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Monday, 14 April 2014

The Quiet Ones (2014) - Horror Film Review


Usual story from me for this one, I saw the trailer, thought it did not look anything special, but then thought I should give it a watch as it is horror so might have some scares. I was really quite concerned that this film would fall into the 'creepy little girl' genre which I oh so hate but instead straddles the line between that (though the girl here is actually in her late teens), demonic possession, and even throws in some found footage for good measure.

Most horror films nowadays proclaim they are based on true events and The Quiet Ones is no exception, in fact it ends with the same trick The Conjuring did by having real photos from the actual event mixed in with the credit sequence. Set in the 1970's in Britain Jared Harris stars as Joseph Coupland; an Oxford University Professor who believes that paranormal activity can be explained as the physical manifestation of negative energy from troubled people. He has under his care a young girl; Jane Harper (Olivia Cooke) who is his test subject in what he dubs 'the experiment' in which he intends to prove his theory by creating a ghost from Janes energy. Several students are aiding him in his tests as well as a young cameraman brought in to record the findings. After losing his University funding Coupland relocates to a remote country house. While he is determined to prove his idea it starts to seem to everyone else involved that there really may well be real demonic supernatural forces at work.


For the first half of The Quiet Ones not a lot happens and I was in fact a little bit bored. It is slow and the methods used for creating scares are traditional and also increasingly irritating. Jump scares feature heavily, nothing special there as they are real obvious, but it is sound scares that really started to get to me. Over and over again scenes would either change from a noisy one to extremely loud ones, or a high pitched electronic buzz, or scream would start, and the amount of scenes that started with the cameraman doing a loud clap were too many to count. I did not find that to be an effective way of forcing viewers to react. Thankfully the second half of the film manages to change up the formula enough that by the end I was getting some decent chills, it is far more interesting when it appears real evil may be at play.

There are some decent special effects used, though also some poor ones such as ectoplasmic goo that appears like a tentacle out of Jane's mouth at one point (bad C.G.I). Later there is better effects used thankfully with some sometimes gruesome images. The acting is also not bad, though the sub plot of cameraman Brian falling in love with Jane is stupid what with her being a monotone mess for much the film's 98 minute running time, I realise she is meant to be emotionless but it doesn't endear you at all to the character.


I thought the idea of splicing together traditionally filmed footage along with shaky camera worked well, the transition was usually really quite smooth and the camera footage was lit well enough that there wasn't much confusing out of focus swirling as is often the case. The plot was decent enough if a little too convoluted at times, and some of the heel turns were really quite obvious but it ended fine enough I felt. As for the chills themselves there are some effective seance scenes, and the often used people being dragged around by invisible forces was in full force here. I have to say a later film fight between two characters was pretty awful to watch.

All in all The Quiet Ones is saved by it's second half, in no way an essential horror to watch but this modern Hammer Horror effort was entertaining enough, it could have been a whole lot worse.

SCORE:

Danger Zombies - Horror Stationary


I was in a Pound Shop the other day which as its title suggests is somewhere where everything costs £1. I happened to notice these striking zombie themed stationary sets and just had to buy some of them. I picked up a notepad, as well as a pencil, pen, sharpener and pencil case. Also for sale were a larger pencil case, a zombie themed colouring book as well as zombie felt tip pens.

These products are all aimed at school children which I found to be quite strange as they are full of blood, brains and intestines, albeit in a cartoon style, still for someone whose school banned Garbage Pail Kids cards when I was a nipper I can't imagine they would have been happy with gore soaked stationary.


For £1 it is cheap and cheerful, though I actually really like the notepad, and the sharpener is pretty good as well, the pencil case is made of a very cheap shiny plastic so I probably wont be using that. I love how popular zombies are at the moment, I hope they never fade! Talking of zombies the town was really busy with people last Saturday, mild panic set in as I contemplated just what I would do if they were all undead rather than regular humans...

Sunday, 13 April 2014

The Walking Dead: Season 4 (2013-14) - Zombie Horror TV Review


For some people The Walking Dead has got as stale as the undead corpses inhabiting that world. I just do not understand these people, especially as in my eyes season 4 was a strong one. My early concerns that the show had run out of ideas were utterly unfounded as time and time again ideas of a genius nature are featured. Now this is season 4 so there are going to be spoilers for previous seasons, you can read my reviews of those ones here, here, and here. I will try my best to keep spoilers for 4 to a minimum.

Having defeated the Governor and his cronies at the end of season 3 Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln) and his group at the prison have settled into a relatively peaceful existence, but this is ruined by the outbreak of a disease that spreads like wildfire infecting and killing many among the survivors. To make matters worse the dead come back to life as zombies and soon chaos reigns, especially with the reappearance of familiar faces.


To say any more really would ruin this season as there is such a curve ball thrown halfway through that it would be too much of a spoiler to reveal. Basically The Walking Dead Season 4 feels like two different mini series, the mid season finale was really epic and in my opinion even outclassed the actual season finale. On the subject of season end I disagree that it was a poor one as I have read in some places, for me it was more that it ended on such a huge cliffhanger that the thought of having to wait until October to find out what happens next left me feeling distraught!

Season 3 experimented in the fantastic episode 'Clear' with the idea of having self contained episodes featuring just a few characters from the main cast, I am very pleased to see this carried on as season 4 has a lot of episodes that do this with a whole host of characters leading to some really exciting, as well as heartfelt and touching moments, and some that blew me away with just who was featured.


The zombies just keep on looking more and more horrific and twisted, the zombie make up is fantastic. There are burnt up ghouls, squashed, trapped, maimed and icky ones. There is just no shortage of the ways the undead are made to seem a real threat, whether it be coming under assault in thick mist, disease afflicted one, or even zombies literally raining down from the heavens. There is a lot of violence here with throats torn out and much more. The comics I eventually gave up on as the idea of making the zombies a back ground concern while a unique one did lead to boredom, the show realises this though so even during the most mellow episodes there is always at least one high action zombie sequence.

While I have been waxing lyrical this season is not without its faults. With the liberation of Woodbury a massive host of new people turned up in the show, it seems rather than make these into anything interesting they instead might as well all be wearing red shirts as anytime things go south you can guarantee that the ones getting killed will be people you don't recognise or care about. It is almost humorous how many of these background characters suffer horrific fates while the main cast are pretty much untouchable at times (though there are some big shocks). The same goes for any people discovered out in the wilds, they seem to exist only to get killed the second any of Ricks people discovers them. Attempts are made to flesh out some of the main characters, the ever excellent Michonne (Danai Gurira) now gets a back story that while interesting did seem to suddenly pop up out of nowhere. As a last gripe my suspension of disbelief was severely tested when Glenn appears to just teleport off screen, showing up somewhere he shouldn't be just for a story beat.


The acting is fantastic, the direction, effects, and even the choice of music is near perfect, this may well be the best series yet and I highly recommend watching it. This season goes to some extremely dark places, but it also finds time to have more light hearted times, it is a strong balance that works well.

SCORE:

Monday, 7 April 2014

Amnesia: The Dark Descent (2010) - Horror Videogame Review (PC)


I heard Amnesia: The Dark Descent was a scary game, this made me excited to play it as scary games seem to be rare nowadays. Finally with a laptop able to run it I eagerly gave it a go.

Amnesia is a first person survival horror in which you start the game in a strange castle with no memory of how you got there, or who you are other than your name; Daniel. A letter near where you lay is from your past self, it instructs you to head to the inner sanctum of the castle and kill a man called Alexander. As you explore the castle you start to remember bits of your past that involved finding a mystical orb in some ancient ruins, and an unspeakable evil that is hunting you down as a result.


