Saturday, 20 February 2010

Watchmen: The End is Nigh Pt 1 (X-Box Live Arcade Review)

This is a damn boring game. It is of course based on the Watchman graphic novel and released to coincide with the film. The game is a scrolling beat em up where you can play as either Nite Owl or Rorshach.

The game starts with you investigating a riot at a prison. It seems that a criminal called Underboss escaped in the confusion. You spend the rest of the game tracking him down.

As mentioned this is uber boring. There are only a handful of different enemy types, and with the exception of the last level no boss fights to break things up. The levels are bland as anything. This can be demonstrated in where they are set - Prison, Streets, Docks, Sewers, Rooftops, and finally a construction site. Woop de doo.

The 2 characters play differently. Rorshach has very violent special moves, brutal, with blood and teeth shattering. He can also pick up enemies dropped weapons and cause more violence that way. Nite Owl on the other hand is bland. He can't pick up weapons, and his moves are boring. The game can be played in co-op but I never tried this.

One thing it does have going for it is that it looks fantastic, one of the most graphically impressive games on X-Box Arcade. Wonderful weather effects, character models, and lighting. Between levels are cut scenes set out in the style of the graphic novel which look great.

This is part 1 of 2. I never bothered picking up part 2 based on my unimpressed impression of this one. If it ever drops in price it is worth it, but otherwise at 1200 Microsoft points it is just not worth it.

Friday, 19 February 2010

Turning Point: Fall of Liberty (2008) - Action Videogame Review (X-Box 360)


I realise I have been doing nothing but videogame reviews for a while now. I will be doing some more real horror reviews quite soon. Turning Point is a terrible terrible game! I have that out my system, so on with the review.

Turning Point takes place in a alternate reality where Winston Churchill died after a car accident in the 1930's. As a result of this the Germans conquered all of Europe and Russia, and the USA never entered the 2nd World War. The game starts with the Nazi invasion of America. You play as a construction site worker in New York who joins an underground resistance to fight off the German threat.

The games first level is fantastic. You start off on top of a huge skyscraper construction and get to see the attack by the Germans. Hundreds of planes fly overhead, along with Nazi Blimps. They lay waste to New York with explosions and collapsing buildings everywhere. Followed by parachuting Nazi's. It is a real spectacle, one thing the game has going for it is that it looks great, the graphics are really good I thought. The levels throughout the game are quite cool. Other locations include the White House, and London Bridge.
The enemies consist of Nazi soldiers. Some resemble the Helghast from Killzone, wearing gas masks with glowing orange eyes. These are all human enemies, and just vary in terms of weapons they carry. They do have an annoying habit of spamming grenades at you all the damn time.

The game is a joke, it is a last generation First Person Shooter (FPS) dressed up in its older brothers clothes. Everything about it is so old in feel. Stupid things like your character never changes his clothes from the construction ones he wears at the start of the game. The enemy A.I is bad, enemies standing in plain view rather than attempting to avoid your attacks. The game is also buggy as hell which caused a lot of unintentional humour. At one point I had a NPC whose walk animation had broken, so it looked like he was skating everywhere, really funny seeing him walk repeatedly side to side like a crab. Enemies sometimes float when killed, weapons they drop get stuck in objects, sometimes they forget to react to your presence. Enemies sometimes become bullet proof and can't be killed. Buggy. As. Hell. Also the game from start to finish on normal lasted just 3 hours, so short!

The game features online multiplayer which a lot of the achievements are tied into, but the servers have been turned off due to no one at all playing the online aspect I would guess. I got this for £5, It is a fun game, just hideously broken, and will mess up any achievement completest dreams.

SCORE:

Thursday, 18 February 2010

Resident Evil 5: Lost in Nightmares - Zombie Horror Videogame DLC Review (X-Box 360)


Lost in Nightmares is the first of two planned extra missions for Resident Evil 5. It is set in an entirely new location, featuring new enemies and characters.

The mission involves the infiltration of a mansion where Oswald Spencer (The founder of Umbrella) is hiding out. During Resident Evil 5 this was shown in flashbacks, now as either Jill Valentine or Chris Redfield you get to play through it.

The mansion is a great location, it is similar in design to the mansion from Resident Evil 1, and so there is lots of nostalgia for the Resident Evil fan. Resident Evil has never looked better, this game looks, and sounds amazing. There are a few cheeky references to the original game as well which are much appreciated. The new enemies are cool, and fit into the location well, not feeling out of place, and include zombies! New Journals give more insight into the back story of the place.

The game is scary! Not since the original game has the series been properly horror based. It helps that for a significant part of the game you are weaponless, stuck in a maze like flooded basement being stalked. Take away the powerful weapons and Resident Evil can be a fearful place.

At 400 Microsoft points this is cheap, but bear in mind that it is only around a 30 minute experience, and if you are looking for lots of action you will be disappointed as this is more based around simple puzzles and atmosphere. The next downloadable bonus mission I would imagine is going to be a hell of a lot more action orientated. If you miss the days when Resident Evil was survival horror rather than pure action then this is for you.

SCORE:

Wednesday, 17 February 2010

X-Men Origins - Wolverine = My Review of the Game

I havn't seen the film this was based on, I do wanna see it. As such I don't know if it is a copy of the film, or original. The problem with Wolverine in films is that he is a man with giant claws, and yet as the films are made to appeal to kids he never does anything interesting with them. Thank god it's different here.

The game takes place in 2 different time periods. One is set in Africa, Wolverine and his mutant Commando buddies are fighting bad men in Jungle ruins. The other is set 30 years in modern day. In this one Wolverine is being hunted by the Army, and must escape and infiltrate thier bases. The story went a bit over my head to be honest, I got confused with characters etc.


The game is a 3d brawler with slight platform sections, reminded me a bit of God of War. It is a very violent game, a very very violent game, lol. This is due to Wolverines amazing Adamantium claws. With these you can slice off enemies limbs, heads, as well as just stick em through the enemies. You have a real cool lunge ability that lets you spring across the stage onto any enemy in sight, very cool and empowering. The enemies are kinda varied. As well as soldiers you get to fight other mutants, robots, and Guerilla fighters. There is a reucurring boss fight with a stone golem, these are too numourous and become boring as Hell, other boss battles are ace though.

Famous Marvel characters do make an appearance, such as Sabretooth, Gambit and Deadeye. Also an iconic sentinal makies an appearance as a very exciting boss fight (what with the Sentinal being 100 feet tall). Other memorable scenes include a fight with 3 Helicopters that takes place in free fall, and a pursuit though a casino under attack by the military.

The locations are ok, but drag on far too long in places. The first military base is almost obscenly large and takes forever to get though. The Africa mission all takes place in the same Jungle ruins so gets samey. The levels and characters do look fantastic though.

The game is very violent, quite monotonous in places, but well made. Prehaps a good companion piece to the films?

Tuesday, 16 February 2010

Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard - Action Video Game Review (X-Box 360)


Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard is a comedy action game which derives most of its humour from games, and the conventions around them. Some of the humour is spot on, but can also not be as funny as it would like to think.

You play as the titular Matt Hazard. In the game Matt is a video game star starring in countless games since the 1980's. After a run of ill advised spin offs (such as Matt Hazard Kart Racing) he has been given another shot at an action game. All is going well until he discovers to his horror that he is due to be killed off at the levels end in a 'shock' change for the game. A hacker intervenes to save him. For the rest of Eat Lead you have to traverse various levels, as enemies from all Matt's previous games are spawned in and pitted against him in a effort to kill him off on the fictional game company's Managing Directors orders.


The game is a third person action one. It has a cover mechanic similar to Gears of War, but not as well done. There are many different weapon types, as well as special ammo you can use when you have built up your hazard meter. The ammo comes in flame and ice types.

Humour in games is hard to do well, this game is no different and mostly does fail, but despite this the game is fun, and exciting. The locations are on the most part purposely bland, to demonstrate how so many games are set in bland locations such as warehouse, docks, and factories, but by purposely having bland levels it makes the game worse than the joke was worth. Where the humour is better is when it references other games. There are digs at Duke Nukem Forever and Final Fantasy among others. Enemy characters include female robots who are the spitting image of Lara Croft (from Tomb Raider), Joanna Dark (from Perfect Dark), and some friendly characters include a Mario lookalike, and a Master Chief (called Master Chef).


The enemies are varied, being taken from Matt Hazards 'other' games. There are normal humans such as cowboys and triads, but also Halo Spartan enemies, 2D Nazi's from Wolfenstein, robots, and even zombies (can only take them out by a shot to the head!). Quite a few boss battles take place, though some truly dreadful QTE's (quick time events) are used for these.

The game is very free with its achievements. Some of the easier ones include one for starting the game, one for doing the games very short tutorial, one for pausing the game, and a few more 'comedy' achievements awarded for things that were 'left' out the game such as one for non existent multiplayer mode.


Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard is competent, and has some great music, the humour feels a bit poor, and the levels are quite bland. It only cost me £5, I would say if you see it for that price then it is worth picking up, but I wouldn't recommend paying much more for it.

SCORE:

Monday, 15 February 2010

The Wolfman (2010) - Horror Film Review


First of all, the cinema I saw this in was the hottest cinema ever, the heating was on full blast, and it was packed with people, there were literally people bursting into flames. As a result I could not wait for the film to end, so that might be reflected in my thoughts of it.

The Wolfman is a Werewolf film *shock*. It stars Benicio Del Toro as Lawrence Talbot. He has returned to his family home after many many years after hearing via his brother Ben's fiancee (played by the beautiful Emily Blunt) that his brother has gone missing. Upon arriving he discovers from his weird distant father (Antony Hopkins) that Ben was found dead, seemingly due to a wild animal attack. Lawrence decides to stay and discover just what really happened. Before long he has been attacked by the animal, and discovers to his horror that he is now a Werewolf.


The film is quite average to be honest. It is set in oldie style England, and looks the part, but the plot is very obvious with no real surprises. Del Toro brings nothing to his character, neither likeable, or dislikeable, which makes it hard to understand why a love story develops between him and his brothers fiancĂ©e. Hopkins is ok as the distant Dad, the rest of the cast are quite bland also. Hugo Weaving is the exception though, he is great as Inspector Abberline, and brings a cool factor to the character, remaining calm when everything goes to Hell, and also being flawed in his narrow views.

There is lots of cool violence. Heads are severed, limbs are torn off people, intestines spilt. Despite this though there is a lack of blood which reduces any sense of realism. Corpses look fantastic, but not so much fresh violence. Some inventive ways of killing people.
The Werewolf is great until you actually see it. It reminded me of Teenwolf, the Werewolf still being mostly clothed, the transformation effects are impressive though. I know it's based on the look of the Werewolf in the classic Universal original, but meh anyway; Cool teeth though! The Werewolf action scenes are the highlight of the film though, especially the exciting running battle between the Werewolf, Abberline and his Officers in London.

An ok film, but nothing special, I will admit that I'm not the biggest fan of the Werewolf as a monster.

SCORE:

Sunday, 14 February 2010

Bioshock 2 (2010) - Horror Videogame Review (X-Box 360)


Have not done a post in quite a bit, so apologies I guess. As I have said in my last post, I love Bioshock. Bioshock 2 is the sequel that no one asked for. The first game was such a complete experience that it was generally accepted that any further games would dilute the fresh feel and even potentially destroy the feeling of Rapture.

The game is set ten years after the events of Bioshock. You play as a recently awakened prototype Big Daddy (huge lumbering monsters in giant armoured diving suits), named Delta. A decade earlier you had seemingly died at the hands of Bioshock 2's main antagonist; a British psychologist called Lamb, whose daughter (turned into a Little Sister; another monstrous being) was under your protection. Now you are awake for reasons unknown and on a mission to get to Lamb and rescue 'your' Little Sister.


The story is not as good as that of the first game. Lamb is a compelling character with her dreams of unity, the Splicers are under her control and with them she is trying to establish a basically communist family where everyone is equal. The reasons she wasn't around in the first game are fine, but being such a big rival of Andrew Ryan's she does feel a bit shoehorned in as she was not mentioned at all by him in that one, and it just seemed it was him VS Fontaine.

There are many more audio diaries this time around, around one hundred and fifteen of the things. They are interesting though, and do give insight into the world of Rapture, but are mostly centered around Rapture after its fall. Characters from the first game turn up in the audio diaries, Andrew Ryan being the best return.


Quite a few references to the first game make an appearance. As well as audio diaries there are also posters and such that reference characters, as well as locations. The best being (light spoiler) a religion a priest has created that revolves around the hero of Bioshock.

The locations are not as good this time around. The levels revolve around Raptures older areas, and poorer areas accessed by a train. The locations are very decrepit, and rough. The worst location for me in Bioshock was the housing area due to the darkened ruins, and Bioshock 2 has nothing but these locations. There is nothing that comes close to rivalling Fort Frolic. It does make sense as it is over ten years since the Rapture civilisation collapsed, but disappointing nonetheless.


A lot of the old weapons make comebacks, and are as good as they ever were, some new as well (such as the fantastic harpoon gun, and drill arm). The plasmids are mostly the same, though have been altered to balance them out a bit (for instance frozen enemies now drop items). The new plasmids are cool, but do nothing really exciting.

There are more variety of enemies now. Along with the Splicers there are now bulky Splicers who are immensely powerful. There are more Big Daddies around now, as well as their lithe female equivalent Big Sisters. As you yourself are a Big Daddy they are no longer the scary threat they once were, and can be taken down quite easily. They have lost the fear factor, but are still fantastic enemies.


The morality of whether to harvest or save Little Sisters returns with an added mini game of protecting them while they harvest Adam from bodies. Also more interesting morality choices turn up that are not as black and white. These choices result in one of four endings which gives replay value.

Bioshock 2 features multiplayer. The multiplayer is the usual deathmatch things, and is ok, but nothing special. What is interesting is that there is story around it. Getting your characters levelled up opens up audio diaries, so if I do play the multiplayer it will be for that reason only.


Bioshock 2 is technically a better game than Bioshock, but it is a worse experience, as the wonderful world of Rapture fades away a bit in place of more combat and gameplay. Still a great game when compared to others of its genre.

SCORE:

Update 09/01/22: I never did play any multiplayer!

Tuesday, 9 February 2010

Bioshock (2007) - Horror Videogame Review (X-Box 360)


Someone I work with who is more into games than the average person, but still quite casual was recently faced with the prospect of getting either Bioshock or Fracture. He chose Fracture, I was astounded. Speaking to him about his decision he said it was because he thought Bioshock was a kids game based on the fact that the 'Little Sisters' are children. Needless to say I executed him for crimes against reason. 

I have recently been playing back through Bioshock in readiness for Bioshock 2. It is still a fantastic game, just as good as it always was. What still amazes me is what a real location Rapture feels like. The places you visit are jammed with small details, and the voice recordings really create a sense of what pre madness life was like. With water everywhere it is impossible to forget that Rapture is an underwater City, wondrous.


In the game you play as a survivor of a plane that has crashed into the sea. You head towards a mysterious Tower you spot. Inside you discover a Bathysphere. Climbing inside it starts to descend, an automatic message from a man called Andrew Ryan plays informing you that you are heading to Rapture; a secret underwater city where he and others headed to escape the confines of world society. Arriving in Rapture you see that the whole place has gone to ruins, roving 'Splicers' (people turned psychotically violent due to messing with their genetic code) lurk everywhere. A man called Atlas contacts you by radio and tells you if you help him and his family escape Rapture then you can also go with him. The ruler of Rapture - Andrew Ryan on the other hand is convinced you are a CIA or Russian agent sent to infiltrate the city and take its secrets, and so unleashes his Splicer army after you.

The game of course is a first person shooter (FPS) with RPG elements. Your weapons are split into two types - conventional guns, and plasmids. Conventional guns such as shotguns and machine guns can hold many different ammo types (such as anti-personnel and armour piercing). Plasmids are the games 'magic' these are genetic changing perks that give you a variety of abilities, everything from firing fire, electricity and ice out of your hand to gaining telekinesis and controlling enemies. The plasmids in particular give you a variety of ways to defeat the mutant enemies. For instance you can set an enemy on fire causing him to leap into the nearest pool of water to extinguish the flames, then electrocute the water frying him, or turn an enemy into a block of ice, and then smash him to pieces with your wrench.


The enemies are well realised, they are the former citizens of Rapture, now insane, they constantly speak babble, revealing hints of who they used to be and what they have lost as they do so. The best enemies and the most iconic are the 'Big Daddy's'. These are huge monster type giants in bulky diving suits, armed with a giant drill, or grenade launcher. They protect the 'Little Sisters' (possessed girls who harvest ADAM from corpses; ADAM being the highly addictive drug used for splicing). Until you actually bother them they are neutral, but as soon as you disturb them they go insane. Incredibly powerful and damage resistant each one is a real challenge to defeat.

The game looks fantastic, there is a 1950's steam punk look to the whole game, and the music fits the period well also with lots of orchestral ambiance. The plot is amazing, so much all comes together to make Rapture seem like such a realistic place, a fantastic achievement. Twists galore, mostly known now, but I won't ruin them here. If you have not played Bioshock you need to, it is an essential purchase!

SCORE:

Sunday, 7 February 2010

Hitman - Action Film Review


I will start off by saying that this is one of the most faithful game to film movies I have seen, and also one of the best (admittedly that is not a hard thing). The director was obviously someone who had actually at least seen some game footage of Hitman.

Agent 47; a Hitman for a secret world wide organisation is tasked with assassinating a Russian running for presidency. The hit is successful, but soon afterwards the organisation he works for tells him that not only did he fail the hit, but that there was also a witness to his crime. Realising he has been betrayed Hitman goes to ground, hunted by both the Russian police, and his former organisation.



The film has many familiar elements from the game. The Hitman (played by Timothy Olyphant) really looks the part. The iconic suit with white shirt, red tie, and leather gloves. The iconic look - bald with a bar code tattooed on the back of his head. The iconic weapons - duel silver pistols, the long range sniper rifle, and his equipment holding steel suitcase. Many shots are filmed as if you were playing the game - slightly elevated from behind shots of Hitman walking down corridors. The crossed arms holding the gun, the gun hidden behind Hitmans back, and the red tie blowing in the wind all feature in the film, as well as Ava Maria; the Hitman theme.

There is plenty of action in the film, and Olyphant looks really cool as he coldly and calmly deals with any situation. The police, and criminals are really just cannon fodder designed to make 47 look cool. More intense battles come when other Operatives from his ex organisation appear. Trained the same way as 47 this leads to more close combat focused longer brawling.


The plot is kinda muddled, and is just really an excuse for scenes of action. Olyphant really looks the part, but unfortunately whenever he speaks the illusion is ruined as his voice just doesn't fit the part. Thankfully he doesn't talk much which is a blessing. Dougray Scott is excellent as the Interpol agent who has been tracking 47 for 3 years, and has a deep respect for 47.

The extras on the DVD are quite cool, as well as a making of, there is also a featurette on how they adapted the game to film, and also a cool section where they demonstrate real life versions of the guns used in the film. The film only cost me £2.99 so was a cool purchase.

SCORE:

Friday, 5 February 2010

Zombie Mania - Review of the X-Box Live Indie Game

There has been 3 zombie games released so far this week on the Indie game channel. This is not a review of one of them...

Zombie Mania is basically a Pac Man clone. You are a woodcutter, in a medieval town. The aim of the game is to collect body parts while avoiding the zombies. Dotted around the levels are also Axe's (power pills) these give you the temporary ability to chop up zombies. Rather than the single screen of Pac Man the view is much more zoomed in, so that the level cannot be seen all at once. Each level is larger than the one before, the zombies become faster, and the body parts more numourous.

The game looks ok, it is nothing special, but is medieval style with dusty ground and European style house comprising the walls of the maze. A meloncoly piano track plays during the game, it is simple but effective. The groans of the zombies are constant, and sound cool.

It would have been useful to have a mini map so that you can see where body parts of still waiting to be picked up. Also, the isometric houses that make up the maze sometimes obscure the body parts making it annoying when you are randomly walking round the maze hoping to find one last body part hidden by a building. The game is quite hard, and unvaried, but is worth playing if your into zombies.

Thursday, 4 February 2010

I MAED A GAM3 W1TH Z0MB1ES!!!1 - Zombie Videogame Review (X-Box Indie)



There has been another glut of zombie indie games released recently, this week alone there has been Samurai vs. Zombies, and Yet Another Zombie Defence Game. I thought a review of the most famous X-Box Live Indie Game was due.


IMAGWZ is a twin stick shooter, the game is of fixed length (around 6-8 minutes?) and lasts as long as the fabulous song does. The song is the most talked about factor of this game. It is a comedy song mostly describing the game and about how the game was made. It is linked heavily to the action on screen, e.g.: fast bits of the song result in heavier action on screen. Lyrics from the song flash on the floor. The game is played from an overhead perspective, your character is a man armed with many weapons.




Zombies are the main enemy type. They come in 3 different variants - Normal Zombies, Shirted Zombies, and Fat Zombies and just swarm towards you as they come onto screen. There are quite a few other enemy types as well. Green balls of slime split into smaller ones when shot, pixelated faces move round the screen, and abstract diamonds and clouds also figure heavily. To combat these are many different weapon types to collect. These include Rocket Launchers, Flame Throwers, and Laser Rifles among others.


The game is fun, and addictive, and for 80 MS you really have no excuse not to buy this.


SCORE:

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

The Road (2009) - Horror Film Review


So I saw The Road last night. Yet another post apocalyptic film (strange that two have been released at the same time; this and The Book of Eli). I had no idea what this film was about, or even what age rating it was, I saw it based on the fact it was post apocalyptic.

A man and his 10 year old son are travelling south in the USA. They are travelling south as the world is getting colder, and it is warmer south. That is the basic story of the film. Along their journey they encounter roving bands of cannibals and thugs, as well as other innocents. The apocalypse in this film seems to be one of a new ice age, rather than the War of The Book of Eli. The world is getting colder, is plagued with constant earthquakes, everything is destroyed with most animals, plants and trees all dead. The version of the post apocalyptic world is far more in line with Fallout 3.


Water is a constant. It is constantly raining, houses are flooded, water is everywhere. I'm sure this is symbolism for something though I'm too stupid to figure it out. The film for the most part concentrates totally on the relationship between the father and son. The father sees his child as God and will do absolutly anything to protect him, even kill him. Coming from pre apocalypse the man has no hope, his son is the only reason he is alive. Through flash backs it is shown his wife commited suicide due to losing all hope, and that it was only due to the man that she didn't take her son with her. The film is very downbeat, the father is suspicious of everyone, even benign innocents he angrily confronts, always with the paranoid cry of "why are you following us?". His faith in everything is long gone, and he is powerless for the most part. Encountering a basement full of emaciated prisoners kept alive as a food source for cannibals he makes no attempt to save them, he and his son hide as a gang of bandits chase a woman and her child across a field, not even wincing when she's caught and her screams begin. The boy on the other hand has never known any other world than the Hell they are in, he still has hope, and faith in people.

There is a beautiful part in the film which nearly brought me to tears, can't remember who says it, but it's basically that the person who dreams horrid dreams has nothing to worry about, it is the person who dreams only of beautiful things that is in danger, as it shows they have lost all interest in their life (or some such thing). Many times during the film brightly lit, joyous flashbacks of the man and his wife back before the world ended are shown, and then abruptly ended when the man wakes up and it is revealed it was him dreaming. The contrast between heaven and hell is such a difference.


If I had one thing negative to say about the film it is that the ending is stupid, an unrealistic deus ex machina of an ending which felt out of place in contrast to the relative realism of the rest of the film. The film is quite uneventful, but this is purposeful, the man aims to avoid danger, and it is only by accident that he ever finds himself involved in events.

This and The Book of Eli could be set in the same universe as far as I can tell, apart from the obvious polar opposites of what the post apocalyptic world is. This even has a character called Eli in it (this time an old man, rather than Denzel Washington). Many references to God also litter this, though not so much as in The Book of Eli. The general theme being in this film that if there is a God he is either dead, or just no longer cares about humanity.
A film that makes you question the point of life, downbeat, depressing, with little hope, little action, and the insignificance of life on Earth.

SCORE:

Tuesday, 2 February 2010

House of 1000 Corpses - Horror Film Review


Last Saturday my Halloween 2 Remake DVD turned up, woop de la do, love it! The extras are sparse, include Bloopers, some cool alternate and deleted scenes, and not much else. But Rob Zombie is my fave director, love his stuff! Talking of him, I re watched his first feature film 'House of 1000 Corpses' the other day. The sequel 'The Devils Rejects' is loved by all, an absolute classic.

House of 1000 corpses is a horror based on the crazy family formula of films such as The Hills Have Eyes, and The people under the Stairs. A group of young tourists travelling in the wilds of America learn from a creepy clown who runs a tourist attraction, and petrol station (played fantastically by Sid Haig) that a notorious serial killer called Dr Satan was hung from a tree nearby. The intrigued couples (two horror fans and their girlfriends) decide to have a look for themselves. In the darkness they find a hitch hiker; a young attractive blond girl by the name of Baby. She tells them she can show them the tree, but soon after their car breaks down. Baby gets her brother Wolf to tow them to her house so he can fix their car. Her house is home to a bizarre family, along with Baby and Wolf there is their Mum 'Mother Firefly', a brother Otis, and a giant called Tiny. Needless to say their decision to leave the weird house doesn't go directly to plan, chaos and violence happens. It also appears the supposedly dead Dr Satan is in fact still operating in the area.


God I'm writing drivel tonight. The main characters of the film are actually the crazy family, when I first saw this I had assumed the victims were the mains, but they actually are annoying and are bland compared to the varied and ghoulish family.

The effects are quite cruddy in places, and the films plot is quite dreadful really, what Zombie wanted to achieve resulted in some tacky, and cheap looking sets (such as the underground cave of skulls), but it is still entertaining.


The film is well shot, and has some really unique and fantastic moments, my favourite being the scene with cops investigating the house (end up getting killed with no sound effects or noise at all, a completely inappropriate sweet song playing as the action plays out in complete silence).

My writing skills have completely left me, so I will finish up here. Rob Zombie is a brilliant director, this is definitely worth picking up.  Special note should be given to the wonderfully designed DVD menus that feature the characters of the film in fourth wall breaking brilliance!

SCORE: