well, virtually no violence but it works. Though in German the acting is very good, no over the top performances gives the film a realistic vibe.

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Acid Head: The Buzzard Nuts County Slaughter- Horror Film Preview

2012-01-31T09:52:00.000-08:00

Acid Head: The Buzzard Nuts County Slaughter is certainly a mouthful, but with director Tony Watts previous works Vixen Highway 2006 and Frankenpimp it seems weird titles are the order of the day.

The film seems to be a slasher that stars Vivita as an acid scarred goth girl slasher who butchers her way across Buzzard Nuts County then vanishes. A year later she is back for more vengeful killing. The film looks to have no budget, terrible special effects, bad acting but this all seems very intentional and it does not take itself at all seriously.

Watching the trailer I can only guess that the writers were on acid themselves. Very trippy and b-movie like it introduces Acid Head herself. Characters are all over the top and wearing very bad fake wigs. An interesting looking film, it just stands to see if it can carve a place with its bonkers style or if there is just too much of the stuff over actual substance.

Acid Head: The Buzzard Nuts County Slaughter is due for release on VOD and DVD Spring 2012.

Amy - Zombie Videogame Preview (XBLA)

2012-01-30T10:40:00.000-08:00

I just played the demo for downloadable survival horror game Amy. It has gotten terrible reviews but I was pleased to find it plays and feels like a last generation survival horror game; you know back when they actually featured survival and horror rather than the shooter fests they have turned into nowadays.

The demo starts with a woman named Lana (your character) on a train with a young gifted mute girl called Amy, you are heading towards a City when there is an explosion and your train crashes into the station. Awakening some time later you discover Amy is missing and that the train and the station are in ruins, there are strange zombie like monsters everywhere also. Encountering another human; creepy taxi driver Marcello you do some puzzles (old school!) to turn off power to an electrified gate. Locating Amy you look for an exit to the train station.

Combat and movement is slow and clunky, while puzzles involve flipping switches and solving simple visual puzzles. Amy can be instructed to help you such as directing her to climb through narrow gaps and press buttons for you. I am worried that the game is going to be one long bout of baby sitting, but in the demo at least enemies did not attack Amy though due to her slowness she did get trapped along with a bunch of creatures on the wrong side of a gate. I thought it was a glitch at first as Marcello kept referring to her despite her being a couple of hundred metres away but no, she is just damn slow at running.

The game looks, feels and sounds like an old school horror, with cheesy dialogue, bad acting and the normal protagonist who has the misfortune of wearing a pair of high heeled shoes, hardly ideal for escaping the infected. At 800 microsoft points it is not a bad price either.

The Walking Dead Season 1 - Zombie TV show Review

2012-01-29T09:06:00.000-08:00

Finally got around to watching the last 2 episodes of The Walking Dead. Everyone and I mean everyone raved about this show. A long time ago I saw half the first episode, thought it totally sucked and shelved the series. Picking it up on DVD I was happily surprised to see the show improves dramatically after the first episode, heck even the last third of the first episode was ace.

The Walking Dead starts with Deputy Rick Grimes being wounded while pursuing a criminal. He wakes up an indeterminate time later in a deserted Hospital. Wandering the empty hall ways he comes across signs of struggle, and hundreds of body bags. Heading out into the Town he soon finds out that while he was laying in a coma zombie apocalypse happened. Determined to find his wife and child he heads towards Atlanta where he heard that survivors had escaped to. That is all misinformation though and after a dramatic rescue he hooks up with a group of random people hiding out in the woods on the outskirts of Atlanta including by lucky coincidence his wife and child.

Season 1 comprises six action packed episodes. Based on the comic book of the same name I expected there would be no surprises but the series soon goes off on a different tangent to that of the comic. Each episode feels self contained though feeds into the greater plot, all end on cliff hangers except rather disappointingly the last episode of the season which I had thought would make most sense to have a cliff hanger ending.

The comic was known for dweling on the interactions between the humans with the zombies taking a back seat. The same happens here to a degree, though due to the quality of a lot of the acting of the main characters it is actually interesting whereas the dialogue in the comic books sometimes got really boring. A fantastic thing about this series is that all the characters look like their comic counterparts and feel like the characters from that really brought to life. Andrew Lincoln is superb as Rick, while his best friend Shane Walsh (played by Jon Bernthal) is a great character, with his descent into evil very slowly and subtlety hinted at. A lot of the secondary characters are interchangeable, especially the female characters for some reason. Other highlights include Norman Reedus as the redneck Daryl Dixon, and a late entry of Noah Emmerich whose role as a main character in episode 6 steals the show for that episode.

I was worried that there wouldn't be much plot over surviving the apocalypse but there is a general outline for each episode, whether it be heading to a City to retrieve some dropped equipment, searching for somewhere safe to stay or formulating a plan to escape a siege situation. The last episode in particular was a real highlight going off on a complete tangent from the comic but being awesome with some cool twists setting up plot points for later seasons.

CGI is used lots and lots to simulate zombie deaths and while it is kinda obvious at times it still leads to some cool action. The zombies all look ace, and are of the Romero slow shambling type, and a great score by Bear McCreary with excellent direction and no scrimping on set design. I am really looking forward to the continuing adventures of this band of survivors. Get past the first very generic half of episode 1 and immerse yourself in quality zombie entertainment.

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Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine - Sci-fi videogame review (X-Box 360)

2012-01-28T13:04:00.000-08:00

I realise I have been focusing on games a lot recently, I sometimes feel I neglect films. I do aim to get my Unlimited Cinema card back soon so I guess I will be seeing more films when that happens. Warhammer 40,000 Space Marine is a 3rd person shooter set in the Warhammer 40,000 universe.

I don't know much about the Warhammer 40,000 universe other than it is a universe in a constant state of war. Space Marine takes place on a forge planet (a world entirely devoted to weapons manufacture I think) that has been invaded by a horde of Orks. Sent in ahead of the rescue fleet are a trio of Space Marines (basically human tanks). You play as one of the Space Marines; Ultramarine Captain Titus. Starting off with the goal of repelling the Ork invasion events take a more sinister turn when *spoiler* the forces of Chaos arrive.

The game is bare bones action, the most you have to use your brain is pressing elevator switches. Being a Space Marine you are not able to go into cover, your supposed to be super human and the game makes you feel that way. You have access to both melee weapons (chainsaw swords and power axes) as well as a variety of guns such as a bolt gun, flamer, and several sniper rifle type weapons. The Orks swarm you and while weak on their own try and beat you with numbers. Being very powerful Orks get ripped apart left, right and centre as you cut a bloody swath though them. For a 15 rated game it is very gory, at least when it comes to the green skins. Heads pop, limbs are severed and enemies literally pop in a ball of crimson gore.

To split up the fighting there are several sections of alternate fighting. In these sections you have access to a jet pack which lets you briefly take to the skies before doing devastating ground pounds. There are also a few brief turret sections but other than that it is a case of slicing up close enemies while shooting far away ones. Stunning an enemy lets you do an instant kill on them which rewards you with a health boost at the risk of damage from other nearby enemies. The emergence of Chaos two thirds in gives you fights against more bullet intensive enemies. Boss fights are infrequent and not very good, the last boss was a nightmare and nearly ruined the whole game for me.

The game looks good but it is a shame that the location of the Forge Planet is so boring and bland. It is supposed to be, but still drags with its lifelessness and ruins. One brief level set in a desert brings a nice slab of variety, as well as a fun train section but other than that it is stupidly large concrete structures all the way.

The plot is straight faced nonsense but features some action packed cutscenes. Hidden in the levels are audio recordings from various people. It does give some more human feeling to the story of alien invasion but none of the audio recordings are particularly interesting, I certainly never felt compelled to seek them all out.

A fun game but more variety in the locations and activities you get up to would have been better. Still fulfils the blood lust urge we all get once in a while and is entertaining mindless fun.

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Deadlight - Zombie Videogame Trailer (XBLA)

2012-01-27T09:09:00.000-08:00

I had never heard of this game until about 1 minute ago, I was watching the downloaded trailers I had stored on my X-Box 360.

The trailer is all CGI and features a weather beaten man standing on a freeway sign while zombies shuffle around beneath him. The sign starts to give way so the man leaps off it in slow motion. Now using my famed investigative skills I have some more information the sparse trailer does not convey...

The game sounds interesting. It is set in America in 1986 with the whole population having turned into zombie type creatures called shadows. One person didn't change and that is the player. It is described by creative director Raul Rubio as a horror puzzle platformer that has heavy use of physics.

Deadlight is due out this summer on X-Box Live Arcade. Below is the trailer, the version I saw had no voice over and so had more atmosphere than the dodgy gravelly voice provides.

Breaking News Resident Evil 6 Revealed

2012-01-20T14:15:00.000-08:00

Ok, so not exactly breaking news as it was announced a day or so ago but if your looking to me for real breaking news then there's something wrong with you!

So Resident Evil 6 has been announced. Set in the Town of Tall Oaks another Raccoon Incident has happened with the whole Town being over run by the zombie plague. Firstly the good news.

The game looks amazing, really gritty, and violent and best of all zombies return! I liked the Ganando of Resident Evil 4 but by 5 I was yearning for the traditional zombies again and they are here by the bucket load! The game seems to be set at night which is again a welcome return to form I must say. Returning are Leon Kennedy (seen in the trailer killing a zombiefied President), Chris Redfield (still with arms the size of tree trunks), as well as the Presidents daughter Ashley Graham, and Leon's aide.

Onto the badness, the game again seems inclined to partner people up making me worry that the same terrible problems that plagued Resident Evil 5 (utterly incompetent A.I, and boss battles designed for 2 players) will rear their ugly heads again here. There is a reason I have only ever played Resident Evil 5 once, and that I have not even played some of the DLC due to the nightmare the computer controlled companion is.

Still all in all exciting news. See the trailer...

Halo Reach - Sci-fi Videogame Review (X-Box 360)

2012-01-19T06:28:00.000-08:00

I have to start off by saying that in general when I review games I only review them based on their single player content. This is due to having no one to play online with (and I am not about to play with strangers). So bearing that in mind here is my review of the single player campaign of Halo Reach.

Being the last Halo game to be created by Bungie (the team who created the Halo Universe) I expected Reach to be an epic send off and the premise certainly makes it seem that way. Set before the other Halo games this one chronicles the fall of Reach; the home world of the Spartans (basically genetically engineered super soldiers). From the very off you know there is not going to be a happy ending because a) in the Halo lore Reach and all the Spartans where destroyed and b) the game starts with a shot of a wasteland with your cracked and battered Spartan helmet laying on the ground. You play as Noble 6; a recent addition to Nobel team that is composed of 6 different Spartans. Starting with the discovery of a Covenant attack on Reach (Covenant being an alien collective army) it chronicles the invasion leading all the way to the final escape of Planet Reach by the surviving humans.

I was disappointed upon first playing to find it plays like all the other Halos. I don't know what I was expecting so I should not have been put off but I have never been a huge fan of how Halo plays. After getting over this I fell into the pattern. Once in the groove Halo does become meat headed fun. The plot is nonsense and doesn't really make much sense as always. more a way to take you from one set piece to another. With the rocky music that gets your blood pumping along with the sheer joy of wading into a battle and emerging victorious you really start to feel like a bad ass. For a good third of the game I had this feeling, excited to get onto the next vast mission. One mission in particular was great just for the change in pace; you start off in a City under attack armed with just a pistol, when you finally meet up with other humans they are really glad to see a Spartan making you feel quite empowered.

Combat is the same as ever, taking enemies out using a combination of brute force, guns, grenades and vehicles. All the favourites appear with the exception of The Flood (though confusingly one solider I met was babbling about them). So you get the traditional Covenant aliens along with the Gorilla ones of Halo 2 + as well as the insectoid ones from Halo 3. You get all the usual weapons including the cool melee weapons of Covenant sword, and the giant hammer some of the Gorilla aliens wield.

Being a Spartan you get access to different power ups, these include a force field, jet pack, ability to run, ability to project a hologram, and an invincibility. These were cool additions but didn't really change up any tactics (the force field is ace though). To break up the pace of the main shooty action there are a few driving sections including a refreshing space battle, and an epic fly through a ruined City.

I expected a dramatic ending to the game, the music is certainly there to make you aware of how desperate and doomed your journey is but I was sad to see the last level was nothing special at all. It was frustrating more than anything, a long slog through a ship yard that saw you constantly bombarded by grenades and a damn powerful green laser that a lot of the enemies seemed to posses and which kills you in one hit if you get hit directly.

All in all just another Halo game; neither better or worse than any that have come before, great soundtrack though.

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House Call - Horror Short Film Review

2012-01-18T05:38:00.000-08:00

House Call directed by Erik L. Wilson is currently being submitted to film festivals, I was lucky enough to get to see this short (17 minute) film.

Janice returns to her violent husband Dave and murders him. A year later and her and her new boyfriend Steve have moved into Dave's house and are celebrating their one year anniversary. It soon turns into a night neither will forget as strange supernatural happenings lead them on a one way path to horror.

With a short run time and four characters it was important that the film not get bogged down in scene setting. Right away though the four characters are established. Janice (Aimee Bello) and Steve (Michael Jordan) are shown to be very much in love as they talk about her husband and his crazy Mother. Most the film takes place over the one night. Mother (played to super creepy effect by Janet Gawrys) seems created to live in darkness, the contrast between the darkness and herself is sublime, while the husband Dave (Brad Egger) is stereotypical in his white trash sort of way but gets the job done in making him out to be a nasty piece of work.

Often with short films you loose quality and it is to be expected but I was pleased to see here that no quality has been spared, this has the look and feel of a big budget film, helped by the excellent use of a RED ONE camera (better than HD quality cameras). House Call looks crisp with wonderful use of light and shadow to bring terror and suspense. One slight fault with this is that sometimes it is just too dark to tell what is happening on screen.

I was surprised at how quickly the film descended into Evil Dead territory, that's not to say the film is cheap and schlocky, just that it takes that story element and makes it serious and almost terrifying. The special effects are great for the most part, especially the blood which looks beautiful. The ghostly fog that appears now and again is ok also and fits into the film quite well. The opening and ending of House Call features trashy generic rock which is a shame but thankfully the music used for the actual short itself is much better fitting.

The quality of this short is quite something, that along with decent acting, and a good direction makes an effective package and a well done spin on a traditional revenge story.

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The Gathering - Comic Anthology: Issue 4 and 6 reviews

2012-01-17T16:21:00.000-08:00

The Gathering is a (now) monthly comic anthology that focuses on a different genre each issue. It is written by a whole host of contributors and gives both established writers and n up and coming ones a chance to shine. Genres covered so far included romance, heroes, hope and despair, and of course that old favourite horror! Both Issue 4 and Issue 6 are horror anthologies.

Issue 4: Into the Abyss

Into the Abyss features over 2 dozen short horror stories including one by Glenn Greenberg (of Hulk and Spectacular Spider-Man fame). There is a lot of variety in both the stories and the artwork, wildly different, all in black and white. Quite a few vampire stories appear such as Bloodless that tells a cautionary tale of what happens if you don't properly create a vampire. A couple of zombie stories also appear (always great to read). The aforementioned Greenberg has a zombie tale with a twist in the form of Prey for the Damned, while later on another twisted zombie tale turns up in the form of Undead Me.

There is just so much variety and so much skill at using only a few pages to create something truly memorable. A highlight in terms of story telling is The Tree by Brian Defferding and Travis W.Howard that has 24 panels all focusing on a tree throughout history and the evil that has ravaged about it. Totally text free but really quite chilling. Another highlight was the realistic The End of an Afternoon's Street Fighting that is apparently based on true events and follows a group of soldiers relaxing after a day of fighting during World War II, the final panel is pure genius.

Not all the stories look great though, 2 in particular are ones from the web, drawn very simply but still having fun stories. First of these is Lucky Sweater followed by Unfinished Business both submitted from nakedgrapecomics and both silly but still having a horror story at its fun core.

With over 20 stories there are going to be some not quite as good though. The first story Trapped leads the anthology to a bad start as it is really hard to make out what is supposed to be happening with its abstract art style, after 5 or 6 reads I still could not really tell what happens due to the weird look of the thing. Another one I did not enjoy much was There's no such things as Monsters that has the look of a newspaper comic strip and tells a quite boring story that thankfully does not drag on for too long.

All in all though I did enjoy this anthology as I usually do. There is a variety of different art styles, and for the most part the stories are well drawn with clever use of limited space.

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Issue 6: Further into the Abyss

After Issue 4 I was looking forward to reading this one. The strips all seemed to be longer this time around. It starts off strong with the bizarre but entertaining Inflated Evil, but this is then followed by part 2 of the boring Zipper Club that already outstayed its welcome in Issue 4. The comic reaches a high point with the sci-fi horror The Station by Glenn Matchett and David Aspmo about an abandoned space station.

Elsewhere werewolves make appearance in several strips and it is good to see more zombies. The Mistress has a film noir feel to proceedings about a woman wanting to kill her wealthy husband. A charming looking tale set in Hell called Perdition is let down by a confusing ending, while The Knocker just does not go anywhere. The Tipper Ripper is really fun, but it is end story Jack, Unblinking by Travis M.Holyfield and Chris Page that leaves a lasting impression. A creepy and sad tale that is quite the twist on a well loved children's toy.

Again there are a variety of art styles used, some of the art is amazing, Ye of Little Faith has art work that makes the whole strip seem like something from a music video, Arcadio Bolanos turns a simple tale into something special.

All in all another ace anthology collection!

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The Gathering is a wonderful idea, if your interested in getting a hold of these cool comics then they can be purchased at Gray Haven Comics. A third horror anthology is due to appear this year, I for one really cannot wait, I may be even tempted to read the non horror anthologies.

Rage - Horror Videogame Review (X-Box 360)

2012-01-16T04:33:00.000-08:00

Rage is the long awaited game by the Id Software (who did the FPS classics Doom and Quake). It is a FPS that features a combination of traditional FPS levels mixed up with driving sections.

Rage takes place in an apocalyptic wasteland. A meteorite hit Earth destroying civilisation. A chosen few were entombed in stasis pods (called Arks) and buried deep below the earth, the Arks were programmed to resurface for the Ark survivors to rebuild society. Rage starts with your Ark coming online over 100 years since the meteor hit. With the rest of your group dead in their pods you leave to find yourself in a desert wasteland where bandits and mutants roam. A few settlements exist where the population try to live, fending off bandit attacks and ruled over by a self appointed governing body called The Authority. Soon you discover The Authority are tracking you and that their intentions are not friendly.

Rage feels like Borderlands more than Fallout, it is hard not to compare it to these games what with them all being FPS games set in post apocalyptic worlds. Borderlands in particular as that too had both shooting and driving, item collection and sectioned off levels. Settlements provide you with side missions, shops, and mini games (including a fun Top Trumps game). The driving sections are really just a way to get your character from A to B, they look nice but are a bit filler to be honest. The action levels are where it is at.

Each level is set in a different location, usually a piece of ruined history. There are many different Bandit clans, each with their own distinct look to them. The Jackals are based in a giant canyon and attack with tomahawks and crossbows while shrieking, the Gearheads are armoured in sports wear and reside in a Bank, while the Ghosts have their base in an old 5 star Hotel. Other locations include a subway station, power station, an old deserted city and car workshop. Each location has its own distinct look and is fun to fight though with lots and lots of detail packed into the surroundings, as usual it is the obligatory futuristic location that brings the game down, always bland!

The graphics are probably the best the 360 has ever witnessed, character models are very good looking, while everything for the most part looks great. Texture pop in is an unfortunate issue that persists for the game as is some objects that are blurred (such as photos). The sound effects are awesome and really give weight to your weapons. I don't know what it would sound like to shoot someone wearing metal armour with a machine gun but this game gives a good idea!

The different clans and soldiers you fight all behave in different ways. Enemies usually do one of two things; hang back and try to shoot you from cover, or charge you. The charging enemies are the most interesting, they duck, they roll, kick off of walls and swing from the ceiling all in one fluid movement as they advance on you making it tricky to hit them. Your main weapons are the usual fare, they have alternate ammo such as the crossbow firing electric and explosive arrows but are all quite traditional. There are many recipes you can make using parts found in levels. These can be used to make some cool items such as the three pronged boomerang which can be flung at enemies and sometimes get embedded in their heads, a remote control bomb car, as well as sentry drones, spider bots and grenades.

For all the game does it is a shame that the plot is very weak, and missions linear. The game on the 360 is spread over 3 discs but I was disappointed to discover (after a poor and abrupt ending) that only 2 discs are used for the main game. I really loved this game, and for the 14 or so hours I was playing it I had a literal blast, a bad end to a game always leaves a sour taste in the mouth but the game with its solid action levels, decent enough driving levels (there is a whole slew of optional races you can do to get credits to mod your vehicle) and great graphics is well worth experiencing.

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Duke Nukem Forever - Action Videogame Review

2012-01-13T02:30:00.000-08:00

15 years in the making Duke Nukem Forever is a game many never thought would ever see the light of day. Has it been worth the wait?

In the quarter of a century since Duke saved Earth in Duke Nukem 3D Duke has become the most famous person in America. He has casinos, burger bars, toys and cars all named after him, he is worshipped by everyone. An alien mother ship has appeared over the City of Las Vegas where Duke lives. He is forbidden to engage the aliens by the President as it is not known what their intentions are yet pretty soon the City is under alien attack and it is up to Duke to fight his way through the ruined city to not only stop the alien menace but also to rescue all the 'babes' who have been kidnapped by the aliens.

Duke Nukem is a very average game. It looks and feels like an early generation 360 game, it feels like it is just going through the paces. Levels are boring and bland, and the driving sections are so easy and empty that it seems their inclusion is pointless. Duke can only carry two weapons at a time and has recharging health now (called Ego points). His health bar can be extended by doing 'Duke' style things such as looking at porn mags, or lifting weights which is a nice touch.

Starting off in the casinos of Las Vegas you fight on to sewers, desert, and the Hoover Dam. Locations are dull and lifeless, by the games last third I was just wishing for it all to be over, racing through areas praying for the level to end. Combat is ok, the enemies from the previous games (Pigcops and Hover pack aliens) all come back looking different. Boss fights are all terrible and mostly quite frustrating as Duke gets knocked on his back all the time and punished by the high power of the bosses.

Humour has always been a part of Duke games and here it is no different. The humour is mostly really lame and focuses on 'hilarious' dick jokes and mickey takes out of other games (such as when there is some Halo armour in the back of a van). Halo, Gears of War, Half Life and even Donkey Kong are all referenced but when your making fun of other games it would help if your game is actually any good. The NPC's are quite amusing though they only really feature at the games start (one highlight was a NPC telling himself not to geek out when you appear, then he geeks out and faints in a weird Gary's mod style way)

What does it do well then? A few sections see you shrunk down to insect size, you have to traverse shelves while avoiding normal sized enemies who try to squish you. These levels were a breath of fresh air. I recall a cool set piece set around a mobile home that ended with it tipped on its side. The weapons all feel solid and there are some nice extras such as a time line of Duke Nukem Forevers development cycle.

The constant sexual innuendo along with plenty of female nudity (both alien and human; the alien queen boss has three giant breasts) really bring this game down and make me embarrassed to be playing the game as nudity can be handled maturely in games. Duke Nukem 3D is still a great game, I really wished they had just made a modern style game in that ilk rather than spending the last 15 years jamming as many other games gameplay mechanics into one misfitting and meandering shooter.

On an end note; the load times for this game are insane, I literally got in a cycle of waiting a few minutes for the level to load, playing it for 30 seconds, dying, then having to wait another few minutes for it to load, especially frustrating on the awful boss battles.

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Blood Fare - Horror Film Preview

2012-01-12T03:09:00.000-08:00

Am doing some admin at the moment and catching up with all the emails I have been sent. One email was about a film called Blood Fare.

Blood Fare is described as a civil war ghost story with a modern twist. From the press release and the trailer it seems that the main characters ancestor was killed during the civil war, upon his death he did not have money to pay the Ferryman who transports the dead to the afterlife and so a curse was placed on his blood line which equates to a grim reaper looking figure chasing young people through woods.

The acting seemed of a low standard but it is hard to tell just by watching a two minute trailer. To be honest I have seen enough 'psycho chasing people through woods' films to last me a lifetime, maybe this one is different. It does have special effects by Chris Hanson (did special effects for Hellboy, Underworld, Men in Black) and features some established actors such as Gil Gerard (played Buck Rogers in the TV series). The historical aspect of the film seems interesting, and it certainly is well shot and looks clean and crisp.

Blood Fare I would imagine will be out this year, I will probably check it out, it could be good.

The Grave Bandits - Zombie Film Preview

2012-01-11T13:02:00.000-08:00

I heard about this film a while ago, but only now have I decided to check it out. The Grave Bandits is a story about 2 young Filipino grave robbers. Discovered one day they flee to a nearby island but soon disocover it is full of murderous cannibals. Worse is that the angry Townsfolk of the graveyard they had been robbing from have followed them to the island and all transformed into zombies.

Going by the trailer the film looks to be a 28 Days Later style one, albeit one set on a tropical island. It certainly looks professionally done and the location of the Philippines makes it have a unique look to it.

The Grave Robbers is currently in post production so hopefully it wont be too long before I get to check this out.

Shadows of the Damned - Horror Videogame Review (X-Box 360)

2012-01-04T10:16:00.000-08:00

Shadows of the Damned is a game created by a true dream team. The music is provided by Akira Yamaoka (he of Silent Hill fame) while it was created by Shinji Mikami (the creator of Resident Evil) and Suda 51 (responsible for the bonkers Killer 7, No More Heroes, and Flower, Sun, and Rain)

You play as Mexican Demon Hunter Garcia Hotspur whose girlfriend Paula is abducted by the Lord of Demons; Fleming and taken to Hell. Garcia follows, and is joined by rogue Demon Johnson (a magical floating skull who doubles as a torch and motorbike). To get to Flemings Castle Garcia must fight his way through Hell, forever keeping the deadly darkness at bay.

The game is a 3rd person action one, resembling Resident Evil 4's style of over the shoulder gun play. It is quite over the top and starts as it means to go on. As soon as Garcia gets to the underworld he gets on a motorbike to ride the Highway to Hell for a fast paced intro sequence (pure Suda 51). The game is level based, taking place over 5 chapters that sees Garcia travelling from Demon Town to the countryside on his journey to Castle Hassle where Fleming resides. Along the way he battles 1000's of Demons as well as being plagued by images of the death of his girlfriend who is repeatedly being killed in different ways designed to torment Garcia.

Johnson is your weapon, changing to one of 3 different guns that roughly equal a pistol (fires bones), machine gun (fires teeth), and shotgun (fires skulls), Red gems collected or brought from the shop can be used to upgrade your weapons to make them stronger and faster while blue gems bosses drop upgrade your weapons (such as being able to power up your shotgun to fire a giant exploding skull)

Most levels see you solving simple puzzles such as locating keys for doors, or locating goat heads to hit with your light blast to repel the energy sapping darkness. Darkness plays a big role, some switches can only be located when you are in the dark, while the light repels enemies. The Demons you face are all invincible when in the dark. To break up the simple puzzles and shooting there are some fresh segments. One level takes place in the red light district of Hell and sees you defending your position from approaching giant Demons using a giant gun called the Big Boner (activated by Johnson calling a sex line in a phone box), while a few levels see you in a 2d side scrolling shooter that has the look of a puppet show.

The game has a rich vein of humour running throughout though does a good job of being serious when it needs to be. A lot of the humour comes from Johnson who provides a commentary on the locations you visit with a wry delivery. Books can be found in the game that provides a story of how one of the games bosses came to be in Hell. These are narrated by Garcia or Johnson and there are lots of comments from the characters as they read. The whole of Hell is shown as a place where Demons happen to live, rather than the place damned souls go when they die. Also there are some cool nods to Evil Dead, and Ghostbusters that made me chuckle.

Enemies range from weak demons whose limbs can be shot off, to armoured ones, crawling demons, giant cyborg demons and more, all have the same visual style to them. Bosses are more fun such as skinless George whose presence can be told due to the harmonica stuck in his throat. The bosses all take different means to kill and are exciting to fight with the exception of the last boss who is very frustrating as it takes so damn long to kill him.

The soundtrack is very Yamaoka and would not be too out of place from a Silent Hill title while the humour and sound effects are obviously Suda 51. The game has the feel of Resident Evil 4 at times with combat being more fluid and fast paced due to the inclusion of a dodge button and a quick turn.

I had a lot of fun with this title, under looked and certainly has its issues (one type of enemy if not killed correctly causes the game to become stuck) but a real rock and roll action packed blood soaked journey, and Garcia F*cking Hotspur and Johnson are great foul mouthed hilarious characters. Well worth a play.

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Angry Zombie Ninja Cats - Zombie Videogame Review (X-Box Indie)

2012-01-03T10:04:00.000-08:00

I have not reviewed a zombie indie game for a long time, and with good reason; they are nearly all utter trash. The title alone put me off playing Angry Zombie Ninja Cats.

Cats are evil creatures, so zombie ninja cats you would expect to be even worse. You play as a ninja cat who has to platform itself through 19 small levels collecting green jewels, avoiding or killing the zombie cats and then locating the exit. I only played the trial and so don't know if there would be more levels after the initial 19 but as it is a 80 Microsoft point Indie game I doubt it.

The ninja zombies walk from left to right, if you get near them they flash red and charge towards you. You can kill them by shooting them with collected flying stars as well as touching them while invincible. Levels are short and not hard at all. Animation is kept to a minimum. Dying involves you vanishing then reappearing at the level start.

The game is colourful and cheap and does feature a very good background song but there is nothing much to the game and could have done with having more of a platforming puzzle element to it. The zombies do groan at you though which is something I guess!

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All Zombies Must Die! - Zombie Videogame Preview (X-Box 360)

2012-01-02T07:50:00.000-08:00

I had a feeling that All Zombies Must Die! is a spiritual successor to the very average Burn, Zombie, Burn! and so was in no great hurry to trial the demo. Lo and behold the demo was good though, and has made me want to play the whole thing.

All Zombies Must Die! takes place in a Town over run by zombies. Rather than lame killing zones you instead get to traverse through the Town and even better there is a story. The game is split into smallish areas of the Town and each one you are tasked with finding the next exit. The exit is always guarded by a robotic barrier which gives you a mission such as kill a certain number of ghouls, or locate an item hidden in the level.

The demo gives you 4 different levels. The first one gives you an introduction to the game and a shotgun, while the 2nd one takes place around a Police Station where you are tasked with locating another survivor hiding out. The third area has you exploring houses in a posh part of Town while the last area takes place on a bridge out of Town and ends with the appearance of a boss; a normal zombie made giant by a puddle of toxic waste.

As you kill zombies you get experience points to level up with. Exploring crates rewards you with extra ammo and experience items (such as finding a Psychos Knife). The whole look is cartoony and is similar to the look of Burn, Zombie, Burn! but very crisp and attractive to look at. The music is really good, one in particular was a homage to the Halloween theme from the John Carpenter classics.

If I get rich or this goes on sale I will definitely buy it, at 800 Microsoft points it is not that expensive.

General Update for January - Happy New Year! Edition

2012-01-01T05:55:00.000-08:00

A new year, and hopefully a new lease of life for this blog. As my job is to end very soon I will for a time (a short time I hope!) be able to devote myself to this place a bit more. It is not a lie to say I have neglected it a bit, it could do with a dust. I have a competition coming soon! So there you go, something to look forward to.

I am playing Shadows of the Damned about a Mexican called Garcia Fu*king Hotspur who is on a journey through Hell to rescue his lost love in a 3rd person actioner. Also being played is the immense Skyrim of which I was 32 hours into when I stopped playing it for the last few weeks. The very boring RPG The Last Remnant is kinda being played, as is Sam and Max: Night of the Raving Dead which is full of zombies.

I got a few more horrors for Christmas to add to my growing pile. Quite a few zombie ones such as Children of the Living Dead, Siege of the Dead, Zombie Town, and Zombie Virus on Mulberry Street. I have two episodes left of Season 1 of The Walking Dead also.

I intend to read more this year, most likely starting with Swords of the Dead (I think it is called) that I was sent quite a long time ago now to review, as well as some horror comics that I have also been sent. Need to keep up to date with tasks I get sent rather than putting my own stuff first.

Well I hope you have a shocking new year, and if the world does end this year I hope you are one of the unlucky survivors so that you can join me in taking my girlfriend to a green burial site if she should perish. I will need a gang to get me past marauding mutants and the infected as I carry her corpse on the back of a horse to complete her dying wish. That almost sounded poetic...

Singularity - Horror Videogame Review (X-Box 360)

2011-12-29T12:52:00.000-08:00

Time travel stories are always interesting, they just really satisfy an itch, who wouldn't want to travel through time, and who has done so and not screwed up time? Timeshift was an early 360 game that was ok but let down by frustration, Singularity is a much better game that has elements of both Bioshock and F.E.A.R.

After a huge electromagnetic surge damages an American spy plane a small force of US Soldiers are flown to the small island of Katorga-12 that used to be under Soviet rule and where the surge radiated from. Another surge causes the helicopters to crash land killing most the Soldiers. The island had been uninhabited since 1955 when an unknown disaster caused the Russians to abandon the island. Playing as Captain Nathaniel Renko your initial aim is to get to a radio tower for extraction. While exploring the island you somehow enter a time portal that takes you back to the 1950's. In the 50's you rescue a scientist from burning to death in a fire before time shifts back to the present. You soon discover the present day has changed dramatically; the island is full of strange mutants, as well as Soviet troops, it seems the Soviet Union rules the world in this weird present, something has changed to alter the path of history.

The game has a very impressive start, exploring the island of Katorga-12 you are immersed in lots and lots of detail; posters, notes, and audio recordings, a real sense of place that brought to mind a very familiar Bioshock vibe. The game is very slow to start and gives you a leisurely pace to explore and soak in the islands background. Shapes are seen through windows, shadows pass you by, and when you finally encounter enemies they are zombie like and weak. A jaunt through a School complete with bodies of children everywhere tells a wonderful visual story picked up by the scenes left behind. About a third of the way through the game though this all stops. From then on the game is a shooter in the F.E.A.R mould but with none of the breaks, just shoot out after shoot out. The locations devolve into warehouses, sewers and laboratories that loose any sense of real locations that you would want to explore.

Time is used to great effect. Soon in the game you locate a special wrist band that gives you time manipulation powers. You can rapidly age enemies turning them into dust, repair destroyed walkways and crates, slow down time and levitate objects (Half Life 2 inspired). Pockets of time give you ghostly cut scenes from the islands past while plot based moments see you travel back in time to fight 1950's Soviets that give old locations a lick of newness. One great level sees you on a giant tanker that literally ages before your eyes using a nifty Silent Hill style transition from sparkly new to rusting and aged. Small puzzles use time but these never get too varied. A favourite is putting a ruined crate under a steel shutter and then rebuilding it to cause the shutter to open.

The game has a variety of enemies, the Humans are mostly cannon fodder but are armed with a variety of weapons and later ones wearing time manipulation impervious suits. Monsters are not that excitingly designed, having the appearance of zombies, conjoined twins, giant spider type things, and irritating bugs that explode on contact and attack in swarms. As well as your time wrist watch thing you have access to usual weapons such as rifles, pistols and rocket launchers. These are given new looks to them but basically operate the same way as usual. One cool weapon is a rifle where you get to control the bullet (like the sniper rifle in Jericho) and cool bouncing bombs that can be remotely detonated (and is used for a puzzle just the once).

The plot starts off really interesting but in the end falls apart due to bland characters of the main antagonist; cruel dictator Demichev, and good guy Scientist Barisov who are cookie cutter plain and predictable. There is a late game twist that is kinda fun, though obvious. Notes and audio diaries are interesting and give a sense of the island once being a living place, particularly good are the propaganda reels you can watch.

The game looks and plays great but does feel like at times it takes so much from games that have come before. It has its Half Life 2, Bioshock, and F.E.A.R moments and does not really do anything more than imitate them. Entertaining and fun but a weak plot, and bland locations stop this from being a must play game.

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Another Earth - Film Review

2011-12-28T11:04:00.000-08:00

This film it has to be said is not technically horror, well ok, it is not remotely horror, but it shows such isolation and real life despair. I was convinced to watch this after two friends raved on about it, I was captivated from start to finish.

Another Earth has a kind of sci-fi background to it but mainly it centres on a lonely woman. The night a new planet appears in the night sky a talented young student Rhoda Williams (Brit Marling) under the influence crashes her car into a family of three. A young boy and his Mum are killed, while the Dad; John Burroughs (William Mapother) is put into a coma. Four years later Rhoda is freed from Prison a shell of her former self suffering major depression. Lacking the courage to admit her crimes to the other survivor of the crash she instead poses as a house cleaner determined to make his life better. In the four years she has been in Jail the other planet has gotten closer and is revealed to be a 2nd Earth, identical in every way down to the people and places; a mirror Earth. Rhoda enters a competition in the hope of winning a seat on a Spaceship that is going to fly to the 2nd Earth so that she can escape the misery of her life and start a new one.

Another Earth does not have much dialogue in it, a lot of the film is spent following Rhoda in her daily life, silent train journeys, walks, and working in her medial job as a high school janitor. She has lost her opportunity for a good life, shunning the company of others, obsessed with helping Burroughs whose life she ruined the day she killed his family. Burroughs is also a loner, spending his days locked up in his empty house, a mirror image of Williams he too has given up on getting any joy from life.

The characters really make this film work, Mapother and Marling perfectly portraying ruined shells who just no longer fit into society. Williams family don't understand her, old friends shun her and she has become obsessed with serving Burroughs. The 2nd Earth story is clever in that by taking a back seat to a more mundane story it becomes in itself more realistic despite how stupid the idea of an identical 2nd Earth appearing is. No explanation is given and is usually only talked about via TV and radios playing in the background of scenes. The growing relationship between the two main characters is well handled and apart from a stupid side plot involving some barmy Red Indian Williams works with at the school the film is near perfect in its bleakness and loss of hope for the world. The ending managed to send a chill down my spine (somehow) and was a good finish to a thought provoking insular journey through one girls life.

No horror, not much sci-fi but lots of interesting thoughts and a filmed style that totally absorbs you.

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Top 5 Christmas Horrors

2011-12-24T07:29:00.000-08:00

I was sure I had done such a list before, but no, apparently not. As I have been neglecting my blog so much lately I have not actually got around to watching any Christmas horrors for review. Instead here is my list of the very best Christmas horrors I can think of. (A prize to anyone who can find my Christmas list as I am getting a very high feeling of deja vu).

5. Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman

The first Jack Frost (lower on my list) was a funny slasher centred around Christmas. The sequel obviously has a much lower budget, and a far more stupid story. The Snowman believed dead has returned but this time he is stalking his victims at a tropical holiday resort. Leads to issues of melting, and the appearance of little critter style evil snowballs. Not very good, and the humour falls flat.

4. Black Christmas

One of the very first slasher films, predating John Carpenters Halloween this centred around a house where an unknown assailant picked off his victims. The scenes with the killer are mostly filmed from his perspective which while a novel idea is kinda boring. Not much happens in the film truth be told. The film was remade a few years back but is not supposed to be good at all.

3. Jack Frost

From memory this film is about a convicted criminal who escapes from his prison van during transportation but gets in an accident with toxic waste and becomes a living snowman. He stalks the inhabitants of a sleepy remote American town killing them in Christmas themed ways while wise cracking (I seem to remember one victim was killed by a deadly candy cane while someone else was strangled with Christmas lights). I found this film quite entertaining.

2. Gremlins

Before the comedy Gremlins 2 came the more serious Gremlins (with a streak of black humour). Everyone knows this film; A cute creature (a Mogwai called Gizmo) is brought by an inventor for his son Billy. After breaking the rules for looking after a Mogwai the town is over run by vicious and cruel Gremlins who delight in mayhem and murder. A great scene with an old woman and her (Gremlin engineered) malfunctioning stair lift.

1. Home Alone

A young child (Macaulay Culkin) is accidentally left at home when his family go off on holiday for Christmas. Kevin; the young boy learns of a plot by two dangerous (but dim witted) robbers to burgle his house. With no one to turn to Kevin must defend his house the only way he knows how; by mutilation, torture and pain. His house is turned into a house of tricks and traps and the two thieves are left near dead after the worst night of their lives.

So there you are, hope you all have a very scary, nightmare fuelled Christmas, and a terrifying New Year!

F.3.A.R - Horror Videogame Review (X-Box 360)

2011-12-14T13:47:00.000-08:00

I recently played through the F.E.A.R series again and then saw F.E.A.R 3 cheap so picked it up. It quite average reviews when it came out, but having enjoyed the other F.E.A.R games I was looking forward to playing it, though kinda put off by the fact that it sounded like it was now geared towards co-op play.

Set 9 months after F.E.A.R 1 and 2 the game starts with Point Man (the silent protagonist of F.E.A.R) who has been captured by Armacham (evil corporation of the game world) and is being kept in a ruined prison complex in what appears to be South America. His brother Paxton Fettel (one of the main antagonists of F.E.A.R, now a ghost after being killed by Point Man) frees his brother so that they can go back to Fairport where their mother Alma (spooky ghost woman who is pregnant after raping the protagonist of F.E.A.R 2) is about to give birth to god knows what. Battling both the forces of Armacham, and the insane residents of Fairport the two must discover where their mother is.

The game certainly feels like a F.E.A.R game, plenty of intense shoot outs, use of slow down, and realistic environments. I always love how F.E.A.R usually sets its levels in locations that feel real rather than levels in a game. This time around locations include the slums of South America, a supermarket, suburbs, an airport and City streets. All are great fun to fight through and have incidental details such as signs, fake products, and objects, though it is a bit off putting that signs with convenient arrows usually are placed to guide you where to go next). The suburbs in particular are kinda creepy, ruined house with walls covered in bloody symbols, and one solitary pram coated in blood. The back story is that when The Vault was destroyed in F.E.A.R 1 (and 2, and F.E.A.R Files) it released a psychic wave that turned everyone caught in it into psycho cultists who draw Alma symbols everywhere, and mutilate themselves. Making the already devastated City into even more of a Hell hole. The only sane inhabitants are the security forces of Armacham, everyone else is mad or dead. How a City such as this was able to be completely destroyed and trashed by one corporation without the rest of America knowing is kinda a bizarre plot hole.

As usual the main people you will be fighting are soldiers who come in a variety of guises. They hide behind cover, attempt to flank you, and panic when their squad members are killed. Their Commanders are ace, giant armoured soldiers who can teleport through portals, usually walking out of the wall behind where you are hiding. Cultists bring a nice 28 Days Later vibe to the game as they charge you armed with tools, or with explosives strapped to them. Even with limbs and arms blown off they will keep running towards you, impervious to pain due to being under Alma's control. Zombies are cool! As usual some monsters appear, these are as usual blooming annoying to fight, monsters are always bad to fight in the F.E.A.R games.

The story is pretty terrible and confusing, and it is a shame that the last level of the game is turned into a dull story based slog through an Armacham facility that culminates in a frankly stupid boss battle. A poor, boring end to an otherwise action packed game. Weapons feel like they pack a punch, and some sections where you drive a Mech and fight helicopters, and other Mechs nicely split up the shoot outs. A nice touch is that Alma's labour pains send shock waves through the City causing gaping holes to appear in the ground, and sending enemy helicopters spinning out of control.

Single player sees you first playing as Point Man, and then able to play as Fettel. Apparently Fettel being a ghost has to possess enemies to fight, co-op sounds interesting in that he can help out by possessing an enemy and then taking out his comrades while the other player picks them off. Sounds interesting. Each player is scored depending on actions they take (such as head shots, and finding psychic links), and at games end the player with the most points gets to have his ending show.

I really quite enjoyed F.E.A.R 3, it does what it always has done, and that is provide solid, bloody shooting action. Again not at all scary though!

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Bulletstorm - Action Videogame Review (X-Box 360)

2011-12-06T11:56:00.001-08:00

Bulletstorm is a FPS action game that comes from Epic Games (creators of the Gears of War series). The game is comical and action packed full of humorous violence and bucket loads of profanity.

Grayson Hunt and his crew have been hunting all over the galaxy for their ex commander General Sarrano whose orders led to them accidentally killing innocents. Finally locating the General aboard his battle cruiser; The Ulysses Greyson drunkenly rams his ship into it hoping to kill the General. Instead both ships crash land on the nearby planet Stygia. Escaping the wreckage Greyson soon discovers the population of the planet are a bunch of murderous psychotic mutants. Battling through the hoards Greyson and his injured cyborg crew mate Ishi set out to find the General.

The game reminded me a lot of Gears of War, the design of the characters just brought to mind the Gears but this game is a far more jaunty, comedic, yet incredibly violent one. Killing enemies rewards you with skill points with which weapons can be upgraded, and ammo brought. The more inventive ways you kill enemies the more you get rewarded. Kicking enemies off ledges reward you with the Vertigo reward, while you get the Compassion bonus if you kill an enemy after shooting them in the nether regions. There are loads of different skill points which range from impaling enemies on spiked surfaces, setting them on fire, shooting them in various parts of the body, or using your trusty leash to manipulate them into objects and creatures.

Your most trusted utensils at your disposal are your foot and your leash. Kicking an enemy causes them to go flying backwards in slow motion giving you time to set up a suitable kill, your leash does the opposite grabbing far away enemies and flinging them towards you in slow motion. The usual assortment of sniper rifle, machine gun, pistol and (4 barrelled!) shotgun makes their appearances and are joined by more different weapons such as a grenade on a chain that wraps itself around enemies before exploding, bouncing mines, and a rocket powered spear gun that spears enemies and pins them to walls. All these weapons are violent causing enemies to blow apart, loose limbs, and heads, as well as be ripped in half.

The locations are surprisingly diverse, in fact the variety is one of the most exciting things about this game as they all look beautiful and really solid with the Unreal Engine used to great effects. The backgrounds are stunning, one level sees you with magnetic boots walking down the side of a sky scrapper with the City below, another sees you working your way around a giant dam with the dam stretching out into the distance. The planet you are on was created as a resort planet so there are plenty of beautiful vistas, night clubs, parks and tourist attractions. Also mixed in with these are prisons, spaceships and caverns all looking amazing in their own right. The world feels like a real place with explanations for everything really.

For the most part it is all shooting but it never gets stale due to the different level designs such as working your way through a collapsed building, controlling a giant mechanical dinosaur, or an on rails segment fighting a Godzilla sized beast rampaging through the City. Full of cursing and inventive swearing and genuinely funny moments that are just insanity with witty dialogue. The voice actors are all good, though the character of Ishi himself is a bit boring and plain.

The plot is certainly basic but is well told, at its heart it is a revenge story with your character Grayson Hunt on the tail of General Sarrano whose manipulations cause you to murder hundreds of innocents while under his command. As Triskha says later in the game, its less about revenge though and more to do with atonement, after all it was Grayson who did all the killing, and it was his mission to destroy Sarrano that led to the death of his crew mates, and the mutilation and change of Ishi so if he can just do what he set out to do he will be able to feel less guilty. The story of how the planet came to be over run with psychos and mutants is well told with visual imagery to suggest a hasty evacuation, and later a lot of the back story is filled out by the people you team with who relay rumours.

A very enjoyable game that looks and sounds great, apart from a weak story ending the games pace never lets up with action sequence after action sequence. Violent and great fun.

SCORE:

Deus Ex: Human Revolution - Sci-Fi Videogame Review (X-Box 360)

2011-12-04T10:23:00.001-08:00

Deus Ex: Human Revolution is the third game in the Deus Ex series but is actually a prequel to the first 2 games, being set 25 years before Deus Ex. Deus Ex is a first person shooter that also has heaps of RPG elements. You are likely to spend just as much time talking to people as you are fighting them. The way you play influences how characters react to you leading to a variety of different outcomes.

Set in 2027 and starting in Detroit you are Adam Jensen the head of security for Sariff Industries who are in the field of human augmentations. An attack at a lab by a group of heavily augmented mercenaries results in the death of Adams girlfriend; scientist Megan Reed as well as him being horrifically injured. To save his life and with a nod to Robocop he is brought back from the brink of death by David Sariff who outfits Adam with a wide host of augmentations such as robotic arms and legs, and microchips that enable Jensen to become more than human. While trying to track down the group responsible for the attack Jensen also has to cope with his loss of humanity and an erupting outbreak of violence by Pro Humans who want augmentation banned and people who see augmentation as the next step in human evolution.

The game like Deus Ex 1 and 2 has a very Blade Runner-esque Cyberpunk feel to it. Set mostly in Cites the world is a dark, grimy crime filled place full of giant neon signs where the divide between rich and poor is massive. The main locations are Detroit where Sariff Industries HQ is located, and Heng Sha Island in China. Heng Sha exemplifies the rich and poor divide best having had a new City built on top of the old. Above the rich live in granduer while below are slums full of whore houses and night clubs run by private military companies and the Yakuza.

The Cities provide a main hub to the games missions. You always have your main quest line to do. These usually involve you flying off to some self contained location to do a mission such as freeing hostages from a terrorist group at a lab, or infilitrating the HQ of a rival augmentation company. Side missions are provided by characters hanging out in the hub areas. These missions are usually quite simple, though varied enough not to get boring.

As you earn experiance new augmentations can be brought as well as old ones upgraded. You can for instance gain the ability to fall from any height without taking damage, gain the ability to smash through walls with your fist, jump large distances, hack locks, breath poison gas, and a host of others. These abilities are mostly all cool and give you a real advantage in battle and sneaking around locations.

You have a set space to hold weapons and items you collect, the usual assortment of pistols, machine guns, shotguns etc are avaliable. These can all be upgraded by buying upgrades from black market sellers. I found the most useful weapon I had was my pistol. Upgraded to do more damage, a bigger cartridge, silenced, and a laser sight made it awesome.

The game is not really designed to be played as a traditional shooter. It is at its best when you try to avoid combat by hacking security terminals to turn of cameras, or to turn robots and sentry guns against their owners, or bypassing enemies by stealth (you get the cool ability to turn invisible) or by using the many ventilation shafts dotted around levels. The enemy A.I is kinda terrible so if you do engage in combat you can useually stay in one location while a line of enemies engage you one at a time until all are dead. The boss battles are at odds with the game design though being compulsary shoot fests.

Human Revolution looks quite attractive, the mian colour used throughout the game is a golden hue. The human animations are not that great, when you speak to characters they tend to fling there arms about in a weird way, and some of the character models are not that great. The main cast is voiced well though, especially David Sariff who has an excellant voice actor. Plot wise things are not that great, the story keeps you going on with a conspiracy by world leaders but there are not really any great surprises or hooks to keep you wanting to see what happens next. The last part of the game does ramp up the story a bit though.

For the most part you fight normal humans, with only the boss battles really using augmented ones. You get into narration based battles as well, such as using options to stop a man from commiting suicide, or talking a gun man into giving up his hostage he is holding at gunpoint. These talky battles have no wrong outcome, if the man kills himself, or the gun man kills the hostage the game adapts to deal with that outcome.

It took me around 20 hours to complete I think, I had fun but the last 5th did get a bit tired. It really does feel like a Deus Ex game, I was reminded heavily of the past games, especially the last part where you get to choose your ending. This is no bad thing, I enjoyed the other Deus Ex's. It is just a shame that there is not a more diverse setting to the game, the offices and facilities all start to blend together a bit.

A great game despite my complaints, a nice breath of nostalga even if the genre has been bettered by the open worlds of Fallout and Elder Scrolls.

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Interview with the Vampire - Horror Film Review

2011-11-30T13:05:00.001-08:00

For reasons unknown I always thought Interview with a Vampire was a chick flick, so I never watched it. I recently was convinced to watch it by my girlfriend, and I am glad I did! In general I dislike Vampire films, there have been a few good ones such as Lost Boys, Near Dark, and Fright Night but the more traditional ones usually leave me unimpressed.

The film starts in modern day San Francisco with reporter Daniel Molloy (Christian Slater) interviewing a strange man; Louis de Pointe du Lac (Brad Pitt) who claims to be a vampire. The rest of the film follows the story Louis tells of how he came to be a vampire, and what it is like to be one. The majority of Interview with the Vampire takes place in the 18th and 19th Century. Louis depressed with life after the death of his wife and daughter meets a vampire called Lestat (Tom Cruise) who turns Louis. Together they prey on humans though Louis refuses to take a human life, wanting to retain some of his humanity that Lestat seems to have lost. A young girl Claudia (Kirsten Dunst) whose Mother has died of the plague is turned and becomes like a Daughter to Louis, though he is haunted by the fact that he has stolen a life away from this being who will be stuck for eternity as a little girl. From the moment he became a vampire up to the present day Louis recounts his harrowed, doomed life, less as a story of interest, more as a warning to others.

Interview with the Vampire is nearly two hours long and is neatly segmented into two different feeling parts. The first part has Louis relationship with the near psychotic Lestat. Lestat loves being a vampire and sees humans as weak prey. Good living and plenty of victims are enough for him. Louis on the other hand only become a vampire as he was sick of life. As a vampire he is forever scared of losing his last shred of humanity, his conscience makes his new life one of misery and regret. Cruise plays the role of Lestat fantastically bringing real life to the role, his scenes are quite memorable. Pitt is a far more brooding character, brought to mind the way Angel acted in the Buffy series.

After an epic finale to part 1 the setting moves across the seas to Paris. Here the film takes on more of a revenge feel as Louis encounters a bizarre theatre troupe comprised of sadistic vampires led by creepy joker Santiago (Stephen Rea) (his first scene in which Louis encounters him is the most surreal scene in the whole film with Santiago doing a bizarre silent routine that involves him dancing on the roof of a tunnel). The troupe in turn follow master vampire Armand (Antonio Banderas) who is willing to teach Louis the secrets of living as a vampire, but at a high cost.

This film is epic, as one spanning 200 years should be. There is quite a lot of violence, of course mostly revolving around drinking victims blood. The blood looks awesome, really thick and red. A few dramatic fight scenes also occur with body parts flying left right and centre as Louis wrecks bloody revenge. In the film vampires can be killed by direct sunlight, and have to sleep in coffins, but they can survive stakes to the heart, fire, and crosses. They have super human strength and agility as well as the ability to fly (well hover, which does look kinda silly). The effects for the vampires are subtle but really work. Veins show more, and the eyes are different, and of course they have fangs but there is not say the violent change the vampires in Fright Night display.

At its heart it is a dark tale film with plenty of horror elements. Sometimes it descends into high action, other times introspective musings on the meaning of life. Louis is not that great a character, he easily gets overshadowed by the more eccentric and exciting characters such as Lestat. It is hard to feel sympathetic for the character of Louis who truth be told is a bit of a whiny loser. The films ending it has to be said is really quite cool. There is a homoerotic feeling to the relationships between the vampires so if for some reason you wish to see Pitt and Banderas nearly kissing then this is your ticket.

I totally realise I have discussed story and not much else so onto other things for the wrap up. The locations look great, the film is shot well, and it never looses its steam right up till the end. The later day segments reflect the strangeness it must feel for Louis to outlive time periods. Lots of blood, and for a vampire film it was cool. I am not the biggest fan of vampire films but this while quite traditional in places provided a welcome respite from the trash of Underworld, Twilight and its ilk.

SCORE:

General Update for November 2011 - I'm Late Edition

2011-11-26T07:05:00.001-08:00

It is very near the end of the month and I have suddenly realised I have not done a general update yet. As of late my updates have plunged downhill, this is due to having a job now so not much free time to read, watch or play stuff. Still I must do more than just the one update a week.

I am still working my way through the Hellraiser collection, quite delayed seeing as I planned to have watched them all by Halloween. I have a few zombie films I am looking forward to seeing; Pontypool, Seige of the Dead, Undead or Alive, as well as Season 1 of The Walking Dead. I currently don't have my Cinema pass so am missing out on any new releases unfortunately.

On the book front I have Danek S. Kaus's Swords of the Dead to read as well as a billion Stephen King, Jamers Herbert and Dean Koontz novels. Meanwhile at games I am playing through Deus Ex: Human Revolution as well as Demons Souls and Sam and Max: Night of the Raving Dead.

As you can see I have plenty to be going on with, I just need to pull my finger out and update more often! On a side note Blogger is god awful to use as it frequently breaks but regardless I am going to set up a pointer for therottingzombie.co.uk to point here as the site is more established.

Traumatized by Alexander S. Brown - Horror Book Review

2011-11-20T12:55:00.001-08:00

Traumatized is a collection of horror stories all penned by Alexander S. Brown. The book is just over 300 pages, and the font size is not large to make up for the length.

I was quite concerned after reading the first tale 'Bloodlines', concerned as I did not remotely enjoy it. The story featured a haunted mansion but it plodded along so slowly that I was quite bored, it doesn't help that it is the longest story in the book. The next story 'April' was better but still I just found myself not enjoying it. It was halfway through the third tale (about a religious cult) that something clicked, I realised I was really enjoying it, glued to the book. From that point on the book had me in its thrall. Story followed story with me completely addicted to what would come next. There are so many different types of horror that it seems crazy this all come from the mind of just the one person.

The book has ghost tales, ones about serial killers, vampires, demons, witches, and even my favourite creature the zombie! 'From Midnight to One' (about a woman living out in the middle of nowhere whose home gets invaded) actually caused me real fear, previous to this H.P Lovecraft was the only author able to scare me. I confess that after reading that particular story I had to get out the house and go visit a friend for company! Another truly scary one is 'It's All True' about a man visiting an abandoned hospital in order to do research on a new book. Both given me the fear just thinking about them! At other points Browns work starts to resemble Bret Easton Ellis's American Psycho or Chuck Palahniuk's Haunted going really grim and disgusting with 'Live Through This' (an unpleasant story about a homosexual rapist) and final story 'Zoe's Swan Song' (a celebrity seeking perfection). I really thought I was going to vomit reading it, the descriptions are so detailed and horrific, but I could not stop reading despite feeling faint!

A lot of the time the endings to the stories are heavily signposted (literally in the fantastic 'Two Miles' about a mobster who wakes up in a burning hot desert with no memory of how he got there) but this doesn't stop the enjoyment of finding out how the story gets to that point.

The writings reminded me of spoof horror writer Garth Merenghi; titles such as 'Feast of the Pigs' (about Police who eat their prisoners) had me in stitches as the concept is so ridiculous yet played so straight faced. Brown does dabble in similes far too often, seeming to include them whenever he can, but some are genius and whether intentional or not quite funny (example; 'She appeared similar to a decaying clown from hell'). He goes a bit too graphic for my likings sometimes, sex scenes invariably are too detailed for my innocent mind to like. On the other end of the scale some of the violence is crazily over the top and looses its impact on occasion.

Regardless of all this I can say with hand on heart that with the exception of H.P Lovecraft and Edgar Allan Poe this is the very best horror anthology I have ever had the pleasure to read! Brown's imagination is unrivalled, being able to take so many generic horror ideas and craft them into entertaining, pulpy stories that don't challenge the mind but do just satisfy that particular horror itch we all have. He has a real gift, and is certainly a true Master of Horror.

Despite a false start the book is a highly entertaining read, Brown is a talented writer able to conjure up fear, disgust, and humour as well as live up to the standards of pulpy horror . I look forward to what he does next!

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Enslaved: Odyssey to the West - Fantasy Videogame Review (X-Box 360)

2011-11-13T02:48:00.001-08:00

Enslaved is a post apocalyptic adventure game set in America. Rather than the usual dreary browns and greys of wasteland America you get lush visuals full of greenery and sunshine. Unfortunately the game did not sell well at all which is a real waste (land).

Enslaved is based on Journey to the West (one of the four great classical novels of China) It starts with Monkey (the character you play as) a prisoner on a slave ship. Another prisoner; Trip has escaped her cage and in doing so accidentally brought about the destruction of the slave ship, freeing Monkey in the process. After a mad dash through the disintegrating ship (as it flies over a ruined New York) he manages to get to an escape pod which crash lands. Monkey awakes to find he has been fitted with a slave collar, the female escapee Trip explains that she now controls him, he must help her make the long journey across the continent, if he refuses her commands the slave collar will kill him, if Trip dies then that will also kill Monkey.

The game is a third person level based adventure that is a lot of fun to play as. For a change the post apocalyptic world is beautiful to look at, nature has reclaimed the world. The first third of the game is the most beautiful taking place in a devastated New York over run with greenery taking in such locations as Broadway, Grand Central Station and the Brooklyn Bridge. The City is a giant tomb with absolutely no life other than birds, it feels so empty and bleak. Unfortunately the locations after this rapidly go down hill, some nice mountain levels degrade into swamps and ugly places such as deserted robot factories full of dull colours. Apart from some bad texture pop in the game does look quite brilliant throughout.

It is never explicitly revealed but it is hinted at that the world ended after a huge war involving robots. Now littered over the world are robots lying dormant, ready to be activated when their sensors detect human life. Monkey fights these with his staff, and the combat is really powerful with brutal finishing moves that manage to look violent even though he is only dismantling robots. Defeated enemies drop experience orbs, and the levels are littered with these orbs. They can be used to upgrade Monkeys health and shield, as well as give him more moves to use in combat.

The best thing about this game is Andy Serkis, and the cut scenes in general are really well done. Andy is the voice and motion capture for Monkey. The interaction between Monkey and Trip (voiced and motion captured by Lindsey Shaw) is really well done, starting off as highly suspicious of each other they come to really care for each other without the need for any soppy love scenes. A third character; Pigsy (a little fat man whose armour resembles that of a Pig) joins the group which leads to lots of humour, and rivalry between him and Monkey, as well as a love triangle forming. He lends the game a light hearted touch that helps to not make things too bleak. This is not a particularly happy story, lots of bad things happen which isn't even sorted by the ending. I was honestly nearly crying after seeing the ending, an amazing ending, really worth playing through the game just to see, to say any more would be to ruin it.

The game is quite easy, levels a combination of simple puzzles, platforming and robot bashing. Bosses make appearances and are fun enough to fight, and Monkey gains the ability to fly around on a cloud for some sections of the game. Hidden in levels are bizarre markers that reveal random photos of Andy Serkis doing different things (such as working in an office, or visiting the Pyramids with his children), these are cool to see.

I love this game, it is a shame that not more people brought it (me included!). It has a fantastic script, likable characters, and a truly special ending.

SCORE:

Famous for Dying by The Active Set - Music Video featuring zombies

2011-11-10T11:25:00.001-08:00

This is the second time today I have written this post as Blogspot is junk and frequently breaks down. Sigh, here I go again, sorry if my enthusiasm seems muted.

I had never heard of The Active Set prior being sent a link to their video for song Famous for Dying. They are not really my thing, their music sounds a little like Interpol but I don't really like the vocal style. The song starts off like most other music videos, the band playing their song. This is interrupted when a group of zombies turn up and after a brief battle rip the band to pieces, for the final two thirds of the song the zombies sit around eating the band members in a moment similar to that in classic Night of the Living Dead.

The special effects are bad in a fun way, and there is a cool moment when the bands drummer sticks his drum stick into a zombies eye socket.

The Year After Infection - Zombie Film News

2011-11-09T09:55:00.000-08:00

I heard tell of an interesting film currently being made by Vertice Films. Interesting for one because it has zombies in it (always a good thing) but also because the film really does sound genuinly interesting.

The Year after Infection is a compilation of four different stories told over the course of a year (the year following zombie apocalypse). Each of the four stories takes place during a different season. Thats about all I know. The trailer is ok but seems to lack much zombie action and focus The Walking Dead style more on the survivors then the undead. I will certainly be keeping an eye on this though. See what you think...

Panic Button - Horror Film Review

2011-11-05T15:22:00.000-07:00

This film was so different to my expectations, I thought I was in for a Hostel style teen horror, instead what I saw was a much more intelligent psychological terror. I have lost my mojo lately, so again not a very well written review, apologies for that.

Four strangers from the UK have won a competition from a popular social networking site; all2gethr.com (a spoof of Facebook). Their prize is an all expenses paid trip to New York. The four; single mother Jo, geeky Max, Gwen, and slimy Dave are at first over joyed to see the luxury they are getting; limos, champagne, and a private jet. It is when they are on the jet that things start to go awry. As part of the in flight entertainment they are given a quiz to do by a mysterious representative of the social networking site who appears via TV screens as a computer animated Alligator. The quizzes are just that little bit too personal, revealing humiliating and nasty facts about the group. Things get even more sinister when it is revealed that the punishment for refusing to take part is the death of a friend from their friends list. Pitted against each other by the voice the group must somehow work together whilst all the time having the threat of a death of a loved one hanging over them by the cruel sadistic Alligator.

Panic Button is a real psychological horror. It reminded me quite heavily of the under rated My Little Eye. There is a terror through out that is helped along by the claustrophobic jet, with the majority of the film taking place in the cabin of the jet. The Internet is such a big part of everyones lives, Panic Button is scary in that it all rings true, the amount of personal information the majority of us happily put onto these faceless networking sites would give anyone ammunition to use against us.

The four main characters are all really well played, all British actors, they play their roles perfectly, and realistically, with lives on the line just how far would you go to protect your loved ones? The reactions as they slowly realise the situation they are in is really well played, believability is a key factor in what makes this film so genuinely creepy. Alligator starts off as a jovial character, his slow descent into cruel Saw style tormentor is quite subtle, Joshua Richards is ace as the voice. My favourite character was Michael Jobson as Dave who plays his stereotype very well bringing a real vulnerability to the role.

The tone is quite bleak throughout, a ever present sense of dread helping this. The plot keeps you guessing throughout, though the twists are not too amazing but still keep your eyes glued to the screen. The film looks wonderful, with great direction, and despite a minimal use of violence the fear holds out. It also plays in near real time, a really neat feature that I always love in films.

This is a real product of our time, sites like Twitter and Facebook taking our information, while the Internet encourages bad behaviour due to the anonymity that using it gives us. It certainly made me think twice about the Internet. Now I'm off to delete my Facebook account; you know, just to be on the safe side!

Panic Button is released on DVD and Blu-Ray on 7th November 2011. A surprisingly effective thriller!

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Paranormal Activity 3 - Horror Film Review

2011-11-04T10:32:00.000-07:00

I went to the Cinema Tuesday night, finally got to see the Paranormal 3. I had heard tales that it was the best yet. With now three films in the series should it still be called Paranormal Activity, or just Normal Activity?

After some brief clips from the stories of Paranormal Activity 1 and 2 discussing family videotapes the aforementioned videotapes play. They were all taken in the late 1980's when the two sisters Katie and Kristi are little girls. Their step Dad Dennis is a wedding videographer and so likes to film his family lots. When creepy goings on such as strange noises, and images are seen he decides to set up video camera around the house to catch anything supernatural happening. He finds it all quite exciting and seems to have little regard at first for all the damn creepy stuff going on. As the nights pass more and more scary things start happening and Dennis begins to realise that it isn't fun and that him and his family are in mortal danger from a supernatural entity.

A sequel too far perhaps? I think it is because I have seen so many 'found footage' films now but there really were no surprises in this latest entry. People being dragged away by unseen forces were terrifying in Paranormal Activity 1 and 2 but here they have just lost all their fear through familiarity. Sudden crazy eruptions of furniture made me leap to the roof in Paranormal Activity 2, but again here they have lost their impact. I will never forget the kitchen scene in 2 when all the cupboard doors suddenly slammed but the same kind of effect is played far too many times here. Again with the door slammings, jump scares, and time lapse footage showing a figure standing in one spot for hours; all have been done to death in other films and just feel boring here.

The third film being a prequel is a nice touch, and being set in 1988 leads to some nice looking set work, and clothes. The plot though is just not very good, and the characters not too interesting. Dennis the main lead is likable, even if he seems to not care too much how the spooky goings on are going to affect his step kids. He seems too caught up in the events to appreciate just how messed up it is making his children. His wife Julie is not in the film a great deal, mainly as the activity is kept hidden from her for most the film. The other main characters are Katie and Kristi. Kristi has an imaginary friend called Toby who turns more and more sinister as the film progresses going from an amusing interlude to a thing of terror. Minor characters such as a babysitter and Dennis's apprentice Randy bring humour to the film but they too get caught up in the fear.

My main fault with the plot is that it is just silly, things make no sense such as why the videotapes were kept in the first place when they show such incriminating evidence, and I know the kids are supposed to have no memory of all that takes place but surely they would remember something?

The film is scary, I will grant it that, but so much opportunity is missed, I kept imagining horrifying things and instead got muted things instead. The moving camera in the kitchen/front room was under used, and should have been far more scary, the special effects are too clinical. The last third of the film really ramps up the horror and makes the film finally near nail bitingly terrifying but it is too little too late, though it did bring to mind 'The Last Exorcism'.

So all in all not a fantastic film, not bad, but so very average when it should have been scary as Hell.

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Swords of the Dead by Danek S. Kaus - Zombie Book Preview

2011-10-30T10:01:00.000-07:00

I have recently become aware of a unique sounding zombie book by the name of Swords of the Dead written by Danek S. Kaus. It is unique in that a small Town has not only come under attack by zombies, but Ninja zombies at that who despite being dead still utilise their martial arts to (un)deadly effect. I am pleased to be able to provide a sample of the book to give a taste of its humorous style:

Dozens of people, mostly men, were milling around the entrance to the warehouse. The chatter was coarse, fueled by alcohol and nicotine. The sun had gone down a couple hours before but the heat was still radiating off the pavement. Mike and the woman stepped outside. Several of the men gawked at her, lusting. He pulled on his tee shirt. Mike noticed her watch his muscles ripple with the movement, then she spoke up. "My name is Eva Stratford," she said. "I want to hire you."
Mike didn't want the hustlers and degenerate gamblers nearby to hear talk about money. He put an index finger to his mouth, pointed to the end of the block. Eva understood and walked along beside him, the clacking of her high heels on the sidewalk becoming more evident the farther they got from the noisy warehouse turned illegal fight arena.
When they were out of earshot, strolling along a darker section of the industrial park, Mike finally spoke, the image of the money still fresh in his mind.
"So, why do you want to hire someone like me?"
Eva hesitated, as though trying to construct her argument.
"The town I live in has been invaded by some kind of martial arts experts."
"So, get the sheriff."
"I can't," Eva said. She hesitated again. "They ate him."
Mike wasn't sure he had heard her correctly. He stopped. Eva stopped.
"What do you mean ate him?" Mike said.
"They ate him," she said. "You know, knife and fork, a little ketchup. Ate him."
"Oh, come on," Mike responded, not believing her. She had to be pulling his leg. He studied her face, waiting for a punch line that didn't come.
Finally, he said "You're serious." She nodded.
"They ate him," Mike said, still trying to process what she told him. "All of him?"
"We found a finger inside his pants," Eva said. "It had his wedding ring on."
Mike was able to suppress a laugh but couldn't help commenting on the absurdity.
"I guess they must have used a really tiny coffin for just a finger," he said.
"A dog ran off with it," Eva said. This time Mike burst out laughing. Eva colored, embarrassed, but then she too chortled, succumbing to the contagion of laughter. After a few moments, she was finally able to control herself. She turned serous again. Mike was close enough to smell her perfume. Jasmine? The faint fragrance was tantalizing, made more arousing, as it mixed with her skin and perspiration. He wished his shirt was back off. He imaged slowly undoing each button of her business jacket.
"I really do need your help," she said.
"I don't fight dogs."
"Will you be serious? Please?"
Mike saw the desperation in her eyes. He wished he hadn't been so insensitive.
"Go on," he said, matching her tone.
"The sheriff was the first victim. Since then, several more people have been eaten or partially eaten. People are terrified."
"How do you know that martial artists are doing it?"
"I saw a couple of them through a window. Other people did too."
Mike resumed strolling, thinking. Eva tagged along.
"There's one more thing," she said. "I think they're dead." Mike halted. They were standing near some trash cans at the opening of a dark alley.
"Who?" "Them. The Ninjas," Eva said.
Now he was pissed.
"You almost had me there," he said. It was all some stupid joke.
I'm a doctor," Eva said. "I know death when I see it."
"And I know bullshit when I hear it. There's no dead Ninjas or any other martial artists roaming the earth eating people."
Two blue, glowing circles pounced at him. As Mike's eyes adjusted, he saw a hooded figure slashing at him with two large, serrated knives. Instinctually, Mike pushed Eva behind him, ducked under a sweeping blade and grabbed a trash can lid. He held it up like a shield as the man in the robe slashed and stabbed, the blades clanging and screeching as they punched and scratched across the metal lid. The guy was fast! The ferocity of the attack kept forcing Mike backwards. Without turning his attention away from the attacker, Mike yelled to Eva.
"Get out of here!"
Mike kept backing up. This was no good. Without a weapon to defend himself, eventually there could be only one outcome. It was just a matter of time. These were not conscious thoughts but a sense of knowing welling up. Survival demanded he go on the offense. But how?
Without consciously deciding to do so, Mike ran at his attacker, pushing him with the trash can lid. The blades pounded on the tortured metal. Mike spun around behind the man, jabbed his foot into the back of his knee and pushed. The man dropped to one knee, slashed backward at Mike. Striker twisted the arm palm up and grabbed the knife. Mike slashed the now exposed forearm, cutting a deep gash. He was surprised that no blood gushed out. No time to think about that. The attacker leapt up and spun around, facing Mike.
At least he had a blade now, and a shield. He stabbed at the man, who deftly avoided him, despite what should have been a crippling take down. The attacker's blade clanged several times on the lid. Mike drove his blade in low. He jammed it deep into the gut. The man let out an unholy shriek as Mike drove the blade across the belly area. But the attacker did not go down. Mike yanked back the knife, shocked to see the small amount of ambient light reflect a clean blade. Had he missed the belly? Been only slashing heavy fabric?
The adrenaline that had him operating on automatic in the ring was waning. A hint of fear wormed its way into his conscious mind. He had to finish this guy now. Mike began slashing, driving forward with his shield. The cowl of the robe fell back, revealing a rotting face. Mike was sickened by the site of it. And the smell. Rotting flesh. And those blue, glowing eyes.
His blade found the neck, ripped a deep groove across it. The man stumbled backward, screamed again. It was a ghastly, unworldly sound. Still no blood.
Not knowing what else to do, Mike drove the knife into the chest. Once, twice, again. The man, or creature, howled. It was ear piercing. Then it fell. Mike stood over the body. Breathing hard. He heard the clack of shoes behind him. He spun around, knife at the ready. Eva.
He lowered his guard. She looked him over.
"No cuts," she said, clinically.
"Do bruises count?"
Eva stepped toward the body. She pointed to the rotting face.
"Now do you believe me?"
"I don't know what I believe," Mike said, trying to catch his breath. "Let's say that what you told me is true. What's that thing doing here?" Whatever it was, it was gruesome looking. And a little scary.
"It must have followed me, hid in the back of my SUV," she said
"Why?"
She shook her head. Mike didn't believe Eva, but doubted he would get the truth from her.
"Will you take the job?"
"Do I get paid for this one?"
"You really are mercenary," she said. She opened her purse. "How much?"
"Five thousand dollars," Mike said. "That's the going rate for killing–whatever that is." Mike held out his hand as she counted the money.
"Now will you take the job?"
"How many are there?"
"Three or four," Eva said. Mike knew she was lying.
"How many?"
"Maybe ten." Too many. One was too many.
"It would take a team," Mike said. "I don't have a team. Good luck." He headed back toward the warehouse. Eva called after him.
"I didn't think you would be afraid."
Mike stopped, turned to face her.
"Lady, I'm always afraid when a beautiful woman gives me money."

So there you have it. Zombie books are always welcome and brain eating Ninja zombies are right up my street. A review of the whole Novella will be coming soon. Swords of the Dead is available now on Kindle.

Alien VS Predator - Horror Videogame Review (X-Box 360)

2011-10-29T15:08:00.000-07:00

Average reviews were the order of the day when this was first released. Having now picked it up for the cheap price of £8 I thought I would see if it is as bland as suggested. Like the Alien VS Predator games that came before this one has three different campaigns in which you play as a Human Marine, an Alien, and a Predator.

As a Human you are a Marine sent to investigate a distress call put out from a planet owned by a rich businessman. Arriving on the planet you discover it has been over run by Aliens, the Weyland-Yutani group had discovered a Predator Temple buried on the planet, and found Aliens there. With the arrival of a band of Predators alerted to this it seems escape from the planet will be very hard indeed.

The human campaign is ok, as in average. The planet is full of jungles and at times it worryingly feels like the poor Turok remake with your slow, clumsy Marine firing ineffective guns at creatures hidden in long grass, and in trees. The constant beep of your motion tracker is very cool though, as it always is in Alien games, but you really do feel quite weak fighting the acid spraying Xenomorphs. The game is very plain in its design with no surprises anywhere and little joy to be honest. Weapons are functional but boring, everything looks ok but not amazing and the plot is terrible; all meat headed Marines and meandering around the planet quite aimlessly.

Enemies are quite cool, Xenomorphs are quite fun, climbing around ceilings, popping out of vents, and spitting acid at you from afar, it can be unfair sometimes with close range kills destroying your health due to the acid blood. To mix up the action there are plenty of robots to fight, as well as a few Predators who usually just turn up as boss fights. They can be kinda annoying as when their health is low they run off and hide to recharge. It is not a spoiler to say an Alien Queen also appears in a boss fight, nothing special.

The Alien campaign is the shortest of the three. It is quite easy, but fun enough. As an Alien you can climb on walls and ceilings, you can pierce enemies with your spiked tail as well as slash, and do brutal finishers on downed enemies. It can be quite disorientating climbing around the walls and the finishers require button prompts which are very hit and miss, you can easily get killed due to the game not recognising your inputs which is frustrating. It was during this campaign when I realised with disappointment that the three different campaigns use the same locations. I may have been approaching levels from different places but was still a let down. There are some original sections added, but most of it is recycled from the Marine game.

The Predator campaign is actually the best of the three. It is really quite empowering playing as the bad ass monster. You can turn invisible, jump large distances, have access to a variety of cool weapons such as a shoulder mounted cannon, spear, proximity mines, discus, and your wrist blades. As the Predator you can also have access to heat vision (just like in the films) and later get a acid vision power up letting you see Aliens. It is the same locations once again but picking off humans one by one is fun, and the finishes (that usually see you ripping enemies heads off) are entertaining even if the button prompt issue once again rears its head.

Alien VS Predator is functional at best. It does what is expected, has all the sights and sounds you would expect from the licence, it just doesn't seem to have any passion at all, bland locations, a poor excuse for a story, and just really feels like it is ticking off items on a list of things to include in a Alien VS Predator game.

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Nightmares in Oz - Horror Comic Review

2011-10-27T12:42:00.000-07:00

Nightmares in Oz is a horror comic due to be released by the ace Viper Comics on that scary day of October 31st 2011. For your 0.99 Cents you get a digital download of 48 pages, so quite the beefy buy. But what is Nightmares in Oz, and is it any good?

A group of teens have all chosen to go on a camping trip to some woods outside of a small American Town called Osmann Grove. It just so happens that a few hundred years previously a young girl had been burnt to death on a scarecrow pole by the Townsfolk of the time who had been convinced the girl was a witch Just before the girl died she placed a curse on all of the Townsfolk of Osmann Grove, as well as all their descendants. Each generation evil comes to the Town to kill to remind the Townsfolk of the grave mistake they have made. That time has coincided with the arrival of the teens. Soon they find themselves pursued by the forces of evil across the woods, cornfields, and graves of Osmann Grove.

For the 48 pages you get a heck of a lot of action, and many many violent deaths. It is only a few pages in that the murders start, and they really don't let up as the helpless teens are killed one by one by the evil forces. The main killer is an animated scarecrow, he is armed with a scythe that he wields with lethal accuracy, for most the time you see the scarecrow his weapon is literally dripping blood. Mute, lithe, and deadly his appearance is foretold by the sound of straw snick snickering along. A horde of flying demons also appear, more a nuisance than a threat they still manage to kill quite a few of those unwary teens. The seemingly good force in all this is the ghost of the burned girl. She implores the teens to help her find a way to end the terror.

The plot is quite weak and not a lot is really explained, the comic is to be continued (twist ending) so maybe the next one would explain some of just what is going on. There seems no real point to anything, the teens are there to party and include all the stereotypes you can think of; the mean jock, the bitchy girl, the cool guy, the wimpy kid etc. Nightmares in Oz (cool title) really reminded me of a tacky teen slasher film with characters you don't care about, a poor excuse for plot, and lots of bloody horror. Sometimes it is good to just relax with a piece of trash though, and I did find myself quite guiltily entertained by the goings on. Makes me sound really shallow but the many deaths did it for me; people being decapitated, impaled, disemboweled, lovely stuff thick with plenty of the red stuff.

The art work is good with nearly realistic, but slightly over the top looking characters, the killer scarecrow comes across as suitably menacing. My only gripe with how the comic is set out is that one page was in the wrong order causing a brief moment of confusion, I'm sure this will be remedied before it is released on the 31st. The comic would make a great tacky movie, and as a comic it was a fun, exciting, albeit shallow read that featured plenty of entertaining violence, so left me satisfied.

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General Update for October 2011: Spooky Halloween Edition

2011-10-24T13:08:00.000-07:00

It is near months end and I have only just got around to doing a general update. Been a very busy month outside and inside the blog. I for the moment have a paying job, that is great for getting money to buy new things to review and talk about, but terrible for sucking the energy out of me and making my PC the last place I want to be when I have gotten home from work. So onto films...

Paranormal Activity 3 is at the Cinema currently, I have heard tell that it is the best of the three so far, I will definitely be checking that out. Contagion; a disaster film about a deadly virus is also showing, not sure if I will get time to check that one out though. I most certainly missed Guillermo del Toro's Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, the trailer was not very good but that doesn't say much when nowadays they are near universally bad. I still have a pile of horror DVDs waiting to be seen, and have ordered a few cheap zombie flicks as well as Season 1 of The Walking Dead. Oh yeah, I am up to Hellraiser 5, I planned to have reviewed all 9 by the end of the month, the best laid plans of mice and men. Books...

I am reading Traumatized by Alexander Brown at the moment, it is a collection of short horror tales. So far it has been really quite good, each story is totally different from the last, lots of variation. I have a few back issues of the excellent Darkside Magazine to read, as well as Issue 6 of Shock Horror Magazine that shocked me as I had totally forgotten about it. In time for Halloween I have a comic from Viper Comics about an evil Scarecrow that looks kinda cool. Also have a cool sounding tale of Ninjas and zombies to read that I am looking forward to. Onto games...

A friend lent me Demons Souls on the basis that I review it when it is done. It is very good, very atmospheric (and hard!) but as I play it I am aware the sequel has just been released so feel a bit late to the party. I am also playing the so so Alien VS Predator for the X-Box 360, nearly done with that. One of the Episodes for Sam and Max Season 2 is all about zombies, called something like Night of the Raving Dead. I shall be doing a post about that particular chapter.

So lots and lots going on, and so little time to do it. Still, stick around dear followers!

The Dead - Zombie Film Review

2011-10-23T03:43:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine recommended I watch The Dead, he said it was the best zombie film he had seen in a long long time. It sounded cool, the only problem was that it was not yet released on DVD. That time has now come to pass and so last night I lay on my sofa and gave the disc a whirl.

The Dead takes place in Africa. Zombie apocalypse has happened and American Lt Brian Murphy (Rob Freeman) is on the last plane out of the country when it crashes into the sea off the coast of West Africa. He makes his way to shore as the only survivor (pretty much). Even as he lays on the beach recovering zombies start appearing, drawn towards his living form. From here on in it is a relentless journey as Murphy heads inland hoping to find a plane he can use to escape the doomed continent, ever under attack by the undead hordes. Along the way he teams up with Sgt Daniel Dembele; an African soldier who has gone AWOL from the army in order to find his son. Together on the road trip from Hell the two travel into the beautiful and haunted land.

The Dead is a stunning film. The natural vistas bring a sense of both isolation and insignificance to the pairs quest. The film features no big towns, streets, or roads, instead we get open plains, rocky mountains, deserts, and corn fields with the ever present dust, and sweltering sun beating down. The two can never afford to stop, it is never long before roving undead appear. They walk like zombies of old; so slow, such lifelessness in their eyes. These are not angry, hate filled creatures, but emotionless empty shells. I believe real life amputees where even used to play some of the zombies. The closest we get to civilisation in the film are small villages made of clay huts, an abandoned rusting airfield. The country was not much to begin with and now with zombie apocalypse nature is claiming back its land.

The film is played realistically and seriously and in a very straight way. For the whole of the films 108 minute running time there is not one single joke or pun made by either of the main characters. These are people on the edge, desperate to fulfil their goals. Dialogue is very, very sparse, Murphy on his own does not say a word, so the first fifteen to twenty minutes are near silent, even teamed up with Dembele the pair hardly say much to each other, only speaking when necessary. Even so a link is built between the two, and you come to really root for them.

Plenty of violence occurs with lots of zombie chompings and head shots. Limbs are cut off, heads decapitated, driven over and sliced up but the blood spilt is minimal. The true fear comes from the tension that always seems ready to explode. Many of the films set pieces take place in stressed situations. Climbing a rocky outcrop to escape grabbing hands, changing a wheel on a truck while the zombies get closer and closer, even just the act of sleeping brings with it danger beyond imagination.

It is not perfect though, some of the dialogue feels a little forced in order to create tension, such as when they argue over whether to use their precious water supply to fix their overheated truck, or when after crashing the truck at night at one point they argue whether to turn on the headlights or not so they can see where they are. It seems whenever the pair stop, no matter how remote the location zombies start to appear, either really bad luck or just to make the film more exciting. The acting for the most part is stellar. Characters don't feel like they are acting, it all seems quite natural. There is one part where a kid runs into the background to sit on his mothers lap that really felt ultra choreographed and forced, as if it had been practised hundreds of times; as stupid as it sounds that was officially the worst part of the film for me.

The Dead is a haunting, bleak and thoughtful film. It feels at times like The Road with zombies. A beautiful film.

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Hellraiser: Bloodlines - Horror Film Review

2011-10-22T10:48:00.000-07:00

You can usually tell a horror franchise has lost the plot when it has an entry set in space, so I was kinda worried when the opening of the fourth Hellraiser film is set in the future; 2127 to be exact. This film spans three different time lines, following the trails of the family who designed the original puzzle box.

A scientist on a space station has summoned Pinhead in order to destroy him, just before he is able to though a group of armed soldiers turn up and arrest the man (Dr Paul Merchant) due to him hijacking the station he is on (and also designed). Whilst being interrogated Merchant begs to be able to kill the demon, thinking him mad his interrogator Rimmer decides to hear his story. Merchant reveals that his ancestor Phillip L'Merchant was a toymaker in the 18th Century who was tasked with creating a unique puzzle box for a rich client. The puzzle box is the original Lament Configuration that summons demons to Earth. After this tale is done he then talks of another ancestor John Merchant; an architect who encounters Pinhead in the mid 90's (a few years after the events of Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth). His family bloodline is cursed and each generation has worked to create a foil to counteract the evil they have unleashed on the world.

The film is quite cool in that it is set in three distinctly different time lines. The original story was to have equal amounts of time dedicated to each timeline, but the script got butchered due to the desire to focus on Pinhead (who was not created until the 20th Century). The 18th Century scenes are authentic in look but it is off putting that it is supposed to be set in Paris yet everyone speaks with American accents. Originally time specific Cenobites garbed in powdered wigs and such were due to be featured, but these were cut from the script. Instead we get a demon summoned; Angelique who is a Princess in Hell.

The 1990's section of the film is the most traditional section. Following on from the twist ending of Hellraiser III we see the creator of the Lament Configuration building stalked by Angelique (still in human form) and Pinhead who she summons to help destroy Merchant. Angelique believes seduction techniques can help her get what she wants (the destruction of the Merchant bloodline), while Pinhead who is beneath Angelique wants to get him by pain.

The last section set in the future bookends the film, it is kinda interesting in a tacky sci-fi type of way. Lots of plasma rifles and long corridors. For a film that is set in three distinct time periods it works surprisingly well, albeit in a cheap way. Each Merchant is played by the same actor (Bruce Ramsey) his wide eyed innocence in his first two incarnations grates a little, he is too clean cut a character to be able to root for. His more grizzled and worn out future incarnation is good, just a shame the sci-fi part is the smallest of the three.

Pinhead is joined by a Dog cenobite as well as two conjoined twins. The violence unleashed is quite fun to be honest, people getting skinned alive, decapitated and ripped apart, at times the film feels like it was made for TV but was actually the last Hellraiser to be get a cinema release.

I have done it again and written this review on two different time periods so will read confusing and lost I no doubt fear. Not a bad film, an interesting concept, and Doug Bradley is on fire as Pinhead here, one of his best performances since the original. In a side note I have been told I talk too much of plot and don't critique films. I may try and change the way my reviews are written. Watch this space...(probably wont)

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F.E.A.R 2: Project Origin - Horror Videogame Review (X-Box 360)

2011-10-17T13:40:00.000-07:00

I had memories of F.E.A.R 2 not being that great, I recalled it being too Sci-fi and not enough horror based. Replaying it for review (and in anticipation of someday playing the apparently average F.E.A.R 3) I discovered things are not quite so grim.

Including the two additional episodes (brought together in F.E.A.R Files) this is the fourth F.E.A.R game that features the damned explosion at the Vault. The game begins slightly before the end of F.E.A.R and ends not that long afterwards (I would guess a month at most). You play as Delta Force operator Michael Becket whose squad has been tasked with taking into custody a woman high up in Armacham (an evil corporation responsible for events), you soon find that you and your squad were all recruited. for your psychic abilities. After the Vault explosion knocks you out you awake in a mysterious Hospital that is under attack by ATC clean up crews led by the vicious Colonel Vanek who want to destroy all evidence of Armacham's involvement in the events that have devastated the City. With the help of a mysterious voice on your radio calling himself Snakefist you must evade the ATC clean up crews, as well as Replica soldiers 'awakened' by Alma (a psychotic ghost) and find a way to stop Alma's rampage which is literally ripping the City to shreds.

This game looks so much better than the other F.E.A.R games, the graphics are really quite good and feature lots of large chunky characters and enemies, everything seems so much larger than the average looking things of F.E.A.R. Now the reason I did not rate F.E.A.R 2 too highly at first was due to locations. For the first half of the game locations are realistic in feel, apartment buildings, streets, a Hospital, and a School. What F.E.A.R does well is create locations that feel real, and Project Origin continues this feeling for most the game. The last third turns into ridiculously large and convoluted secret bases that feel like videogame levels rather than real places which is a real shame as you leave the game only really remembering these large soul-less bases rather than buildings covered in details such as posters, graffiti and everyday objects like telephones, computers and books. What is really cool is how totally destructible some areas are with windows, objects and walls all collapsing during hectic gunfights.

Enemies for the most part are quite similar to F.E.A.R. You get an assortment of ATC and Replica soldiers who look different but act much the same apart from having better A.I to ensure they duck and hide more realistically. The fighting is visceral and your weapons really feel like they pack a punch. Blood sprays in large amounts, a particular highlight was that the Nail gun weapon now actually pins enemies to walls, nice attention to detail! There are not really any new weapons, there is a cool Doom style BFG weapon that reduces any enemies the energy weapons ammo passes into skeletons. More monster type enemies appear in the form of crawling mutants who are in plentiful numbers. Ghostly enemies appear in the form of ghosts who are kinda annoying as they invert the screens colours when they attack, also there are ghosts who can reanimate dead bodies.

To break up the FPS action there are sections where you control a giant battle mech and lay waste to lots of foes, while some turret sections also feature, one near the end of the game has a bizarre rock number that starts playing, kinda cool but totally out of the blue for the games serious style. The story is easy enough to follow, though again it assumes you have a knowledge of the F.E.A.R storyline. Like the other F.E.A.R's this is not a scary game despite the many appearances of Alma. In the original games she appeared mostly as a child in a red dress, but here she is portrayed as a grown up naked monster/ghost chick that reminded me of The Grudge or The Ring in the look of her.

Not a bad game, it looks and plays well, it just is let down by some very bland last levels where it could have done with something memorable.

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Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth - Horror Film Review

2011-10-16T09:57:00.000-07:00

Pinhead is back once more, in an original story this time rather than a linked sequel. This time the series really starts its descent into the tropes of horror sequels with a much higher body count, less serious, and more screen time for the bad guy.

A young reporter Joey (Terry Farrell) at a Hospital witnesses a man ripped to shreds by magical chains. Thinking there may a story in the events she starts researching to find out what happened. She learns about a nightclub called The Boiler Room where the incident took place, and that the man had been attacked after stealing a cube off of a statue the owner keeps there (the statue in question is the monolith that appeared at Hellraiser II's dodgy twist ending). Meanwhile the club owner; arrogant J.P Monroe (Kevin Bernhardt) discovers that Pinhead is trapped in the statue, he offers J.P power if he helps to release him. It all boils down to the fact that Pinhead has been split into two and so there is the demon part who wishes to rule the Earth, and the human part who wants to stop the evil side.

At first I was a little confused; in the previous films Pinhead was pretty much emotionless, an agent of Hell. In this film he is a far more evil character; getting angry, taking great delight in hurting people, and being far more crafty in general. With the appearance of good Pinhead this change makes far more sense. No longer bound by the laws of Hell evil Pinhead cares nothing of his job (to take careless souls away for an eternity of torture) and instead seems to want to destroy the world, in fact he is now scared of the puzzle box as it has the means to banish him. Pinhead is joined by a whole host of Cenobites he creates and together they unleash carnage on the City. The scenes of them banded together are quite exciting, and certainly the action highlight of the film.

The special effects are quite cool this time around. The Cenobites are varied including one with a video camera embedded in his face, one with a ever lit cigarette sticking out her throat, and one (that seems very dated now) that has Cd's stuck into his skin, and fights by ejecting Cd's from his chest and flinging them with deadly force at his victims. There are a heck of a lot of kills, I would say the body count stretches into the hundreds! Many of these are via Pinheads chains while some other more inventive ones include a glass of water that transforms into a floating watery Pinhead face before turning into an ice spear and impaling some poor girls throat, and the aftermath image of a man killed seemingly by having his mouth filled up with Pool balls. Yes, it is a bit over the top, but Pinheads rampage is very enjoyable to watch as he hams about doing Christ like poses all over the place.

The film is set in the early 90's and is an echo of the time; much like the dress style in Hellraiser was a window to 80's fashion. The plot this time around actually makes sense, though there are some tenuous plot links to advance story (the reporter Joey just happens to have recurring nightmares about her Dad dying in Vietnam, it just so happens that all war dreams are linked so good Pinhead is able to contact her via dreams, and just so happens Pinhead's human past is deeply trenched in warfare). More back story on Pinhead is revealed here as well, following the last part of Elliot Spencer's life (his name before being reborn) leading up to his reasons for using the fated puzzle box. Also there are enough nods to Hellraiser II to please series fans.

I really enjoyed this film, characters are well rounded, especially the tragic character of Terri (played brilliantly by Paula Marshall) who has one of the worst life's imaginable and is played as secretly ultra vulnerable. It is dated definitely, but is fun, violent, and keeps a nice fun side to the series.

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F.E.A.R Files - Horror Videogame Review

2011-10-12T13:28:00.000-07:00

F.E.A.R Files comprises two expansion packs released for the original F.E.A.R; Extraction Point, and Perseus Mandate. I assume if you are wanting to play this then you have played F.E.A.R as the plot will be utterly incomprehensible if you are jumping in a virgin.

Extraction Point continues directly after the ending of F.E.A.R with you continuing to play as F.E.A.R operative 'Point Man'. Alma believed destroyed is instead still going. She sabotages your helicopter causing it to crash. Together with your two squad mates you need to make it across City to a Hospital where you will be extracted (hence the title Extraction Point). The City has felt the effects of the explosion that destroyed The Vault (at the end of F.E.A.R) so there is ruination everywhere. Soon after starting Paxton Fetell (the main villain of F.E.A.R) mysteriously comes back to life.

Extraction Point takes place over 6 Intervals (Levels) and takes around three to four hours to blast through. Many of the locations you travel through have the usual F.E.A.R curse of being boring run of the mill places. You get sewers, warehouses, a subway station, and a Hospital amongst over places. Hardly the most exciting locations, but that's what F.E.A.R does well creating realistic locations rather than exciting gamey ones.

Enemies mostly comprise of the soldiers from F.E.A.R, new classes of soldiers appear such as one who has a giant metal shield and fires a mini gun, while some new weapon types appear such as a laser gun. Invisible red eyed children also are in abundance, more annoying than scary they run up to you and hit you before running away again.

Extraction Point really is more of the same and offers nothing new, it also features quite a muted ending. It is fun to play though despite its bland locations.

Perseus Mandate takes place during and after the events of F.E.A.R, roughly half and half. In this add on you play as the originally named Sergeant who is a member of a 2nd .F.E.A.R squad dispatched to the City. You are tasked with finding out the motives of a shadowy Mercenary group known as the Nightcrawlers.

This add on is far more action heavy then Extraction Point, the plot takes far more of a back seat. There is not really any paranormal stuff until around the halfway point mark, instead it is a series of battles against ATC Security forces, the Nightcrawlers, and Replica soldiers (who also battle amongst themselves). New enemies are obviously the Nightcrawlers who behave much like the Replica army but are armed with a new type of machine gun. The red eyed children, and floating ghosts are joined for this instalment by creatures who pull you into the ground.

Location wise there are offices, warehouses, sewers, and plazas with the final location resembling the Vault from F.E.A.R. Locations are ok, but have lost some of the believability that has come before. I actually enjoyed Extraction Point a lot more to be truthful, endless battles got to feel a bit stale, and this game even involves several boss fights.

For a budget price F.E.A.R files is an amazing buy, you get a lot for your money, and a blood soaked fun FPS romp, just don't expect to be scared, F.E.A.R never really was a scary game, and even less so in this guise.

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Hellbound: Hellraiser II - Horror Film Review

2011-10-10T03:56:00.000-07:00

Before Hellraiser was even released scripts where being written for a Hellraiser II, and III. The films were supposed to focus on the step-mum Julia as the main antagonist but after it was discovered how popular Pinhead was this was quickly changed.

Hellbound: Hellraiser II takes place very soon after the end of Hellraiser. Kirsty (again played by Ashley Laurence) is being kept at a mental institution due to her tales of battling demons. Her Doctor; Philip Channard (played with sneering glee by Kenneth Cranham) is secretly obsessed with the occult, and so uses the information learnt from Kirsty to get his hands on a blood soaked mattress that Kirstys step-mum Julia died on in Hellraiser. Using mental patients as sacrifices he brings Julia back from Hell, and then uses the aid of a mute puzzle solving patient (young actress Imogen Boorman) to solve a puzzle box (the Dr has three of the blasted things) so that the good Dr can see Hell himself. Kirsty meanwhile has had a vision of her Dad in Hell and is determined to go there to rescue him, so the whole bunch all go on a field trip.

The plot in this film is utterly bonkers, I'm surprised the film doesn't collapse under the plot holes that at times threaten to drown everything. For a start, and just a minor one; at the end of Hellraiser Kirsty's Dads house burnt and collapsed to the ground, yet here the house is not just intact but in perfect condition. For half the film things progress pretty well but it seems the second the characters go to Hell all semblance of a plot falls away to create a series of unrelated set pieces. Dr Channard turns into a literal one liner spouting machine 'The Dr is in the house!', 'I'm closing your file!', 'I recommend...amputation!' ugh, awful. Julia in the first film couldn't be evil all the time as she had to pretend to be a good wife, here she is given free reign to ham up her lines which the actress Claire Higgins does amazingly.

Hell is quite a boring place, it resembles a location from the kids film Labyrinth with loads of grey corridors, and M.C. Escher style walkways, where is all the pain and suffering that made Frank so scared of returning? To return to plot again, apparently they wanted to get Andrew Robinson to reprise his role as Kirsty's Dad, but he refused leading to a lot of scenes being re-written which maybe accounts for the random nature of events.

But what about the stars? What about the Cenobites? They get caught up in sequel-itus, as they were so loved in the first film they are turned into good guys here, and manage to do even less then they did in Hellraiser in the process. It being revealed that Pinhead was once human had a big impact on the following Hellraiser films I admit, and is well done (his ace transformation being the opening sequence of Hellbound) but Pinhead as a good guy? Not a great move.

I have to say the film is terrible, but it is also fun to watch, a Hell of a lot of fun to watch, I may score it low but it is worth seeing if you want a film where you can joyfully shout abuse at all the inconsistencies. Don't get me wrong, this is certainly not a boring film, just a slap in the face to the straight nature of Hellraiser.

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Hellraiser - Horror Film Review

2011-10-05T01:30:00.000-07:00

For this Halloween month of October I have set myself a horror challenge, my challenge is not too hard, it is to watch all 8 of the current Hellraiser films. Turns out this is quite fitting as Hellraiser: Revelations; the ninth in the series is to be released on DVD on October 18th. By all accounts Hellraiser 9 is utter rubbish, and is the first not to have Doug Bradley in it.

Hellraiser is based on the Clive Barker novella 'The Hellbound Heart' and apart from a few key differences is the same story. A thrill seeking man (Frank) gets a hold of a puzzle box said to open a gateway to unimaginable pleasures, after opening it he is promptly destroyed by a group of demons called Cenobites. Franks brother Larry moves into their childhood home with his unhappy wife Julia. Accidentally blood is dripped onto the floor of the attic which just so happens to be where Frank opened the cursed box. This resurrects Frank in a zombie form, he convinces Julia (who is obsessed with him) to get him victims so he can drink their blood and become fully human again. Larry's daughter Kirsty (Ashley Laurence) discovers this and manages to get a hold of the puzzle box and unknowingly opens it. This summons the Cenobites who want both Kirstys and Franks souls to take back to Hell.

Yeah, so pretty much the whole plot was discussed there, but the film is a classic, everyone has seen it surely? Unlike the rest of the films in the series this one is far more haunting, and does not focus on the Cenobites. Most the film follows the relationship between Frank and Julia, flashbacks show the passion Julia has for Frank and explains why she is so willing to turn to murder to help him. Relationships seem to be a big part of this film with that between Father and Daughter, Husband and Wife, and the muted love story between Kirsty and her friend Steve.

As a heroine Laurence plays the role well, looking both suitably scared, but determined to do what needs to be done. She's not bad looking apart from the awful 80's fashion sense that haunts the film and her. The true icon of the piece is of course the iconic Pinhead (played expertly by Doug Bradley). The Cenobites lack of screen time only makes them more effective and creepy, Pinhead is the Cenobites voice, and what a great voice it is; 'We will tear your soul apart!' what an iconic line.

The films plot is good, but the film seems to fall apart a bit towards the end (quite literally actually) when Kirsty is chased around her Dad's house by monsters who don't really seem able to do anything apart from stand still and look creepy. When I first saw this film I didn't like it too much, it was depressing, and the character of Larry (played by Andrew Robinson) reminded me a lot of WWE owner Vince McMahon. However watching it for review I was surprised how into it I got, it really is a classic, it cannot be denied. Sure the special effects can be a bit dodgy (the flesh ripping sequences look uber fake, and in one scene you can see a charging monster actually being pushed on a trolley by a crew member) but the Cenobites look amazing. One of the best Hellraisers and essential viewing for any horror fan.

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Garth Marenghi's Darkplace - Horror Comedy Show Review (DVD)

2011-10-04T04:35:00.000-07:00

I love this show, and have long wanted to spread the word about it's brilliance. After watching through all 6 episodes again yesterday I thought it was prime time to review.

You may notice that halfway through the review the text size changes, this is because BT who I have my Internet with are useless and I had to hurriedly cut and paste a load of text to Word after my Internet connection cut out. Unfortunately Blogger hates having text copied into it from Word so leads to all the mistakes seen here which are beyond my ability to fix.

From the best selling master of darkness Garth Marenghi comes a re-released edition of his seminal 1980's horror show 'Darkplace'. Darkplace takes place in Darkplace Hospital at Romford. A gateway to Hell has opened beneath the Hospital, and so each episode a different evil must be dealt with by the only man who can; Dr. Rick Dagless M.D (Garth Marenghi). Dagless is joined in his fight by his best friend Dr. Lucien Sanchez (Todd Rivers), his hard ass boss Thornton Read (Dean Learner) and woman Dr. Liz Asher (Madeline Wool).

Unfortunately the show was cancelled before any episodes where ever shown but here on this DVD 6 episodes have been saved together with interviews with some of the original cast members to bring the ultimate Darkplace experience as well as a host of extras such as a small booklet, lost scenes, interviews, retrospectives and more.

Of course none of the above is actually true, the show was created in the early 2000's by Matthew Holness (Marenghi/Dagless) and Richard Ayodade (Learner/Reed) and is a parody of bad 80's shows. The whole thing is played straight faced with a plethora of terrible special effects, wooden acting, bad filming, sound issues, dubbing and stand ins that make the shows hilarious to watch. This is helped massively by the modern day interviews with the cast that inter cut the show, the actors and Marenghi all convinced of the shows power to terrify and astound even now. This contrast between purposely terrible show and straight faced opinions on the power the show still has today fuse together for utter hilarity.

There are six episodes on offer, by far the best two are 'Hell Hath Fury' (about telekinetic powers), and 'Scotch Mist' (the controversial racist episode about an evil Scottish mist) and are ones I watch over and over. There is not a bad episode on offer here, each have their high pointssuch as the crazy slow mo fight sequence in 'Skipper the Eye Child' forinstance. Even knowing the whole thing is a hoax it is still hardsometimes to remember this as everything on the DVD is done so po-faced. Even the episode commentaries are done in character by the (actual)actors.

The problems I had with this are not real problems at all andcomes from some of the cast who are well known for comedy and so take you outthe hoax. Ayodale is best known as Moss from the I.T Crowd, while MattBerry (Rivers/Sanchez), Julian Barratt, and Noel Fielding from The Mighty Boosh also appear. The show feels so authentic, and apart from a scene too ridiculous (a chase sequence in the episode The Apes of Wrath) all works really well. Special mention must be made to the amazing soundtrack, all synths and creeping horror tunes that really embody the 80's

The show is hilarious, and whilst a bit dark is very re watchable, horror comedy done well.

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Devil Blood - Horror Videogame Review (X-Box Indie)

2011-10-03T03:47:00.000-07:00

There is a never ending stream of horror themed videogames being vomited out of the Indie games section of the 360 Dashboard. Sometimes I worry that this blog will just change into something dedicated to just reviewing a conveyor belt of terrible games, as the pile of Indie games I have to test is constantly growing. On the plus side Devil Blood has no zombies in it, a nice refreshing change, also the game is an FPS which is also a nice change from the twin stick shooters that stuff the channel.

You play as a nameless man who is on the trail of a powerful Demon. Apparently you are too weak to beat him and must collect Demon souls. You do this by exploring what I assume is Hell, it is certainly very red. Red corridors, very Doom like.

This game is frustrating, boring and far too red. Enemies consist of red floating Demon heads which you must shoot with your red gun. The problem is the enemies are ghost like and damage you by flying through you. Their speed and the way they keep going back and forth through you until you die is ultra frustrating. Your only punishment for death is to start at the beginning of the level again but this involves a tedious walk through long red corridors before again being assaulted by the hordes. There is no option to invert the aiming, so I struggled with attacking anything, due to being somehow only able to play FPS games if aiming is inverted.

Your weapons are various red weapons that glow with a red sheen. They fire some sort of red projectile that the demons don't seem to mind, it seemingly has no impact on them, occasionally one will just vanish from existence. Going for this game is the sound. No music but it has an atmospheric background noise of blowing wind, and wind chimes. This game is a prime example of why there are not more FPS games on the Indie channel, maybe twin stick shooters really are the way to go.

The game is set in Hell, quite fitting when it is Hell to play.

SCORE:

Okami - Fantasy Videogame Review (PS2)

2011-10-02T06:47:00.000-07:00

Okami got much acclaim when it was released. It follows the Zelda template pretty much to the core with an over world map, dungeons, and gaining new abilities as you progress. This game is far more story orientated though, something I have always felt the Zelda games do a poor job at.

Okami starts with a tale about a 8 headed snake Demon who for 100 years demanded sacrifices from a local village. He was finally stopped when Nagi; a warrior from the village slayed the beast with the help of a mysterious white wolf which was killed during the battle. 100 years later the game starts. The world has entered a new dark age with Demons turning up in vast numbers. Worse, it seems the Demon slain previously (Orochi) has been reborn after the sword used to defeat it was stolen from it's shrine at the Orochi's previous home. A wood sprite, and guardian of Kamiki village resurrects the white wolf who turns out is actually a God; the Sun Goddess Amaterasu (the character you play as). Ammy (joined by a small bug type man called Issun) are tasked to remove the curse covering the land by locating the 13 Celestial Brush Strokes and defeating the Demons plaguing the world.

The game has a very unique visual style, resembling Japanese art, the game looks like a large water colour with stylised characters. Apart from attacking physically you also use powers of a celestial brush. With a button press this is initiated and sees you literally drawing on the screen with a brush. As you progress new abilities are opened up. By drawing a line through an enemy you slash them, a circle with a line coming out of it turns into a bomb, while linking lines from water, fire, lightning etc to an object or person makes that element affect them. For instance drawing a line from a flaming torch to a block of ice will melt the ice. These abilities come in handy for negotiating the many dungeons, such as using the wind ability to create platforms out of blowing wall scrolls, and using the slow time ability to slow down the movement of giant cogs.

The enemies take their influence from Japanese mythology, the demons wear masks with scary faces, have scrolls with Japanese text on them, and are very much imbued with Japanese mythology. Several of the story points in the game are actually completely modelled off famous Japanese myths. Boss fights appear quite frequently but some boss fights are repeated far far too often with fun fights turning into bouts of tedium after the first few times.

The games dungeons are many and varied ranging from the inside of a Sea Dragon to a pirate ship, giant windmill, and an Emperors garden (whilst shrunk). Locations are also varied but all feel like they are in the same area the games set in, ranging from the bottom of the Ocean, to snowy mountains and lakes.

Now here is the thing; I wrote the review up to this point a few weeks back, even at the time I thought it was not my best piece of work, so for the sake of anyone who is reading this I will save your sanity by ending here. To sum it up Okami is a unique looking Zelda clone that is fun, pretty, full of story and quite long. Well worth playing!

SCORE:

Five Senses #0 - Horror Comic Review

2011-10-01T05:34:00.000-07:00

Five Senses is a new digital comic from Viper Comics. I was not sure what to expect really, I haven't read any decent horror comics for ages (hence the sparse coverage of horror comics on this site), but luckily Five Senses #0 was a great read and a perfect introduction to the series. The comic can be found on the digital comic sites iVerse, Graphicly and Comixology.

Rather than give my own plot synopsis I will use the one the comic provides:

'Chad Bowman was on the verge of having it all. But when he fails to come forward as a witness to a brutal murder, his life changes overnight. Soon, Chad discovers someone or something is after him. Now, Chad must stay alive long enough to prove he isn't the real killer and stop the mysterious entity from stripping him of his FIVE SENSES.'

The main character of the piece is not very likable. Chad Bowman is an arrogant and selfish womaniser. After he witnesses the murder of a young woman he lies to the Police in order to get to an important business meeting. It will be interesting to see if he is being hounded by evil due to his having witnessed the murder, or if it is due to his self centred attitude that is causing karma to catch up with him. Either way, as a cautionary tale it works well.

It seems throughout the series Bowman is going to be deprived of his 5 senses (hence the title), I don't know how this is going to impact on the story but will be interesting to see. There was a real vibe of the videogame Heavy Rain with someone trying to prove their innocence whilst being hunted by the authorities, whilst the creepy dolls Bowman keeps getting 'gifted' reminded me a lot of the Saw franchise.

The art work fits the tone of the story well, Justin Wayne's character art verging on the realistic, giving believability to the world, as well as a slightly sinister edge. All in all this was an ace first issue that has left me wanting to know what happens next. I must also urge you to watch the fantastic fake trailer put together to spread the word about the series, it can be found at http://www.iamsenseless.com/.

SCORE:

Blogger Zombie Walk 2011 Special - The people you need, and the people you don't need with you in the event of Zombie Armageddon

2011-09-30T04:48:00.000-07:00

Welcome weary travellers to the home of The Rotting Zombie. Hope you are part of the Blogger Zombie Walk 2011 and if you are not then welcome anyway. Mainly a place of horror videogame and film reviews I am branching out to offer you my knowledge gained from watching/playing such things.

We all know the Zombie Apocalypse is coming, foretold by both the Mayans, Nostradamus and Pat Sharpe. The people you band up with during that crucial point in human history will determine whether you live or die (or un-die I guess). To help you on your way I have drawn up a list of people you should seek out, and people you should hope are already zombified when the time comes.

First off here are Top 10 of the types of people you really could do with in your unhappy little band of survivors...

10. Forrest Griffin

Not only is Mr Griffin quite a good UFC fighter (Ultimate Fighting Championship) but he has actually already wrote a book on how to survive an apocalypse ('Be Ready When The Sh*t Goes Down'). I have not read the book but I imagine it involves Forrest generally kicking post Armageddon butt. He may be a bit too hard to control with all his strength, but what a sight his final stand would be as he beats the living daylights out of a horde of brain thirsty zombies!

9. Chef

At the best of times I want to chew off my own feet at the mere thought of doing my own cooking. Having travelled the globe I am certain in the knowledge that I am the world's worst cook, every single meal I have ever cooked has made me feel sick and craving anything to get the taste out of my mouth. In a zombie apocalypse food will be harder to come by, tinned goods will probably be the height of fashion. A Chef with his collection of herbs and spices should be able to make even the blandest meal of tinned spaghetti into a meal fit for zombie surviving Gods.

8. Helicopter Pilot

I know Helicopters are not exactly in abundance, here in Blighty I rarely ever see one. Judging from media though they are quite handy in getting to places without the hassle of swarms of ghouls clawing at you and burnt out cars blocking your path. If I did get my hands on a Copter I would not have a clue what to do with it, I have nightmarish visions of me ploughing it down a street on its side, sparks flying everywhere. In case of such an event it would be cool to have my very own Fly Boy to fly the thing. While it cannot hold too many people it could be used to fly to shopping centre rooftops where a barricaded life of luxury could be had.

7. Nurse/Paramedic

With the NHS gone there will be an absence of response to any emergency numbers called, even the slightest injury could devolve into a life changing event. I don't know about you but if I banged my thumb while boarding up some windows I would appreciate a health specialist to stick a plaster on it. More serious injuries such as crashes, falls, setting yourself alight etc would really need medical know how that a first aid book would not be too forth coming with. Therefore some well trained, experienced health care specialist would be indeed a useful resource.

6. Handyman

Regardless of where you end up in your own personal apocalypse there is bound to be some frantic barricading needing to be done. I have seen far too many situations where hastily boarded up doors and windows are easily broken down by attacking freaks of nature. I remember being in Leon Kennedy's shoes pushing bookcases and cupboards against doors only for them to be destroyed minutes later. A Handyman would be able to not only organise us into useful teams but he could also instruct on how best to secure the places, as well as build us some nice furniture for when the chaos dies down.

5. Person immune to the virus

There is always going to be some people who are immune to any cause of zombiefication. It would be wise to enlist at least one immune into your group. If you are barricaded into your mansion/church/cinema etc and food supplies are running low then who better to send off on an errand then the immune kid? They might moan about being bitten, and they might complain about the possibility of their brains getting eaten but they are a useful commodity. Of course they should not be allowed to mingle with your group for the very obvious reason that they may certainly be carrying the zombie virus so should be locked up/kept in a shed when not out on errands.

4. Scientist

The chances of a cure being found by studying zombies is very very slight, but under controlled conditions, and a suitable lab space tissue and blood samples of the undead could be studied. On no account should actual zombies be brought in for testing as that never goes down well. Your Scientist could also develop cool new weapons for your group to use like electric firing guns and plasma rifles as well as create robots for you to send out to dispatch your rotting nemeses.

3. Soldier

Soldiers are trained to fight, they know how to use firearms (a skill quite lacking in Britain) and they know how to defend an area. They also follow and give orders well and with their discipline are unlikely to flee at the first sign of danger. One with an expertise in communication could get radios up and running while engineers could work generators, and of course vehicle specialists would be handy also. A soldier with a tank would be very useful for a slow but sure escape from almost any zombie-centric situation.

2. Survivalist

Near the top of my list for many reasons. They would know how to survive and would be ready to adapt to any situation. Lost in the woods (Blair Witch style) they would be able to track animals and find food and most importantly escape the woods. In an urban area I would hope they had their own underground bunker stocked with food and ready for use. An ideal survivalist would have a vast underground bunker built over many years due to their healthy dose of paranoia. I would love to last out the apocalypse in a secure bunker, safe from harm from any darn zombies.

1. Me

I intend to survive the apocalypse. If it turns out you have the nine already listed in your team then you should get in contact with me. I am pretty average, but I promise I wont be any trouble! I have no qualms dispatching previous loved ones turned zombies (possibly), am used to living on a basic diet, and follow orders well. For all your zombie survival needs contact me at therottingzombie@hotmail.co.uk!

So they are the top people I would want for my group. All have their uses and would ensure at least a longer survival than most. Of course if the zombie apocalypse was via demonic means then eventually everyone would be killed no matter where they hid but hopefully it will be a virus, or radiation from a returning space probe that starts it all off. For every Ying there is a Yang, and so I also have a top 10 people I would most definitely not want to be stuck with for my zombie Armageddon...

10. Clown

Many people are scared of clowns, I personally don't mind them, the few I have seen in the wild have been quite funny. But if Dead Rising is anything to go by then the apocalypse will turn any and all clowns into chainsaw juggling, fire breathing mad men intent on destruction and carnage.

9. Old Person

It might sound harsh not wanting any old people in my group but to be blunt they would be more trouble then they are worth (unless they are some type of sage or martial arts expert). They would not be able to help much, they would slow the group down if we were on the move, and they would complain about how zombie apocalypses were so much better in their days.

8. Pregnant Woman

Pregnant people are very dangerous to have around, years of watching zombie flicks and reading books has hammered this fact in. If a pregnant lady gets turned then without a doubt her partner will defend his zombie mistress with his life, putting everyone at risk with his madness. If the pregnant lady should come to term and have a zombie baby then she will go crazy and put everyone at risk defending her undead child from harm. If she should have a child and it is all fine then that is dandy...but it is very unlikely to happen that way, she may even decide the worlds too miserable a place for her child to live in and let in the undead to feast (obviously again not a good thing).

7. Criminal

Sometimes it can be good to have a criminal with you, their skills (depending on crime) could help you to gain access to locked up buildings, help you fight the zombie threat, or even be a good leader. But what if you end up with a serial killer, or psychotic rampager? Sure they will get kicks out of tormenting the undead, but sooner or later they will get bored and decide live humans are far more fun to play with.

6. Religious Guy

The dead walking will make many devoutly religious people see the end times, when revelation occurs. Their faith will cause them to strike down the unholy, while their devotion to the Lord will make them assured of their own salvation and much like the Preacher in War of the Worlds they will attempt to banish the zombies with prayer. Maybe if the outbreak is demonic this would work? I for one don't intend to last out the death of humanity sitting in some crummy basement somewhere praying for salvation, nor be lectured to incessantly by some mad priest and his tales of fire and brimstone.

5. Someone with suspicious wounds

While it can seem ultra harsh to refuse entry to a fellow human desperate times call for desperate measures. Sure that patch of missing flesh on the arm could be from 'tripping over' but it could also be from a zombie with sharp teeth. Do you really want to play good Samaritan only to have your kindness repaid by a bite to the brain? If you really feel that much kindness to your new pal then at least make them stay separate from the rest of the group until you feel a fair amount of time has passed. If the person with the suspicious bite wound is known to you then make your own judgement, I myself don't think I would be able to turn away a family member or friend from seeking shelter even if they had a zombie clamped to their ankle. Don't wimp out like me, be a survivor!

4. Evil Scientist

Unlike the normal Scientist the evil one would demand live zombies to experiment on, as well as human test subjects to use. This would put the base at risk as it is likely that either the captured zombies will escape, or the Scientist will die and his prized subject will use his new found zombie intelligence to get revenge. Either way chaos will happen. For a good example of this I recommend the amazing fly on the wall documentary 'Day of the Dead' that documents what happened to a group of military and scientists during the brief 1980's zombie outbreak in America.

3. Biker

On the plus side they are trigger happy, unfortunately they are also wild, drunk, and reckless; all things that would put your group at risk. Post Armageddon Bikers do not care who they shoot whether it be zombie or human, while during any emergency they would be too busy playing with 'Test your Strength' machines to actually fight. In zombie films these types of people are usually bad guys, or at the very least herald in waves of zombies following in their chaotic wake.

2. Zombie Bloggers

The problem with bloggers about zombie apocalypses is that they all have plans of survival already formulated. All the 'I told you zombies where going to rise up! I was right! I am so god damn good!!' would get tiring quickly. There is no quicker way to get into an argument then discuss zombie survival plans, this I have learned from experience, so to have a self righteous know it all bullishly dictating the best course of action to a group of stressed, traumatised survivors would lead to disaster. I of course am the exception to this rule, but only because my zombie survival plan is perfect, just like me!

1. Annoying Person

Think of the most annoying person you know, now imagine ending up stuck with them during a zombie apocalypse. Enough said really.

Well that is it, thanks for sticking by, I know these lists are plenty, hopefully this one was not too boring. What started off as a quick easy post turned into a bit of an odyssey. Feel free to visit again, and if you are on the Zombie Blogger walk then carry on walking.

Ghost Hunting Theories
Above the Norm: Bizarre Arizona
Zombies Everywhere
Holly's Horrorland
Little Gothic Horrors
Anything Horror
Katy Bennett Horror Writer and Poet
Bubba's Place
Horror Smorgasbord
Gnostalgia
Monkey Man
Words and Music
Red Shoes Chronicles
The Wolf's Eyes
My Day in a Sentence
Pixie's Horror Galore
Strange State
The Misadventures of HalloweeNut
Halloween Blues
Kweeny Todd
The California Blogging Massacre
Horror Shock Lolipop
Vanessa Morgan
Improbable Frontiers
No Really, You Can Eat It
Art By Living Dead Girl Nicole
Two Gory Chicks
A Dust Bunny in the Wind
A Ghoul's Best Friend
Zombies Are Magic
Cherry Neko Saves the World
Tall Tales
At the Mansion of Madness
The Haunted Rose
The Rotting Zombie
Halloween Overkill
Out of the Shadows
Creepy Glow Keyhole Gallery
Creepy Glowbugg
Bifocal Univision
Haiku-Koo-Koo
Sherry Soule
Anchors and Roses
Paranormal Researchers Group
Whispering Pines History
Lovely Miss Megs
Sean Thomas Fisher's Blogwash
Rise and Fight
Stump Town Horror
LoliClown's Little Blog of Horror
Zombies Can't Love
Books and Beyond
The Grave Bandits
Screaming Goregasms
Lazy Daisy Life
Icky Monster
Pretty in Fiction
Ivy's Closet
Justine's Halloween
Annie Walls
Just Johnny

Hysteria Project - Horror Videogame Review (PS3 Mini)

2011-09-25T06:04:00.000-07:00

Hysteria is a fully FMV (full motion video) experience, I picked it up as it was cheap on the PSN store. It sounded kind of interesting.

In Hysteria you are a man who awakes tied up with duct tape in a shed. Managing to escape your bonds you leave the shed to discover you are in the middle of a wood. While running away you become pursued by a strange hooded man wielding an axe. The woods are maze like, and there are explosive trip wires set up. You keep getting strange flashbacks as well as hallucinating a H symbol that appears everywhere.

The game is different, being as it is one long video clip where you occasionally get to make decisions such as what route to take, or if to hide or run. In these situations there is usually only a right or wrong choice, it being game over if you choose wrong. Sometimes button prompts will turn up on screen, you must complete these button presses in time or you will be killed (such as stealthily moving through the wood, or trying to get an explosive device out of a pile of leaves).

The game is only about 15 minutes in total, much of this devoted to you character running along small woodland paths. It never really feels like you have much impact on events, but the first person perspective is kinda neat. The hooded figure chasing you is able to warp around, but is quite useless at catching you as even if he is right behind you, you have time to hide behind a log or tree without him noticing.

The game ends with you arriving at an urban environment and then promptly fades to black saying 'to be continued'. It is something different and despite the low budget did get my flesh crawling sometimes when the mad hooded man appears.

If you are after something different then try this out, but be warned it is very short, and there is zero replay value.

SCORE:

Zombie Dream - 23/09/2011

2011-09-24T04:42:00.000-07:00

If my post yesterday about my zombie dream seemed like a cheap update then god knows what you are going to make of a 2nd zombie dream post. Yet again last night in my dreams I dreamt of zombies. Maybe it is a return to dreaming about those creatures every night?

I was not actually in my dream, instead the dream I had was a film I was watching, and which I knew I had watched before. It really is not a real film though (as it's kinda lame!). A group of friends where out in a Country Village by an old pub. One of the friends summons a bunch of zombies including two twin zombies that kinda resemble Michael Jackson. He tells his friends that he can control the zombies and starts some Thriller style dancing with them. A Werewolf appears and starts chasing two girls from the group across some fields, back lit by a giant full moon. The girls loose the Werewolf and stumble upon a graveyard where two grave robbers are creating life. Lightning flashes in the sky and strikes a tombstone. Out of a grave bursts the Bride of Frankenstein shouting "I Live!" one of the girls says "no you don't" and lops off the monsters head with a spade she's carrying. That's all I recall about the dream, though the me watching the film in my dream knew that dispite its silliness the film got much more violent and frightening later on with the group of friends all being killed.

I had a cheese sandwich before bed, maybe that is why I had a weird dream? I recognise elements from a lot of horror films in there, so maybe I had been thinking of films before I fell asleep. A friend told me about a supposedly amazing zombie film called The Dead coming out on DVD and Blu-ray in October yesterday evening so that could account for the zombies.

Zombie Dream - 22/09/2011

2011-09-23T06:28:00.000-07:00

This is going to be quite a shot meaningless post but I felt it prudent to mention that I had one of my fabled zombie dreams last night. Once upon a time I used to have at least one of these a week. I can't actually recall much of this dream but will say what I do recall.

It was zombie Armageddon time and I was holed up in some large building with other survivors. The building was under attack by thousands of zombies, all of which had bright blue Smurf coloured skin. One of the survivors had the idea of cooking zombies as a means of not starving to death. This seemed a great idea until someone said that surely zombies are rotten, so any meat off of them would be spoilt.

That's all I can remember but it was good to get a zombie dream again!

Plants VS. Zombies - Zombie Videogame Review (X-Box 360)

2011-09-20T07:42:00.000-07:00

While billed as a puzzler Plants VS. Zombies is actually far more of a tower defence game. It is made by Popcap who deal in addictive, cheap, cheerful and mass market games.

For reasons unknown your house has been chosen for invasion by a group of polite zombies (they send you letters in advance to tell you their plans) who want to eat your brains. You must defend your property by planting various plants with special attributes who are able to repel the attacking hordes. The game is split into 5 different levels each made up of about 8 stages. Your front garden is attacked by day and then night, then your back garden is attacked by day and night, finally the zombies bring the fight to your roof top.

Popcap really know how to make addictive games and this is no exception. Levels begin with you needing to plant sunflowers to create sunlight orbs. Your plants require sunlight orbs to be able to grow, each plant type requiring a different amount of orbs ranging from 0 to 300. Plant types vary with many many different types (though you can at first only have 6 types at a time). Chilli's burn up any enemies in its row, Cherries act as bombs while Peashooters fire out peas, Wall-Nuts create barricades to stop the zombies while Chompers eat zombies. Night time sees a whole host of different items for use focusing on mushrooms such as the Puff-Shroom (that requires no sunlight orbs) and the Fume-Shroom which fires out spores capable of destroying enemy shields.

There is a large number of zombie types in the game. Normal zombies come in a variety of styles, some have buckets on their heads, while others have traffic cones offering protection. Along with these are lots of sporty zombies such as the pole vaulter who can jump over barricades, and the American Football zombie who runs. Certain types can be defeated easier with the right plants in your set. Ballooning zombies can be blown away, zombies in vehicles can have their tyres blown out while zombies on pogo sticks can have their stick magneted away. By the games end you get some truly punishing zombies thrown at you.

Before each level you get to see what type of zombies are going to be used so you can plan accordingly, you can also visit the shop (your crazy next door neighbours car) where new plant types can be brought as well as upgrades that let you select more plants to take into battle. As well as the main adventure mode there are puzzle modes, endless mode, and mini games.

Breaking up each level is a stage or two of mini games. These range from bowling to conveyor belt stages (where your plants are determined via a ever rolling belt). Plants VS. Zombies is not a hard game, I never once failed a level, the addictiveness of the game is what keeps you playing. Even after the games completion there are still the other modes to try out, and even now I can feel the call of the game. Damn you Popcap! Cartoon violence; I mean zombies do get decapitated and loose limbs but its all bright and cheerful.

Not your typical zombie game, recommended though if you have plenty of free time.

SCORE:

Sega Superstar Tennis - Zombie Appearance

2011-09-18T04:29:00.000-07:00

Playing Sega Superstar Tennis recently I was reminded that one of the courts is set in the grounds of the Mansion from Sega's House of the Dead game.

A lot of stages in the game set you challenges, such as collecting gold rings on Sonic's court. The House of the Dead court has you fighting zombies via tennis balls. Hitting the zombies cause them to fall over, should you get swamped then the challenge is over. There are large, small and medium sized ones. Either side of the court are stone gargoyles who spit tennis balls at you to use. Some challenges see you needing to rescue scientists who run across the court, while others see the zombies armed with tennis rackets which they throw at you.

Quite a cool court in the game and features some select tracks from House of the Dead (a game I have sadly never got to play properly).

Zombie Wranglers - Zombie Videogame Review (XBLA)

2011-09-17T07:12:00.000-07:00

Long, long ago I downloaded Zombie Wranglers, back in the days when a mere mention of zombies in the title would warrant an immediate purchase. I remember playing a few levels of it, hating it and abandoning it. Now several years later I have returned, and returned in style completing the whole game in one play through.

Zombie Wranglers takes place in a cartoony world like that of a kids cartoon. You play as one of 4 children who have somehow been employed by a Government agency as a zombie wrangler. Your job is to infiltrate cordoned off zombie zones and defeat the zombies there by either killing them or wrangling them (sucking them up into some sort of big vacuum). You seem to work for your Mum as at the end of each level you get a phone call on your mobile where she tells you where to go next.

The games premise seems quite cruel to be frank, each stage is in a blocked off area (such as a street, car park, camp) with police and SWAT lazily watching from behind the barricades as you do your thing. I don't know if in this nightmare world children are immune to zombie bites but it seems a clear breach of child laws (your character even says this himself at one point). Obviously it is not really a nightmare vision of the world, more as I said before a Saturday morning cartoon style place where it is up to the 'cool' kids to sort out all the trouble.

Levels for the most part see you in an area with a check list of objectives to complete such as collecting special items and killing certain types of zombies. Every now and again this will be interrupted by an area where your goal is just to survive until the time limit has ended, this is not as exciting as it sounds though and just involves running around in large circles for 5 minutes. There is a range of zombies to battle; skater, tramp, armoured, puking, headless, and Knight zombies are just some of the types you will fight. Some must have their armour knocked off before they can be dispatched while others can only be wrangled. A few bosses litter the game, for the most part being rolling balls of zombies (like the critter balls in Critter 2) and giant Frankenstein Monster enemies.

The game is very colourful and reminded me a lot of the art style of Costume Quest. The dialogue is not great and you can tell the writers thought their dialogue was really hilarious which is a bit embarrassing. Levels are named after films but with a bad zombie twist such as the rib tickling 'Zombies in Black' and 'Gone with the Zombies'. The game is a few hours long and never really gets too boring despite its ease. The achievements in this game are ultra annoying as they seem to be worth random numbers (such as 42 achievement points for completing the game). A lot of the achievements involve collecting hidden items in the levels. After all the objectives are achieved the zombies all vanish leaving you ample time to search out these items.

Geared more towards children this zombie game is bright, easy, and lacking violence (zombies just sort of fade away when killed, and your mouth activated weapon shoots some sort of purple goo) but it was entertaining enough to keep me occupied to its end.

SCORE:

BloodRayne: Betrayal - Horror Videogame Demo (X-Box 360)

2011-09-16T11:30:00.000-07:00

I must say this demo has really whetted my appetite for this game. The music, setting (what appeared to be the outskirts of a huge castle on the eve of a giant full moon) and action all reminded me heavily of Castlevania games of old. Replace the red haired vampire woman (well half vampire) and it could easily pass for a new entry.

The game has a lush cartoony art style like anime, enemies spill blood plentifully, and you can cause head decapitations, and bodies ripping in half. Your character is armed with twin blades, as well as a gun with limited ammo. The demo is limited to nearly two levels. Both have you walking from left to right fighting mostly blonde haired vampire men armed with swords and guns. Many times you will be unable to progress until all the enemies have been dispatched on screen.

Objects in the game world both help and hinder you. There are exploding barrels, as well as ones that can be tipped over and rolled. UV lights drain your health so must be avoided or destroyed. Along for the ride are human allies who provide conversation speech bubbles as you pass them.

The demo ends with the start of a boss fight against a giant robotic animal. The game looks beautiful and if it offers enough variety I can see it being a very good game. Definitely worth a download.

Fright Night 3D - Horror Film Review

2011-09-15T14:20:00.001-07:00

I caught the very last showing of Fright Night 3D today at the Cinema, I was not that bothered about seeing it due to three things. Firstly the trailer for the film was awful, I don't know why but trailers for horrors all seem terrible lately and do more to put me off seeing the films than anything else. Secondly the film is a remake of the eighties cult classic of the same name, many remakes are unfortunately not very good. Thirdly the film has a 3D slapped on the end of the title, while I think horror makes the best use of 3D it still does tend to be used for cheap thrills.

Fright Night takes place in and around Las Vegas, mostly centered on a small suburb out in the desert. High School student Charley Brewster (Anton Yelchin) is told by his ex best friend geeky Ed (Kick Ass's Christopher Mintz-Plasse) that his new next door neighbour Jerry (Colin Farrell) is actually a vampire who has been responsible for a number of disappearances in the area. Charley dismisses this news as rubbish convinced his ex friend is just trying to get attention after he was ditched when Charley reinvented himself to get in with the cool crowd. This changes when Ed goes missing and an encounter with Jerry convinces him that his old friend was right. With no one to help Charley must find a way to defeat the centuries old vampire while protecting his mother Jane, and girlfriend Amy (28 Week's Laters Imogen Poots) from harm.

I have seen the original Fright Night, though a long time ago so my memory of it is quite hazy. I recall a scene in a nightclub but that's about it, should re watch it some day. Fright Night 3D is actually quite a cool film. Films like this can be swamped with obnoxious 'cool' kids but thankfully the ones in this film are soon killed off. I was worried that the film would be quite tame on the old ultra violence but luckily there is lots of blood and some fun action. For the most part the blood flies into the audience (via the dubious magic of 3D) but it looks quite ace.

The film centres on the battle of wits between Charley and Jerry, their feud take place in a variety of locations including a fast paced highway chase that starts with a motorbike being hurled through the back window of the car Charley, his girlfriend and Mum are escaping in and from that point events ramp up. Farrell is great as the vampire, coming across as more serial killer than monster with his wardrobe of disguises, and secret Hostel style torture rooms hidden in his house. His transformation makes him look really odd and disquieting as the fangs that grow in his mouth give his whole head a strange creepy shape. The usual tropes work on him such as holy water, sunlight, fire, stakes and by the end of the film all these methods have been used with good special effects on display. A memorable scene midway through the film has Jerry jerking stop motion style around the ground with a signpost jammed through him, while a later amputation is painful to see but kinda funny.

Yelchin as Charley is ok but it is the supporting cast that really help out. Slightly comedic vampire hunter/Las Vegas performer Peter Vincent (Dr Who's David Tennant) definitely upstages him though his mannerisms and look reminded me heavily of Russell Brand. The film at just over an hour and a half never gets stale and is pretty much one big action fest from the moment Jerry and Charley twig onto each other. Thankfully no sex scenes or nudity and is all the better for it. Fright Night 3D is infused with humour which is actually not that bad, a few cultural references to Twilight but otherwise the jokes are universal. Due to the humour the film is not actually scary, apart from a few jump scares, I believe this could have worked as a serious piece of horror, Farrell is certainly unsettling enough in his calm confidence but as a comedy horror it brings excitement, set pieces, good effects and a good use of 3D to really immerse you in the experience.

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GET TO THA CHOPPA!!1 - Zombie Videogame Review (X-Box Indie)

2011-09-14T09:11:00.000-07:00

As the sequel to this game has recently come out (GET TO THA CHOPPA TWOOO!!2) I thought it was about time I played the original. The title is of course taken from Predator from the infamous line Schwarzenegger shouts. The game is in a similar style to Canabalt in that you control a perpetually running guy and must use basic commands to make him avoid the various obstacles in his path.

You play as a man in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. You are running down a road chased by hundreds of thousands of running zombies. Dotted on the road are land mines which you must jump over, stray zombies who must be shot and, flying in front of you is a helicopter which periodically fires missiles at the throng behind you (you have to slide under these).

As far as I can tell it is actually impossible to complete this game, as time goes on everything gets faster and faster. Around the 100,000 points mark the music fades away to be replaced with a heart beat but I never survived much past this. The music is some sort of high paced trance that does its job but is quite forgettable. There are 3 buttons you need to use, but you can hold down the fire button meaning all you really need to do is press A and down on the analogue stick. Quite an addictive game and for 80 Microsoft points as cheap as can be. The hand drawn art style won't appeal to some and the game could have done with more variety.

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1408 - Horror Film Review

2011-09-12T05:59:00.000-07:00

I recently read the short story 1408 by Stephen King. By lucky coincidence I had a copy of 1408 on DVD on my to watch pile of films, it felt like the time to watch it. Starting off quite similar to the written tale the film then went off to follow its own path.

John Cusack stars as Mike Enslin a cynical writer of books about real haunted places. In his mail he finds a mysterious postcard from The Dolphin Hotel of New York warning him from staying in room 1408. Accepting the challenge he researches the room and discovers that since the Hotel opened in the 1920's over 30 people have committed suicide in room 1408. Thinking it would make a good chapter for the end of his latest book he travels to the Dolphin where he encounters the Hotel owner Gerald Olin (Samuel L. Jackson) who is determined to deter Enslin from entering the room. He informs the cynical writer that including natural deaths over 50 people have died in that room and that even one of his maids went insane and clawed her eyes out after briefly being trapped in the room while cleaning. Enslin ignores the warnings, thinking that Olin is merely trying to build up the legend of the room. Soon after entering he realises his mistake; something evil is in room 1408, something that is not going to let him leave.

The film adds a lot of back story to the character of Enslin. In the book he was a writer who had fallen on hard times and so was writing these low brow haunted house books as a means of making money. In the film Enslin is revealed to be visiting these haunted places in the search for evidence of life after death but has become extremely disillusioned in his search. Both the film and the book start off quite similar, up until the writer gets into the room the film is quite chilling. The problem I had with the film is maybe due to me having read the story such a short time ago. In the book Enslin lasts about 70 minutes in the room where he is reduced to nearly a gibbering wreck, the film Enslin does get terrified at first but this soon turns into frustration and anger and an acceptance that he may never escape. The book has events ramping up into crazed terror but here there is lots of downtime where it is just Enslin and his thoughts.

The room goes through quite a few changes, it goes from hot to sub Artic temperatures, the room floods (via a painting of the sea) and even seems to leave reality for a bit. No matter what the writer does he cannot escape. A desperate crawl along the outside window ledge leads to the realisation that no other windows now exist on the Hotel, while a crawl through the rooms ventilation shafts sees him looping back on himself as well as chased by a zombie of a previous guest of the room. The chills sometimes work and sometimes don't. One clever scene has him trying to contact a man in the building opposite his room before he realises he is that man moments before the figure is attacked from behind by a maniac with a hammer.

The room seems to be a conduit for Enslins memories with him seeing visions from his past such as a scene with him, his wife and his daughter played out on a TV screen, and glimpsing him arguing with his father through a vent. Things get kinda ridiculous when he sees Olin; the Hotel manager lecturing him from inside the rooms fridge. Cusack holds the film together well for its near 2 hour run time (I saw the Directors Cut) but at times it does seem the length is slightly overlong. There is a quite clever false ending that caught me off guard, the actual ending is ok, but is actually different to the more upbeat ending shown for the Cinematic version.

Not a bad film but not that scary, still it is well made, well acted and just about stays its welcome.

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Everything's Eventual by Stephen King - Horror Book Review

2011-09-11T05:27:00.000-07:00

I have only recently started reading Stephen King so when I saw this collection of short stories of his in a charity shop I snapped it up. Contained within are 14 stories of what I hoped would be horror, terror, chills and shocks.

Perhaps not having read many Stephen King stories I had misled myself a bit, because here there is a collection of tales, but not all of them are horror, in fact quite a chunk are not. Starting off with 'Autopsy Room Four' we have the classic story of someone who is assumed dead but is merely trapped in his own body, unable to alert anyone to his status, not particularly interesting. 'The Man in the Black Suit' is the first real horror story of the book. A young boy going fishing encounters a strange and horrifying man; the Devil in human form who gives chase; a panicked and chilling tale.

The next few tales are all non-horror with a story about a travelling salesman contemplating suicide in a remote motel room, a truly boring crime story about a member of a famous armed gang, and a real life horror story of an undercover reporter captured by a cruel dictatorship. After this comes a short story set in Stephen King's fantasy world of the Dark Tower. This was a good introduction to that world and has made me interested in reading more.

The book then returns to horror for much of the rest of the book, though a lot of the stories are all takes on well known stories. 'The Road Virus Heads North' is about an evil painting, title story 'Everything's Eventual' riffing on Scanners, and '1408' being a classic haunted house story that is by far the scariest of the stories here (I have the film of 1408 on my to watch pile so may soon see that). Apart from a clever Groundhog Day style story ('That Feeling, You Can Only Say What It Is In French') that is it for great stories. 'Riding the Bullet' may feature a zombie but it is still a bit lacking on scares. A notable exception, and perhaps the best story of the book is 'Lunch at the Gotham Cafe' which is truly insane and features an amazingly well described character (an off-kilter waiter).

Each of the 14 stories is either forwarded or concluded with King given an explanation for why or how he came up with the story, some of these are really interesting such as King saying the evil picture in his haunted picture story is actually owned by him in real life, and that his merely passing by a New York Cafe and seeing a waiter and an arguing couple led to the crazed Cafe tale being formed in his mind.

King is undeniably talented, it is a shame that I did not get what I expected though with many of the stories here being good, but just not creepy enough for my taste, nothing that left goose bumps with me. Comparing him to H.P Lovecraft is unfair but that masters tales always left me with a feeling of utter dread, and tears in my eyes.

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Nightmare of 9th September 2011 - The Hideous Crab Creatures of the Vents of Terror

2011-09-10T05:14:00.000-07:00

Had a nightmare last night, and what's better is I can vaguely remember it. I used to have nightmares all the time, I'm not one for passing up a good nightmare if it is unrealistic as it is a joy to wake up and realise how cool it actually was. I watched a nature documentary about Turtles last night and so I attribute this nightmare to that.

I was in a house with my best friend, in the room we were in there was a big vent on the wall, every now and again a strange humming noise would start up and the vent cover would open up. Out of this vent came these strange creatures that resembled huge crabs made out of stone, trailing behind them were poisonous man of war tentacles. Eventually we climbed over the neighbours fence and took refuge there but the damned hell crabs found a way over...

That is all I remember but using modern technology I have managed to extract some dream images from my mind, for your terror seeing pleasure I give you a snapshot from my dream...

Apollo 18 - Horror Film Review

2011-09-09T04:04:00.000-07:00

The Apollo series has now reached its eighteenth film with the release of Apollo 18. I have only ever seen Apollo 13 prior to this and that was one boring film. For Apollo 18 they have moved into the horror genre (yes I know there is no such series, I am attempting to be funny!). It is a horror film in the found footage genre (think Blair Witch, Paranormal Activity, Quarantine).

The film starts with a message saying that the Apollo 18 project was cancelled due to budget concerns. It goes on to say that an anonymous person uploaded over 86 hours of footage to a website reported to belong to an Apollo 18 secret mission to the Moon. The film is pieced together from that footage.

Three astronauts (Walker, Grey, and Anderson) are sent on a secret mission to the moon to collect moon rocks, as well as more importantly install some detectors for use against Russian rockets (the film is set in the mid 70's). Grey remains in orbit around the moon while Walker and Anderson land in their lunar pod. At first the mission seems to be going well despite strange interference with their systems but then they notice mysterious footprints. They follow these footprints to a Russian lunar pod that has been trashed and is covered in blood. Suspicious how they happened to land so close to the Russian landing site (the Russians were never supposed to have gone to the Moon) the men speak to Houston who refuse to answer their questions. Soon after stranger and stranger events happen with their pod rocking violently during the night, strange tracks in the ground appearing and even the American flag they had planted vanishing. They soon realise that they might not be alone...

Apollo 18 it has to be said is kinda boring for a lot of its run time. Lots of shots of landscapes are used, these are effective in bringing home just how far away and alone the astronauts are but used a few too many times. At an hour and a half the film feels twice the length at times. Apart from a few sections filmed at the start that take place on Earth the majority of the film is set on the Moon. There is no down time as a result that other films in the genre benefit from, even when strange stuff is not going on you are still aware how isolated and totally alone the two men are.

All the usual found footage tricks are used, and just feel generic here. The strange noises, jump scares, people gurning at the camera pointed close to their heads, people being dragged off camera by things unseen; all these have been done in other films. The films highlights are when the astronauts ever descend into one of the moon craters where the sun doesn't shine. These are pitch black, lit only by the intermittent flash of their cameras, kinda unsettling. Creepy is what the film truly lacks though, with a cast of just three they are not strong enough to hold it together. Don't get me wrong, at times the film was exciting, tense, and even mysterious but it is so predictable that it just fails.

My main complaint, and one which would totally make or break this film for me was how it would explain all the lost footage being found. By the end of the film there are numerous cameras dotted over the Moon, as well as a few floating around in space so it seems ridiculous how this came to be recovered and was the final nail in the coffin for my enjoyment of the film. Found footage films present themselves as real so having such an obvious plot hole such as this just kills the believability.

An interesting take on the genre, sadly one that fails due to lack of horror and just not enough original ideas.

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Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare - Zombie Horror Videogame Review (X-Box 360)

2011-09-05T09:25:00.000-07:00

Red Dead Redemption is a third person sandbox Western set during the end of the Wild West in 1911 (think GTA with horses instead of cars). You play as John Marston; a former criminal who has been tasked with hunting down his old gang in exchange for the safety of his wife and son. The game is good, not as great as I had been led to believe. Soon after the games release a downloadable mode called Undead Nightmare was released. This keeps the setting of Red Dead Redemption but adds zombies, horror and all sorts of weird goings on.

It all starts with John Marston on his farm listening to his son tell him about the horror story he has been reading. Soon after Marston heads to bed with his wife. In the middle of the night a strange noise is heard, investigating Marston's wife is attacked by the farm help; an old man called Uncle who seems to be infected with a strange disease. John kills Uncle but not before he has bitten John's wife who then bites their son. Leaving his infected family tied up John heads off into the night to find a Doctor. He soon finds that a plague is sweeping the land; zombie apocalypse has landed on the world of Red Dead Redemption.

The game is really quite humorous but all the characters play it straight, acting much as they did in the proper game. The amount of dialogue in this add on is truly special with even Marston himself having new incidental dialogue when fighting the undead such as "didn't I kill you the first time?" and "next time don't believe in reincarnation!". A lot of the characters he meets in the main game feature here and it is quite fun to see who survived the apocalypse and who didn't. An early encounter with Blackwood's British Doctor displays the type of black humour running through the game when he says to John (to paraphrase) "I'm just going off on my own down this dark alleyway, I'll be right back" while a casual Jew hating shopkeeper in the actual game here is a parody of himself blaming the Apocalypse on foreigners, Catholics, the British, Jews, the Chinese and many more minority's before being set upon and eaten.

The plot is quite good only with the realistic way (for the game world) everyone behaves. It is a world of gun slingers and bandits so everyone is armed to the teeth and ready to fight. My only complaint with the games story is its ending which is kinda abrupt and feels like a mission is missing. The look of the game has been changed so that it looks permanently like it's dawn or dusk with plenty of thunderstorms. All the wild birds have been replaced with bats and the games wildlife are now all zombie versions. You will be set upon by zombie bears, zombie wolves, zombie jackals, and even get to hunt Sasquatches and the Chubacabra.

There are 4 main zombie types through out Undead Nightmare. The basic undead will charge you on sight and are the most numerous, toxic zombies spit goo at you and explode when killed, crawling zombies are fast and hard to hit, while the fat zombies shoulder charge you. All can only be killed by a shot to the head, damage to the body may knock them down but until their brain is destroyed they will keep on coming.

As well as the main missions and side missions there are also quite a few other tasks to do. Challenges return from the main game with an undead twist such as killing a certain amount of undead wildlife by flaming torch, or finding and taming the 4 horses of the apocalypse. The 4 horses all have unique powers (Pestilence is immortal, War sets zombies alight, Famine has infinite stamina, while Death kills all zombies that it touches). The Towns of the west are all in trouble and need to be saved before you are able to rest at them. This involves locating the survivors (usually on rooftops taking potshots at the horde) and working with them to drive out the undead menace. Every now and again a Town you saved will come under attack, requiring rescue again but this does not happen too frequently.

At around 15 hours long this is good value for money, I actually enjoyed this far more than the main game! It feels like you are in a nightmare; an undead nightmare at that.

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General Update for the Month of September 2011: Night of the living Bloggers

2011-09-04T14:27:00.000-07:00

And so the seasons pass, I can't believe how quickly this year has gone. So another general update from me; the Rotting Zombie. First off the Blogger Zombie Walk 2011...

On 30th September it is the Blogger Zombie Walk of 2011. Rather than a real life zombie walk this is a far more eye focused walk. Starting off on one site you follow the links from site to site reading a variety of wildly different articles about zombies as you go. I am pleased to say that I am going to be part of this, though don't know exactly what my post will be about.

The latest Zombie Times Newsletter is out, in it I learnt about a cool sounding zombie film in the making starring legend Craig Charles (who I once saw at Milton Keynes). The film is called Zombie Carnage and is about a reality TV show in which contestants fight zombies, ruled over by a crazed Producer. Sounds like a cross between the video game Manhunt and The Running Man.

Last Friday both Fright Night and Apollo 18 came out at the Cinema. Fright Night is a remake of the 80's vampire flick of the same name. The original was a horror with comedy mixed in, this looks to try and be the same, though I must say I am not impressed with the trailer. Apollo 18 seems to be another Blair Witch style film, with the unique twist of being set on the Moon during one of the (alleged) Moon landings. Quite good for new horrors at the moment.

I am playing through Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare which mixes the Wild West with zombie apocalypse. Red Dead Redemption was an ok game but this new tale set in the game world is amazing. Zombies, humour, horror, and even the 4 horses of the Apocalypse to capture. Review coming soon! Final Fantasy XIII is still going on, and still quite boring. I cannot wait to finish the blasted thing. A damn ton of X-Box 360 Zombie Indie video games are also lining up to be reviewed.

On the book front I am currently reading a compilation of Stephen King short stories titled 'Everything's Eventual'. It is ok but a lot of the stories are not horror so a tad disappointing. No doubt the latest issue of Shock Horror is out but the fine folks there always screw up my delivery so will have to chase that up.

Good time for horror, and don't forget the Blogger Zombie Walk on September 30th!

Final Destination 5 - Horror Film Review

2011-09-02T05:13:00.000-07:00

If I had to sum up this film in two words the words I would use are horrifically violent. This is by far the most realistic effects so far used in the franchise. I quite like the Final Destination series, they are a different take on the usual horrors. Final Destination 5 is the 2nd to be done in 3D, unlike 4 which featured some flat looking scenes the 3D in this one is of better quality.

Starting with an impressive intro credit sequence that throws everything but the kitchen sink at the audience the film cuts into the usual fare. A group of workers going on a team building trip encounter disaster when the bridge their bus is going over collapses killing everyone on board except 7 survivors who due to a premonition by Sam Lawton (Nicholas D'Agosto) had managed to escape the bridge. As with all the previous films in the series the lucky few start being fatally unlucky as one by one they start to die in freak accidents. Hunted by the Grim Reaper who is claiming the lives of those who cheated death the survivors must find a way to defeat their destinies.

Final Destination 5 plays exactly like all the others in the series but this is not a bad thing as the real draw of the series has always been about the deaths. A lot of the films many deaths are really quite wince inducing, and there is a lot of them as technically all the characters die twice. Two of them have already been shown extensively in the trailers; one of a man having acupuncture who falls off his table onto the needles and one of a woman having laser surgery on her eye. The acupuncture one is quite grim as expected but the laser eye is truly horrific as the crazed laser burns zigzags into her eye ball and she starts screaming. Other cool deaths include a nasty gymnastics accident, implements, crushings and explosions.

The plot is pretty standard fare, though the realisation that the doomed victims are able to save themselves by killing someone else in their place leads to some nifty plot developments. The film has quite a big twist at the end, though I guessed what it was about halfway through it. The characters are the usual mix of likable teens and idiots who get what they deserve. Final Destinations tone is more serious than the almost comedy of the later instalments, the over arching story line of an ex couple who reunite over the disaster is well done and really makes you root for them. The film ended with a highlight reel of the previous 4 films deaths which makes me think that perhaps this is to be the final entry in the series which has yet to outstay its welcome.

While many of the deaths are ridiculous coincidences of fate I feel that is the point of them; Death is claiming back his stolen souls, so freak accidents are a natural fit for his method of retribution. The inclusion of Candyman Tony Todd as the enigmatic coroner (who has appeared in at least 2 previous entries) was well done with him getting virtually no screen time to defuse his mysteriousness (is he actually Death?)

Absolutely nothing special to see here, if you come hoping to see original plot then you will be disappointed, but if your here for the trills then there are plenty to be found.

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Conan the Barbarian (2011) - Fantasy Film Review

2011-09-01T08:05:00.000-07:00

I heard the new Conan the Barbarian film was bad, both professional and social sources told me it was trash. Seeing the trailer for the film I was totally convinced it would be awful and so went to see it expecting utter dross. What you need to remember is that this isn't a remake of the 1980's Arnie films but is in fact a totally new take on the classic Conan series of books.

The film takes place in the fantasy world of Robert E Howard's Hyborian Age; after the fall of Atlantis but before the rise of the known ancient civilisations. It is a world of swords, sorcery and violence where might is right and the weak are crushed. The film starts with Conan as a Cimmerian child. His village is attacked by the forces of Khalar Zym (Stephen Lang) who are seeking the remains of a magical mask that has the power to turn its wearer into a God. The village Chieftain; Conan's Father (Ron Perlman who coincidentally provided the voice of Conan in the video game a few years back) is murdered and the village razed to the ground. As the only survivor Conan swears revenge on the mysterious attackers. Years later and Conan now a fully grown man (Jason Momoa) is seeking out the group responsible for his clans destruction with the aid of a group of Pirates.

In many ways Conan the Barbarian is very faithful to the tone of the books, Conan himself is perhaps a little too nice, and does not appear as dim and afraid of sorcery as he is in literature. The world of Conan is a sexist place with strong men dominating over the female half of the population. So here we get plenty of half naked women, lots of harlots and wenches but also some who are shown to be strong such as Zym's sorcerer daughter Marique (Rose McGowan) and main heroine Tamara (the beautiful Rachel Nichols). An odd plot choice does lead to Tamara needing to be rescued where she reverts to type being a screaming damsel in distress. Conan's world is a harsh violent place, this is reflected in the film which has plenty of violence and gore. Heads are decapitated, limbs chopped off, blood is spilt and one bad guy even gets his nose lopped off! Only a 15 but there is definitely plenty of violence and darkness (also it is slightly implied that Zym and his daughter share an incestuous relationship).

The plot of the film is highly predictable, nothing surprising happens but this tows in line with the books which are some of the most brain dead fantasy tales on offer. I am not knocking the books as they are highly entertaining but still both them and the film feature nothing but action from start to end. Momoa as Conan is an ok choice, sometimes he seems a little too clever to be the hulking barbarian required of him, while Lang as antagonist Zym is evil enough but he just never really feels as much of a threat as he is made out to be. From start to end though there is plenty of exciting fights include a few monster battles (such as clay men and sea monsters). The film looks gorgeous, the 3D is under stated and really doesn't bring much to proceedings though, but there are plenty of location shots. At times this felt like a more violent Prince of Persia.

For a slice of fantasy action this certainly ticks all the boxes; nudity, violence and a dramatic soundtrack. Leave your brain at home and there is plenty to enjoy, just don't expect Shakespeare.

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Zombies Ruined My Day - Zombie Video Game Review (X-Box Indie)

2011-08-31T10:13:00.000-07:00

I haven't reviewed a X-Box Indie zombie game for a while now, but like the actual undead they just keep on coming and now I have quite a large bunch beating at my door. Zombies Ruined My Day is a cartoony side on shooter that is a breath of fresh (I guess rotten) air in the never ending glut of overhead zombie shooters.

You play as a nerdy office worker who finally gets a date with the girl of his dreams. The only problem is that zombie apocalypse happens the very same day. Full of nerd rage you must defeat waves upon waves of zombies in a variety of locations.

The game immediately sets itself apart by being side on. A nice change that makes the game stand out. Zombies Ruined My Day is a shooter that requires a surprising amount of strategy. I went into shooter mode and while that worked for the first stage found myself repeatedly dying on the second until I realised I had to plan my attack.

You start off at first with a weak pistol with infinite ammo and an Uzi. The Uzi has limited ammo which can be replenished by shooting the military zombies and collecting the power ups they drop. Zombies arrive in waves and walk Lemming like; when they get to a wall they turn around and walk the opposite way eventually working there way down to your level. It only takes one hit by a zombie and you too join their ranks (a nice change to a Game Over screen). You have to plan to make sure you have enough ammo to take out all the waves. As well as military zombies who drop ammo there are also a wide variety of other special zombies. In the levels I played there were builder zombies who dropped barricades when they died which can be deployed to hold off the hordes. You can jump but this is pretty useless as there are usually too many zombies to make this of any use.

There are a wide variety of levels each with their own boss. Starting off in an office building where zombies arrive via elevators you move onto others including a construction site and a funfair. You unlock more weapons as you progress such as rocket launchers, mini guns and shotguns as well as get more tasks such as throwing innocents into the mix who must be protected. Despite the cartoony look the game is quite hard and requires you to use your brain.

The game looks great, with good sound effects, it is disappointing that there is no music but judging by the trailer this is probably not a bad thing. For only 80 Microsoft points this is well recommended. I admit I only played the Demo (which only had 2 stages) but I am going to buy this when ever I get a job and get some cash!

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Iils (Them) - Horror Film Review

2011-08-29T14:31:00.000-07:00

Iils (or Them as I am going to refer to it) is a French horror film set in Romania. Much like The Strangers the film is about a couple being terrorised in their own home by a mysterious group of people.

Clementine and Lucas are a French couple who have recently moved to a small Town in Romania. Clementine teaches French at the local School, while her writer husband stays at their remote country home. One evening while they are relaxing at home strange things start to happen. Starting off with prank calls and a stolen car their evening turns to terror as they realise that they are under assault from a group of hooded strangers who seem intent on murder. Working together they must escape the house and find safety.

The whole film is subtitled but this was never an issue for me, it really reminded me of The Strangers with a similar set up. Where that was a little too slow paced for me this also enjoys a sedate start, both films mirror each other quite a lot with events in both starting off with pranks and car sabotage before devolving into more violent going ons.

The location is really great. The big country house the couple live at is scary enough on its own, all overgrown fields and woods surrounding the place, the house is cavernous and dilapidated with creepy paintings on the walls and a ruined greenhouse attached. Half the house also seems to be under renovation with plastic sheeting up and walls missing. Half a house is hardly the safest place to take refuge! The house has narrow corridors, rusty locks, and creepy attics which really makes what happens all the more scary. Later on a change in location if anything ramps up the terror all the way to the end. The film is near blood free with a lot of things implied rather than seen and Them cleverly avoids the many jump scares that make up American horrors. There are some though such as a great scene which put me off ever wanting to spy through keyholes!

The main characters of Clementine and Lucas are played well with some good acting, Clementine is determined and does quite well considering her ordeal shes goes through. Lucas on the other hand spends most the film moaning and complaining, one sequence in which Clem is being attacked all Lucas can keep repeatedly saying is "What's happening? Where are you?" as if she is in any position to respond; patience Lucas! The aggressors (as the film is titled Them it is hardly a spoiler to say there is more than one) are irritating even if they do get the fear going. I always want to see the attackers get their comeuppance in films like this, it's just attention seeking when you mess around with lights and sound to goad your victims so you deserve to be killed.

Talking of sound and light these are both handled well. To begin with it is noise the attackers use to scare the couple; playing loud music, turning on the house TV, making strange noises but as the film goes on sight becomes the weapon of choice with the attackers repeatedly playing around with the lights, waiting for their victims to go into a well lit place before suddenly turning off the lights, or blinding them with flash lights they all carry.

I wasn't expecting to find this as scary as I did, quite similar to The Strangers but with a stronger second half this is one French film I will gladly recommend.

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Resident Evil 4 - Horror Video Game Review (Gamecube)

2011-08-28T10:06:00.000-07:00

I was quite literally terrified when I saw what Resident Evil 4 was turning into. I adored the survival horror styled slow paced events of the previous games in the series so I outright decided to have nothing to do with this 'mainstream' action game the series seemed to have evolved into. That all changed on the day of release, I was sleeping round a friends house when I awoke to the sounds of him playing his new game. The sounds tempted me into the front room where what I saw made me leave the house and head to the nearest shop to buy myself a copy.

Resident Evil 4 takes place in 2004 at a remote Village somewhere in Europe. Leon Kennedy now working for the U.S Secret Service has travelled to the Village to rescue the American Presidents daughter Ashley Graham who was kidnapped by a mysterious cult.. Upon arriving there Leon is ambushed by the local population who despite acting normally for the most part (e.g: not zombies) are psychotic. He escapes but the two local police officers he arrived with are brutally murdered. Trapped in the Village of the damned Leon must evade the crazed townsfolk and rescue the Presidents daughter.

The game compared to previous entries in the Resident Evil series is far more action orientated, there is hardly any of the slow build up of fear but more a constant bombardment of crazies attacking en mass. Despite over 20 hours of action things never get boring due to ever changing locations and events. Starting off in the Village it seems that this is to be the games main location. After a pretty awesome boss battle against the Towns Mayor in a burning shed I honestly thought I was at the games end, a great 6 hours I thought. I was blown away when I discovered that this was just a small sliver of the game! There is so much variety in this game, is quite ridiculous. There are sniper sections, puzzles, turret sections, sieges, action, action, action, horror, adventure and excitement. The way this game never lets up pace from start to finish is something to behold. A constant stream of new enemies, amazing bosses and stunning locations!

The main enemies in the game are Ganado's who are the local crazed population. Starting off as villagers wielding sickles, pitchforks and axes these change up to medieval style cultists armed with swords and crossbows to Soldiers armed with more modern weaponry. A multitude of other enemies also abound; mutant dogs, giant insects, hulking ogres and Killer 7 rejects. Bosses are many and varied from a fight with an aquatic monster in the middle of a lake to fights with chainsaw wielding maniacs and giant plants. None of the enemies from previous Resident Evil games appear but their absence is not missed.

The plot is quite cool even if it is nothing really special. The new characters introduced are ace though; super solider Krauser and Victorian midget Ramon Salazar being particular highlights. The game is influenced from a lot of things, there are sections that bring to mind the claustrophobic terror of Alien while other areas echo The Crazies and in particular French b/w zombie flick Grapes of Death. The film Dagon released previous to Resident Evil 4 has a whole section in it that is replayed in the game (a siege from violent villagers). One section in the game sees Leon going down a white corridor avoiding deadly laser traps; a blatant homage to the first Resident Evil film.

Enemies drop gold, and dotted around the levels are treasures that can be exchanged with meme-tastic shop keepers "what are you selling?" to get new weapons, armour, ammo, and larger holding cases. Weapons are many and can also be upgraded at the shops. There are a variety of pistols, magnums, shotguns, machine guns, rocket launchers, and more. A stupid amount of weapons. You can only carry a certain amount of equipment though as it must fit into your briefcase Tetris style. I haven't even mentioned the additional play modes such as the amazing Mercenaries mode.

There is nothing quite like this game, and no better in the genre. Even Resident Evil 5 aped this game but despite being fun failed to be as good (due in no small part to the hideous forced co-op that just does not work in single player with an A.I controlled monstrosity). It led to the Sci-fi Dead Space series as well as killing off the traditional survival horror games of old. A sublime game that everyone should play, a true classic in every sense of the word.

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Rise of the Planet of the Apes - Film Review

2011-08-24T04:57:00.000-07:00

Despite buying a boxset of the original 5 films a few years back from a charity shop I have not actually seen any of them. I figured I would wait to see this one before watching the originals. I wasn't quite sure what to expect from Rise of the Planet of the Apes but the trailer looked interesting so I gave it a go.

Billed as a prequel to Planet of the Apes the film takes place in modern day America where scientist Will Rodman (James Franco) has discovered a possible cure for Alzheimer's via testing on lab chimpanzees. After his star chimp goes wild and is killed the project is shut down with all but one of the chimps put down; Caesar a baby of the star chimp. Will takes the baby home and as the chimp grows Will comes to realise that he is hyper intelligent and that his cure actually works. After protective Caesar protects Wills Dad (suffering Alzheimers) from an angry neighbour the chimp is taken away to an ape sanctuary ruled over by Jon Landon and his cruel, sadistic son Dodge (Tom Felton) where Caesar starts a revolution with his fellow apes to escape their confinement.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes is far more slow paced than I at first expected, the build up to Caesar's eventual revolution takes most of the film. The first third of the film has Caesar growing up living with Will and his ill father. In this section Caesar seems more like an excitable child than anything else, full of wonder of the world beyond his window, but also showing a love for his adopted family, such as a tender moment where he gently helps Wills sick father to hold a fork. The next part of the film charts Caesar's imprisonment with a band of normal chimps at an ape sanctuary. He appears truly alone here as he cannot bond with the inferior chimpanzees due to his increased intelligence and the evil wardens mistreat him making him start to hate humanity. Finally the last part sees Caesar put a plan into motion to escape and lead his 'people' to a better land. This is full of action, damn exciting, but at the same time sad that things have come to this. Caesar is a wonderful character who despite being completely animated makes you really root for him due to his extreme likability.

The plot does peter out a bit toward the end where it does seem at times just an excuse for plenty of ape vs human shenanigans. The apes goal seemed to me a bit aimless so felt like they were just rampaging for no real reason. Caesar has morals and doesn't want any human to be killed unless he believes they really deserve it. If you have gone to see the film based on the exciting trailer then that sequence set on the Golden Gate Bridge is awesome but the lead up is equally as compelling. The acting is of mostly a high standard and I must admit I was pleasantly surprised by Tom Felton's performance. He may be type cast as a bad guy but his portrayal here is far less of the sneering Draco Malfoy and much more realistic with his inclusion feeling natural.

Not a good review I will admit, but for some reason I found this quite hard to do, not quite horror, not quite fantasy this is still an interesting and thoughtful film.

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Super 8 - Horror Film Review

2011-08-22T16:27:00.000-07:00

I have only noticed it recently but trailers seem to keep featuring music scores from other films. The trailer for Stephen Spielberg and J.J Abram's (Cloverfield) Super 8 had the theme to E.T making me think it was a sequel to that film. Talking of trailers, there was one for Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy before Super 8 which had Magneto's theme from X-Men: First Class as the trailer music, stop it already, make some new music!

Super 8 takes place during 1979. A group of kids are filming a scene for their amateur zombie film at a train station at night when they witness a catastrophic crash after a truck purposely rams into a high speed train passing the small station. The injured truck driver warns the kids that if they are discovered at the scene then they and their families will be killed. With the approach of a large military force the kids flee and vow to tell no one of what they saw. Soon after strange events start happening in the children's small home Town of Lillian with people going missing, blackouts, suspicious army radio chatter, and hundreds of random objects vanishing ranging from power lines to microwaves and car engines. It seems that the military train had been carrying something dangerous, something which escaped containment during the disaster and which the military will do anything to contain.

I thought Super 8 was going to be a kids film due to the main characters all being children but the film evokes a modern day The Goonies. The kids are all endearing and likable and show a lovable innocence as they get themselves caught up at the forefront of events and their immaturity leads to funny lines and situations throughout. The military force are shown as faceless drones bringing to mind the insanity displayed in George Romero's The Crazies with the forces determined to cover up what has happened whatever the cost, and while they never go to such drastic measures as Romeros' soldiers do they go as far as their 12A rating allows. The film is surprisingly violent in places and with the cinemas surround sound explosions and action is made unnervingly loud.

Much like J.J Abrams Cloverfield the big evil is sparingly glimpsed for much of the film, only being revealed towards the end. This is an effective method but unfortunately when you do get to see what the cause of events really is it cannot live up to the expectations built up by visceral scenes of destruction earlier on. This leads me onto my next complaint which is that the last five minutes of the film are truly soppy and cheesy as Hell with every single action so blatantly obvious that it is almost cringe worthy. It makes a good attempt but thankfully does not ruin what comes before.

The time period of 1979 feels authentic and there is quite a lot of humorous references and wisecracks that bring life to the characters. It really is the main cast of the oddball gang of friends that give the film its character; fat angry Charles, comic relief Cary, nerdy Martin and everyman main character Joe Lamb have a believable friendship with great acting. In contrast the adult actors are nowhere near as good with stereotypical military dick Nelec coming across as very one dimensional and a bad subplot involving Joe Lambs cop Dad disguising himself very unconvincingly as a soldier to escape his confinement and rescue his Son which is kinda stupid.

Full of special effects, mystery and mayhem Super 8 is a real ride from start till end (well start till 5 minutes before the end). Held together by the interactions of the children and the humour that their perspective brings on events this is a film well worth seeing.

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Condemned 2: Bloodshot - Horror Video Game Review (X-Box 360)

2011-08-14T11:05:00.000-07:00

I have often said that Condemned is one of my favourite games of all time, though a launch title for the X-Box 360 it still remains an enjoyable and really darn scary game. News of Condemned 2 filled me with joy but when I actually played it my hopes were dashed as it removed everything that was good from Condemned and filled in the gaps with bad ideas.

Condemned 2 takes place nearly a year after the events of the first game where FBI agent Ethan Thomas had been framed for murder. Thomas has quit the FBI and now a homeless alcoholic he spends his time in seedy bars getting drunk. A key character from Condemned; Malcolm Vanhorn is found dead and so Thomas is returned to the SCU (Serial Crime Unit) to aid them with their investigation. His investigation uncovers a plot to kill key members of a secret organisation by the thought to be dead SKX (the villain of the first game) that may be linked to the ever escalating violence in the City.

Oh dear, what has happened? Condemned was scary, mysterious, atmospheric, this is none of those things. The locations of Condemned helped to make for a foreboding atmosphere being as it was set in a series of condemned locations ranging from an apartment store to a library and subway station. Here the locations are just not that great. So many of the levels just do not feel right and feel like created places rather than real ones. Case in point is one of the games earlier levels set in an abandoned doll factory. It should be creepy as hell; dolls are creepy right? Not here, you are assaulted by a bizarre number of robotic exploding dolls, and even attacked by a crazed girl wielding a deadly lollipop saw but there is no fear there at all.

Hidden through the game are some gems, a level set in a museum under renovation has you battling security guards as well as looters who have dressed themselves up in ancient armour, all around you are display cases ready to be smashed open to get weapons to defend yourself with such as a crossbow and numerous medieval swords, another level that sees you pursuing an escaped serial killer through a bowling alley, closed school and other random buildings and is quite fun. There are a load of terrible levels, one set in the SCU building is so bright and sterile that it feels like you have been transported into F.E.A.R while another set during riots is just plain frustrating due to terrible signposting.

The combat has been shaken up this time around. Weapons now break after extended use and your useful taser has been relegated to a limited use tool that doesn't even pop up until a third of the way into the game. Combat is more complicated and doesn't have the oomph that your desperate battles in Condemned had. Guns have sadly increased significantly with some levels being nothing but gunfights. Brings me onto another bugbear; enemies are no longer just the homeless and drugged up, you now frequently fight a rogue SWAT team armed with assault rifles. Monsters have also increased with annoying oil creatures which crawl out of walls as well as in the later stages annoying enemies who must be killed from afar (up close the screen blurs and shakes so much that it is literally impossible to see what the heck is going on). Might also add that a freaking mutant grizzly bear chases you throughout one level!

The plot of Condemned was ambiguous, never made clear if all the paranormal stuff Ethan witnessed was all in his head, mostly it stuck to realism. Here the games plot is needlessly explained, most of the questions are answered too much, and the reveal of an ancient secret organisation pulling the strings is a real hooky let down. The plot is pretty terrible, only really the subplot is any good. Several of the earlier levels take place during riots, discarded radios provide details of how the riots are progressing and you frequently get caught up in them. After the last week of the London riots this was strangely relevant. Hidden around levels are TVs and Radio's that feature news reports on the events taking place in the City, including the cautionary tale of a reporter who went undercover as a homeless man and what happened to him. The game flings a load of naff plot twists at the games conclusion no doubt for a hoped sequel.

Minor but irritating issues where first of all Ethan Thomas has managed to change race. He used to be a fat Hispanic man but has changed somehow into a muscular very pale white man. Your partner Rosa was a fat woman but has been reinvented here as a younger looking, slim one, least she kept her race. Really odd design choices!

This game is so disappointing, in places it shines but this is too infrequent. The fear has been sucked out of Condemned and a unique almost FPS brawler has been turned into at times just another FPS. The story is so bad that it even impacts on the previous game ruining all its mysteries. The game is well made and can be entertaining in places but extremely disheartening to play, I really would have preferred no sequel to this travesty.

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