Amnesia is set during the last third of the 19th century, as a result there is non of the modern tools you would usually find in a survival horror. In fact there are no weapons at all in the game, upon discovering a monster your only option is to flee and hide. Darkness drains your sanity meter, the longer you spend in darkness the more you begin to hallucinate. To combat this you have a torch that must be kept topped up with oil, and there are hundreds of wall mounted torches and candles around the castle that can be lit.

Initially I was concerned by how much variety there would be in the games world. The castle is not particularly special looking and truth be told kinda bland. There are various areas of the castle including prisons, sewers, and living quarters but none of these locations were interesting in design. The main bulk of Amnesia is solving simple puzzles that can be anything from piling up a load of boxes to reach an out of reach platform, or throwing a rock at a suspended chain, or collecting various items for use on a particular thing (such as using a hammer and chisel to break a floor open). More interesting are the various documents spread around the mansion. A lot of these are diary entries from yourself that give context for what has happened, also a cool idea was that loading screens provide back story.


I played this in the dark with headphones, and at night where possible but I just did not find it that scary. Sure random walls collapsing in the distance freaked me out slightly, but the atmosphere just wasn't there for me. Darkness irritated more than frightened, and this went for the enemies too. A cool twist is that even looking at the enemies drains your sanity meter. They themselves were not that well designed and didn't inspire fear so much as annoyance when they killed me. A few chase sequences were more fun, one that had me desperately slamming doors shut behind myself as I ran was cool, and a brief jaunt through some flooded rooms where touching the water alerted an invisible monster to my location was good.

I think my problem is that so many people had said how scary this game was that I hyped it up too much in my head. I had fun with it but is not a game I could see myself going back to. The story whilst straight out of a H.P Lovecraft tale just did not engage me, I did not find it that interesting. Not bad, but certainly not a classic. I wanted creeping dread and instead got occasional thrills.

SCORE:

Thursday, 3 April 2014

Pontypool (2008) - Zombie Horror Film Review


Now I just do not know how to start my review for Pontypool, the idea behind it is so hard to grasp, even by the films end I really am not sure I get it. Rather embarrassed I have to say for the longest time I thought this film took place in a Welsh town rather than the Canadian one it actually takes place in (obviously as both are called Pontypool).

On Valentines day, during a blizzard DJ Grant Mazzy (Stephen McHattie) arrives for his morning slot on the local Pontypool radio station he has recently joined. As the morning goes on he starts to get strange reports from roving reporter Ken Loney about huge groups of people acting violently. It seems that large majorities of the town have gone insane inexplicably. With no official word on what is happening and with rumours of the military blocking off access, Mazzy, along with his producer Sydney, and assistant Laurel-Ann decide to stay on air to try and discover just what is going on. It appears that somehow a new virus has came into existence, one that spreads itself via the English language...


The idea of a virus spread by speech is so hard for me to wrap my head around that this particular plot point fascinated me. The irony of a film about a speech virus that takes place almost exclusively in a talk radio station (a place where talking is the focus) was a great decision. By talking on the air, by trying to warn people could you in fact be helping spread the virus? It is an idea that is handled well keeping you guessing just if the main characters themselves may be infected or not. Apart from the first five minutes the film takes place completely in the studio, much of this has the characters sitting in chairs talking. A zombie film (for this is what this is) that occurs from the view point of people not actually experiencing the madness first hand is unique, I guess Orson Wells radio play of H.G Wells The War of the World is the closest thing.

At times it seems like Pontypool wants to devolve into a comedy of sorts, sometimes McHattie's character gets bizarrely animated, and the eye witness accounts he gets are so outlandish and hard to imagine that it seems almost like a spoof. The disease emerges in the victim repeating a phrase or noise over and over again like a mantra, they get stuck in a loop which leads to them becoming increasingly violent as they fight to break this cycle. Reports of a crowd of people all imitating the sound of window wipers, or a dying man making noises like a baby in his breath come across as kinda funny rather than disturbing. Very effective was when one of the main characters becomes infected, shown by them suddenly imitating a boiling kettle, it does sound silly but on screen it really chilled my marrow.


Now the zombies are not traditional ones at all, they do make an appearance here but they mostly are not that scary and easily tricked, but their unnerving habit of repeating back in various tones of voice whatever anyone says did make some creepiness, though this is more effective with isolated zombies (or conversationalists as director Bruce McDonald coins the infected) who act more random than the herd like groups. There is a small amount of gore here but mostly the horror is created through suspense and thrills. The small cast do their jobs well but sometimes their actions seem a bit strange, they don't appear that terrified of the madness sweeping their town even when it seems like the end is coming. One part in particular in which a character is utterly drunk in one scene and then the next appears back to being sober with not much time having passed irked me.

Pontypool has a lot of great ideas, and does a good job at taking a stab at a really confusing subject matter, it's sometimes dip into black humour (such as the obituary section of the film) is not entirely unwelcome though that uneven balancing between serious and darkly comic, along with some inconsistent character actions stops this being a top tier horror. Nonetheless this is solid, thoughtful stuff.

SCORE:

Wednesday, 2 April 2014

Silent Hill: The Escape (2009) - Horror Videogame Review (iOS)


The Silent Hill franchise is one of my most beloved, I just love the idea of a cursed town which draws damned souls and then torments them with their own hidden fears. I got an iPhone earlier in the year and seeing this on the store I had to purchase even though I had a very strong inkling it was not going to be very good.

You play as someone who has become trapped in Silent Hill, or more specifically a series of mazes. There is not really much story other than sentences after every few levels saying how you need to escape. Once complete you get an ending of a kind, but a pretty stupid one.


Each level takes place in a different location and is a maze, a bland maze from which you must first find a key, and then find the elevator exit. You first explore mist world Silent Hill before going onto hell world Silent Hill but apart from a more mesh like view there is not much to tell the two apart. Locations include a hospital, sewers, train station, hotel and more but each location is very bland and featureless.

Played in first person you touch to move your character around clumsily. The levels have enemies from the Silent Hill games such as zombie nurses, possessed wheelchairs, hulking brutes and giant insects but they look terrible and don't really do much. You have a gun that can be used to kill these though you get more points for avoiding the creatures. The gun sight and the reload function look hideous and completely out of tone with the rest of the games bear minimal art style.


The main problem with The Escape is that it is extremely boring, each and every level pretty much the same with no sense of fear or horror you would expect. When you die your character screams, that's about it for scares. Once you complete the game you can play it using an Alien armed with a ray gun, but this was just as boring.

The best thing about this is the music which grinds and grates and feels Silent Hill like, but in total this is a waste of time, tedious, shallow and so very bland. Avoid.

SCORE:

Tuesday, 1 April 2014

Remains (2011) - Zombie Horror Film Review


Remains was originally a comic by horror genius Steve Niles. I own the first two issues but missed out on the subsequent three so have been itching to watch the film version for months now to find out what happened.

Remains takes place in Reno, USA where a nearby test of a chemical solution said to completely dissipate nuclear waste results in apparent world wide zombie Armageddon. Tom (Grant Bowler) and fellow casino/hotel co-worker Tori (Evalena Marie) escape the worst of the blast as they are in a stock cupboard being 'intimate'. Also saved is hotel magician Jensen, and cowardly Victor. After weeks of time wasted getting drunk in the hotel they finally decide they should try and escape and find somewhere save from the hordes of undead. With salvation appearing in the form of a group of a well armed travelling militia they plan to make their escape...does anything ever go that easy though?


The limitations of Remains budget are always readily apparent, mostly rearing it's head in the form of badly made up zombies and ever present CGI for outdoors scenes. A car crash in particular looked like the fakest thing I have seen north of the borough of Faketon. There is no doubt at all watching this that it was meant for a DVD release and nothing more.

From what I read of the comic this features several scenes that I remembered so I assume it most likely follows the course of that story. Mostly it is about the characters attempting to escape the confines of the hotel. A plot involving militia proved to be a red herring, and maybe it was the narrow budget but the pay off of that particular storyline occurred offline. There are some really neat ideas here that elevated this from purely mediocre. First of all the zombies of this film are not purely after living human flesh. The zombies here eat anything including normal food, other zombies, and even themselves which does not sound that big a deal but you would be surprised. Also another neat twist was that the ghouls sleep at night, they sleep where they stand which leads to a frankly awesome sequence in which the survivors attempt to sneak past, at least one point I visibly jumped during that part!


So the faults then? The CGI as mentioned is humiliatingly visible, the zombie special effects really are not great, most the zombies do not look too different to normal people though I did appreciate they have normal strength so even normal windows pose a problem to them (something I always try and convince my dear best friend would be true in a realistic zombie outbreak). The film is meant to take place over a few weeks but it does a terrible job of conveying this, it is only after a character mentions that it has been a few weeks that I knew for certain. Also the zombies are meant to be getting smarter and more dangerous as time goes on (big shout out to David Moody's Autumn series that also had this element!) yet the film does not do a good job of demonstrating this. The main characters are not that well developed, Remains the film features several characters who were not in the original comic series yet even the characters of that do not have much depth to them.

There are some scenes here that really elevate Remains from merely average. A hilarious scene in which some character attempt to escape an underground car park via a smart car was a real highlight, not knowing the code to open the shutter doors to the garage Tom shotguns the keypad (which in films usually results in the door magically opening) instead of opening it leads to a genius conversation of:
"What the hell did you do that for?" "...I don't know!"
That and several other scenes of inspiration lead to something that while in no way a great film does create a fun zombie flick that is worth a watch if you don't particularly care for quality.


I was drunk while watching Remains, and it is a core rule that I should not watch a film for review while under the influence of anything but I think the fact A) Had fun with it after a hell of a bad day B) Did not think it was the best thing since (over rated) sliced bread that my review still stands. Worth a watch if you are not expecting the Shindler's List of zombie films.

SCORE:

Sunday, 30 March 2014

Under the Skin (2014) - Sci-fi Film Review


I almost missed this film, and until earlier today I had never even heard of it. As it sounded like a film that would fit on this blog I decided to take a chance and see it. Despite being a low key art house style film it stars super star Scarlett Johansson. Minor unavoidable spoilers ahead

While the plot is never implicitly explained Johansson stars as an alien being wearing a human skin. She travels around in a white transit van where she entices men with her looks and lures them back to her house where they become imprisoned. At first utterly devoid of emotion as time goes on she starts to show glimpses of humanity and to question just what she is doing.


For an art house film the cinema had quite a lot of people in it, I firmly believe nearly all of these were there just because Johansson was in the film. Around a third of the way through a couple in front of me left the room never to return, walking out at the films end people seemed baffled by what they had just seen. Now I for some reason take quite a shine to arty films (such as Coyote, and Lord of Tears), I knew what to expect as minimum so was not thrown by full female and male nudity, long, long shots of peoples faces and scenery, discordant music, and minimal dialogue.

Now while I usually disprove of nudity in films, here it is not used for titillation, instead it is tasteful and used only when it needs to be. This includes plenty of shots of Johansson herself naked, I do happen to find her quite attractive but my enjoyment of this film came down to her acting ability. Devoid of emotion it is fascinating to see this being exist in the world. You get the impression she sees humans as ants, this view reinforced by many camera shots observing random people as she drives past them. A scene in a busy nightclub sees her in almost a panic as she desperately searches for an exit from the writhing mass of humans. Under the Skin is almost devoid of any dialogue, mostly occurring when she tempts men into her van where her mimicking of human small talk and fake smiling really give a strong impression of just how out of touch she is, especially one bit in which she gets an extremely deformed man into her van and seems for a moment confused as to why he is not reacting as all the other men she has captured do, apparently oblivious to the fact that he does not look like everyone else.


A lot of the film includes street scenes and sequences that feature normal members of the public, they even went as far as to have some of Johansson's awkward conversations with random pedestrians feature non actors, people who at the time were unaware they were being filmed by hidden cameras. With full black hair she is not immediately identifiable as the person she really is so these scenes are quite fascinating and blend so well with actual actors that I found this to be a great idea.

A real slow burner with not much at all happening and lots left up to interpretation, the first five minutes is almost a way to weed off any casual viewers with a long intro sequence consisting of an eyeball. The capture parts of the film are very dreamlike with a pitch black room and a weird alien lake that people become trapped under that is slowly revealed over many visitations to the abject terror that awaits those entrapped; a fate worse than death. Throughout the camera work is great, and is of very high quality.


I did find my attention dissipating slightly in the second half, where the first has the being in a crowded Scottish city the second half takes place out in the countryside where I started to get quite confused (something my friend says I get a lot during even the most simple of films). Johansson looks fantastic throughout and the camera compliments this by often focusing on close ups of her face for long lengths of time. Scenery shots are also wonderfully done, with the discordant droning score, and unearthly ticking noises mixed in with forests and seas a wonderful combination is reached. A lot of this discord reminded of the style of David Lynch's surreal films.

Now I fully realise Under the Skin is not something that everyone would enjoy, especially if you have a short attention span, but it is such a haunting, melancholic, disturbing, and yet at the same time strangely peaceful work of art that I could see myself watching time and time again. A balanced portrayal of humans that for a change does not judge but just observes.

SCORE:

Saturday, 29 March 2014

Attack on Titan (2013) - Anime TV Series Review


Last year the Attack on Titan anime exploded becoming seemingly a global phenomenon over night. I was late to the party, but with my best friend raving about it, as well as most the podcasts I listen to shouting about it I just had to give it a go. There will be spoilers ahead, I can't avoid them but will try and keep them to a minimum.

The show takes place in a world where in the past humanity was nearly driven to extinction with the arrival of Titans; giant humanoid creatures who seem to exist solely to eat people. Now what is left of the human race live behind 3 gigantic circular walls that stop the Titans from being able to get in. Eren Yeager lives just within the first wall with his parents and intensely loyal friend Mikasa, one day a 60 foot Titan named the Colossus Titan appears and breaches the wall allowing Titan hordes to enter and ravage the town. In the chaos Eren's mother is killed but him and his sister manage to escape with Eren vowing to destroy all the monsters.


Over 25 episodes (26 including the recap one. I really don't know why anime shows seem to adore doing these completely pointless recap episodes) a hell of a lot happens. The first half charts Eren's life as he trains to be in the military, the second half (complete with new intro and outro credits) has Eren and friends now part of the Recon Corps. A lot of the episodes are action based and one battle, or mission can last multiple shows, and at around 24 minutes each that leads to some epic fights.

Now the Titan's may be fearsome opponents but there look is one of grotesque appearance than intelligent. They are sexless, have a wrong look about them and can only be destroyed via the back of their neck being slashed open. The human army are armed with something called 3D manoeuvre gear which is kinda like a jet pack complete with wires that lets the user zoom around in the air like a fly. Even with these devices the military is a high risk occupation with everyone terrified of the giant beings.


Truth be told I am in the depths of a cold/flu thing and am not liking how this has led me to neglect my blog, one post a week is not what I want! So I am hammering this review out knowing full well I just am no good at reviewing certain things. I really enjoyed Attack on Titan but some things did urk on me. Midway though the show things become quite stale for a few episodes with not much at all happening. The plot is great and there are lots of cool twists and turns but it ends with there being more questions than answers, I would have preferred that at least some of the mystery was explained, any of it at all in fact.

If you even have just a passing interest in anime then you must check out Attack on Titan, a hell of a show and one that feels so fresh and looks and sounds so good.

Wednesday, 19 March 2014

Armageddon of the Dead (2008) - Zombie Horror Film Review


Armageddon of the Dead is the third in the trilogy of zombie films my best friend lent me. Now I am utterly sick of zombie films dramatically lying on their covers to try and sell a film. For whatever reason most zombie films feature a cover that has a burning city along with thousands upon thousands of zombies. This one has perhaps the most ridiculous one yet, I am more than half convinced it isn't even the right cover for the film, I mean look at it! The tag line is 'Hell has destroyed the world...now Hell has to pay" Really? Really?! Nothing relating to that damn cover, or that utterly unrelated tag line has anything to do with what happens in this film!

Jenny and Sam Mills drop off their young child at Jenny's parents house one seemingly normal evening. Returning home they go to bed, while Sam's troublesome younger brother sleeps on the couch. The next day Jenny heads out to do some shopping when she realises zombie armageddon has begun (due to a train carrying dangerous chemicals derailing near the town). Racing home to warn her husband she finds out him and Nick have already encountered the dead. Together they head to her parents house to get the daughter, but the house is empty. A radio station informs them to head to their nearest community centre to be evacuated, so there they go hoping to find the kid.


Wow, this film is a true stinker, a real chore to watch. Now zombie films can be bad and still have redeeming features, but this is just plain bad and really falls on the boring side of badness. For whatever reason every single scene feels really, really long. Early on for example Sam has barricaded a zombie in his bathroom and is desperately calling for Nick to wake up and come help him, this whole scene should have been over in moments yet I could swear it was at least five tedious minutes it went on for. This happens again and again, what should be brief and poignant scenes drag into tearfully agonising eternities as the convoluted and stodgy script calls for characters to just drone and drone on at each other in the most soul sucking ways. The script is awful, no amount of acting can make what the characters say seem at all natural.

No one seems to be into their roles, the couple searching for their daughter acts as if it is a set of keys they have lost, or that they have mislaid their phone, no sense of urgency, pretty much no emotion is summoned by either actors. Hard to root for people who come across as sociopaths! The character of Nick (played by Jason Harper) is designated as comedy character which fits very badly into this realistic world director Damon Crump is attempting to create. Issues such as racial tensions, and the power of the military is extremely ham fistedly jammed into the film, terribly and unsubtly done.


Zombies are really not well treated here, some look great, some have really cool prosthetics on them to make them look really messed up. It is so patchy though, most the zombies just seem to have had some fake blood flicked on them, or blue veins painted on to the sides of their faces. It is so inconsistent that I wonder if the people playing the zombies were asked to provide their own make up. Scenes that involve a crowd of zombies really demonstrate this lack of clarity. Some have no pupils, some look wild eyed, others look and act normal as if they were not aware they were meant to be zombies. The one good thing about these undead is that there are a lot of them, or seems to be in places.

What if anything does Armageddon do right? They have ruined streets down with plenty of smashed and empty vehicles. I also get the sad impression that it is kinda a realistic impersonation of what a real outbreak would be like. Everyone is panicked and useless, arguing, or sitting in mute silence, and unprepared to be able to fight the dead. Old tropes rear their ugly heads. People who refuse to believe their loved ones now visibly transformed into drooling flesh hungry ghouls are actually infected at all, zombies who walk around with their arms out straight in front of them and, cars that conveniently run out of petrol. No one knows to aim for the head, and no one knows a bite will result in being turned, so unlikely!

A somehow boring film whose low budget destroys any of the set pieces it tries to create. This has been done a million times better in a million different films. Avoid like the plague! To end; apologies for the terrible images, I really need to start taking my own pictures for my reviews.

SCORE: