Bitten (2008) - Short Zombie Film Review

With a schedule that is relatively clear at the moment, I am once again at liberty to watch one of the short zombie films from the bumper DVD collection I am working my way through. Bitten was written and directed by Duncan Laing (Nightshift), and features one central idea over its 6 minute runtime.

A woman (Claire Wilson - The Eschatrilogy: Book of the Dead) returns to her home in a panic, sporting a fresh and very bloody new neck wound. With it appearing obvious this is in the midst of a zombie apocalypse, things don't appear good for the lady.

Despite being just 6 minutes in length this managed to feel a lot longer. Sometimes in zombie fiction, the victims turn immediately, not so here. The short skips around in time, showing the woman's gradual transformation into a ghoul. This transformation seemed to take forever, each new scene showing her, I assumed she was now fully zombified, but each time it became clear she was still in the process of changing. I did like the initial panicked run through her house as she vainly attempts to sterilise her wound, but the later scenes kept leaving me expecting more interesting to happen. There is a recurring almost subliminal image of her children's bedroom that keeps popping up, but when that part makes an appearance in the short, it came across as unexpectedly amusing rather than harrowing. I don't think that was the intention.
Usually, make-up effects on the undead don't matter to me. Where the central idea is a woman's change into a walking corpse, the very thick layers of make-up on her became a bit distracting. There was plenty of blood however, I appreciated the incidental details around her home, such as a cracked and blood smeared mirror, and one bloody phone.

The central idea was neat, but I couldn't help but think that even at 6 minutes, Bitten managed to outstay its welcome a little bit. Not bad, and I liked the setting, but it felt like it was lacking a little something to really leave a deep impression. Sorry for the lack of images, I wasn't able to find any for the film online.

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Zombeer (2008) - Short Zombie Horror Film Review

Whenever I have a week off of work my best friend is always saying I should get a bunch of horror films reviewed to break out in case of emergency. For well over a decade I've owner a collection of short zombie films on a DVD titled Ultimate Zombie Feast. What had put me off watching this was due to the excited tagline stating there were over 5 hours of zombie films on the disc. It only really occurred to me earlier this week that I didn't have to watch this in one go for a review, instead I could treat each of the films to their own review. The first of these was 12 minute short Zombeer, the title I was unsurprised to find existed before any idea for what the short would be about existed. This was co-written and co-directed by Barend de Voogd and Rob van der Velden.

After being found drunk on the job one too many times, the head brew master at a Dutch brewery is told that going forward he is only to work nights at the place. This turns out to be fateful for the alcoholic as alone at night he accidentally tumbles into a giant vat of beer. Of course the man drowns, but he also somehow gets infected by the boiling beer, and the process turns him into a zombie. The next day at the brewery it is business as usual, but the batch of bad beer soon begins to spread and turn all who consume it into flesh hungry ghouls.

Zombeer is a prime example of how it isn't really important to have the biggest budget when making a zombie film. This does everything you would want, though the zombie part of this did come slightly too late into the film. The undead are plentiful and look great on screen (as always there isn't much need for complex make-up effects), but the best part is relegated to an end credits sequence. Weirdly, this begins with a Japanese news report that hadn't been translated - no idea what that part was about. It then goes into a neat found footage segment showing an unfolding zombie outbreak in daytime city streets. It was a shame the very best part of the short took place over end credits.
The story is functional, and the acting is purposely a bit exaggerated, but fitted the events that never took themselves too seriously, obviously realising the silliness of the situation.

Zombeer didn't outstay it's welcome, and for a zombie short it was a lot of fun. The brewery location was one of the best things about this, and I appreciated the special effects were practical rather than CG. Worth a watch, fun in that neat brain-dead type of way that only indie films about the undead seem able to succeed at.

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Black Pearl (2008) - Post-Apocalyptic Film Review

Black Pearl is the re-release of a micro-budget epic originally released in 2008 under the title 10,000 AD: Legend of the Black Pearl. Co-directed by Raul Gasteazoro (The Protector) and Giovanni Messner, with a story written by Gasteazoro (who also co-stars), this film has a very impressive amount of ambition, but its indie budget and super serious, yet hard to follow plot makes this not so much a black pearl, more so, a diamond in the rough.

The intro states that deep in the past there was a terrible war that completely destroyed the world. Nearly all evidence of humanities past has been lost, and the surviving people have reverted to a tribal existence devoid of technology. The Plebians make up the majority of the surviving humans, roaming the land in tribes. The Huron are evolved humans, they are able to use mystical powers that allow them glimpses into the past and future, as well as the ability to channel energy as well as an advanced lifespan. Recently a third group have emerged; the deadly Sinasu, these dark robed figures are sweeping the land wiping out Plebians wherever they go, and corrupt the Hurons into joining their mission.
It is destined that one day a warrior will arise who will be fated to locate the legendary black pearl - a MacGuffin that is said to have the power to restore the world back to as it once was. Kurupi (Julian Perez) is believed to be this fated warrior, and so he sets out on a quest to find the black pearl and save the world.

First things first, I got a wonderful sense of Horizon: Zero Dawn with the way this is set in the deep future, yet features characters who have reverted to a primitive lifestyle; almost caveman like in their appearance. These future humans wear animal furs, and fight with weapons made out of animal bones, and mostly exist out in the wilds. Like Horizon also, the ruins of past civilisation are very few and far between, little more than basic ruins, and a sole rusted tank. Sure, there may not be robot dinosaurs here, but the world has a dedicated atmosphere to it, and is the most Horizon like thing I have seen outside of the game (obviously, the film came out a long time before that game did, not suggesting it was influenced, but it had story beats that did feel similar).

The biggest thing that lets Black Pearl down is its near impenetrable story. It got to a certain point during my viewing of this when I just gave up trying to understand what was going on. There were a multitude of male characters who looked almost identical, all bare chested with long flowing dreadlocks, I was only really able to separate them via the clothes they wore. My plot synopsis I included earlier was completely based off the press release I received, without it I don't think I would have actually been able to say what goes on within the eighty minute mini-epic.
The film is split neatly between scenes of talking and scenes of fighting. The former almost always just featured the two characters, speaking extremely seriously, but in a way that made them hard to understand. For the first twenty minutes or so the characters don't even speak in English. I wasn't sure if it was a made-up language or not, but at a certain point the characters start speaking normally; stating that important matters should be spoken in their ancestors language. That was a decent enough explanation, but doesn't really explain why every single character after this point decides to speak exclusively in English. It made the film a little less exhausting to watch at least.

There are plenty of high energy fight scenes here, a couple of battle scenes, but mostly singular characters fighting amongst themselves. The choreography was mostly cool, but the frantic editing style of quick shots piled on top of each other made these fights a bit difficult to follow. It doesn't help that several include two different fight scenes happening at once, meaning the constant quick cut of shots felt even more hard to follow. There are some fun special effects, mainly related to Matrix style energy channelling, and I thought the black and white surreal flashbacks to the apocalypse were very well done. The quality of the film wasn't that high, plenty of blurry looking scenes, and the early subtitles looked a little low in quality also.

I enjoyed Black Pearl, it should be lauded for its ambition, its dream-like feel, and its impressive filming locations. The film's low budget is easy to see however, and more than anything, the near nonsensical plot made it really hard to care what was happening, especially when so many of the characters looked near identical to each other. Black Pearl is now available to rent or own on Amazon Prime.

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Let the Right One In (2008) - Horror Film Review

I saw Swedish vampire film Let the Right One In a long time ago originally, likely very soon after it came out. It has been over a decade at least, so with the film coming to digital platforms in the UK and Ireland, I felt it was time to revisit the cult classic. Directed by Tomas Alfredson (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy) and written by John Ajvide Lindqvist, this slow burn coming of age vampire movie was nominated for a BAFTA, and had seventy six wins and fifty eight nominations in total worldwide.

It takes place entirely in a small Swedish town in winter, most of the scenes taking place at night or in the evening. Oskar (Kare Hedebrant) is a twelve year old loner whose only attention at school is from the local bullies. One evening he meets a strange twelve year old girl named Eli (Lina Leandersson) who tells him that she recently moved into the next door apartment from his. With the hopes of finally having a friend, Oskar begins to spend more time with the girl despite her not really giving much information about who she is. Elsewhere, there is a series of murders in the small town, that unknown to Oskar is related to Eli. She is actually a vampire, with her ward getting too elderly to supply her with her regular blood supply (he being the one doing the killing), she has turned to Oskar, seeing something common with him due to both their social isolation, but not wanting him to share the same life long fate as her ward had.

This is nearly two hours in length but the time just flew by, despite me already remembering many of the story beats. I guess that shows how much the film had stuck in my mind, as I remembered key scenes from this, and even recalled how it ended, something I can't say I can do for many films. This is yet another example of a slow burn horror done right, and if you are after a peaceful film then this is a great example. There are screams every now and again, but for the most part this is a film that paces itself well, lots of scenes of not much noise, characters quietly speaking amongst themselves. The setting is perfect for the story being told, the snowy landscape adds a lot of atmosphere, and of course, red blood on white snow never fails to look good. Oskar was interesting as the bullied protagonist, having to put on the pretence of being happy while at home with his mother, keeping his unhappy existence a secret. Eli was also a great character, she doesn't talk much, but the increasing closeness between the two young teenagers felt natural, and I liked how there could be seen an ulterior motive for why Eli is getting close to the boy, something that is never implicitly brought up.

Being a vampire, Eli is shown able to climb sheer walls, have super strength, and an aversion to sunlight. There are plenty of scenes where she is attacking people, but this is always done in an understated way, or with the dramatic finale, mainly takes place away from the lingering shot from under a swimming pool. The violence never felt gratuitous, and was carefully considered, being used as and when the story required it. Blood effects look great here, the blood being the right colour and consistency to shine on camera. Special effects were also impressive, there was great make-up effects to show a character who had badly mutilated their face, a scene where a character bursts into flame, and an almost amusing scene when a character is attacked by multiple cats!

Rather than take the route of high action and high horror, this instead looks at the subject of a vampire from a more cursed perspective, with Eli doing what she needs to survive but not enjoying what she has to do, and Oskar finding an unlikely soulmate due to both being outcasts of a type. The story isn't deep, but it is effective, focussing more on the relationship between the two lead characters rather than a more extravagant story. I don't mind vampire films, and watching Let the Right One In, I was reminded of how good and different this particular one felt. Vertigo Releasing brought Let the Right One In to UK and Irish audiences across digital platforms on 20th January.

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Herman's Cure-All Tonic (2008) - Short Comedy Horror Film Review

At my work Christmas party I was sat next to a lady I had never spoken to before, and getting onto the subject of horror films she mentioned that Ari Aster's short films were worth checking out (Aster being the director of Midsommar and Hereditary). I wasn't even aware he had made any short films, so I was eager to give them a view. Herman's Cure-All Tonic was Aster's directorial debut. While rough around the edges, this avoided the stale pitfalls that many short horrors fall into.

Guy Perry stars as Harold, the new manager of a pharmacy that his father Herman (Sam Wilson - Casino) used to run. The place was known for a popular cure-all tonic that Herman had created, but customers have complained ever since Harold took over that it doesn't seem the same. One day, noticing Herman leaking a green fluid out of his belly button, Harold decides to bottle it up, and inadvertently sells it to a customer. He is surprised when the next day the customer returns, overjoyed with the effects of this new 'tonic'.

Kudos goes to this short for not feeling the need to end on a silly jump scare ending. Instead, the short has a very weird vibe, best shown with Perry, whose bizarre chemist role reminded me of Crispin Glover crossed with a skit from dark sketch show Jam. Being from 2008, the quality isn't fantastic, it could just be the version I watched however, as I'm not sure it was from an official source (though can easily be found on YouTube). There is none of the horror that Aster became known for, instead this opting for more of a gross angle, with the screenplay coming from Anayat Fakhraie.

Being the first of eight short horror films that Aster directed before launching into his successful feature length horror film career, Herman's Cure-All Tonic was interesting to see where he got his start. Even here, as rough as this felt in spots, the directing was good, and some interesting angles used, such as the reflection in a pair of glasses and the view from a curved mirror. I look forward to watching the rest of his short films.

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Home Made (2008) - Horror Film Review

If I did awards here at The Rotting Zombie then I think the delirious slasher Home Made would certainly achieve one. Not for anything good mind, as this has the dubious honour of being the most boring horror film I have watched this year. Written, directed, edited, produced, starring, and with music by Jason Impey (A Taste of Phobia segment 'Coprophobia', Faces of Snuff segment), this very indie horror could have been entertaining due to how poorly made it all is combined with its tongue being firmly in its cheek. The feature length runtime however meant that I was willing this to be over with long before the end credits rolled.

Impey stars as Jack Hess, a youthful looking egotistical serial killer who believes the snuff movies he makes of his exploits are the height of horror. Over one long day he goes on a rampage, killing various random strangers he encounters in woodland.

Home Made is extremely barebones when it comes to plot. So little happens here that it makes some of the later Friday the 13th movies feel like Shakespeare in comparison. I assumed the initial musical intro was just that, an intro. When ten minutes had passed and events still appeared to be the background to a dull music video I became slightly concerned, though at the end of this ninety minute movie I finally accepted that this was the vibe going for. From the opening moments to the end of the film, the same droning never ending music was playing. There are a few blissful moments here and there where the music cuts out for a few moments, but the same repetitive tune soon comes back. Even sat here in silence writing this review I can still hear the music playing in my head. I don't know if the music was consistent to mask the lack of story and dialogue, but with acting this bad it was probably needed. Outside of one actually entertaining monologue from the villian towards the film's end, there was barely more than a minute or two of dialogue during the whole movie. When characters did speak it felt like they were making up their lines as they went along, typically speaking in the most wooden way possible.

I'm almost convinced this was intended to be a comedy, and there are signs that point to that being the case. From the one default punch sound effect being used repeatedly (giving a 'slapping' noise instead of a 'punching' noise), to characters who are unable to run more than a few paces without falling over, and Hess himself who has some impressively stupid looking rolls along the ground (not even mentioning his faux American accent), this never looked anything other than terrible. I imagined at first the titular Home Made referred to the killer making snuff movies, but I think it might actually refer to the fact this horror did look like it was home made from a fan of horror films rather than an actual creator. To be fair to Imprey, he has an impressive number of films under his belt, with IMDB stating he has directed over a hundred films. For all its moments of comedy, these humorous moments get lost within the never ending tedium utilised to stretch this horror short into a feature length slog. Special mention goes to the scene in which Hess is chased for several minutes by a man angry that the killer has murdered his girlfriend. Upon eventually catching the madman, he punches him once, tells him to "f**k off!" and then walks off!
You would hope the kills would be the highlight, but despite Hess stating about how his kills are all in gruesome details on camera, the actual film often has the actual violence taking place slightly off camera, so that it is implied rather than shown. Maybe for the best, as one later kill sees Hess pulling what appears to be slices of sandwich ham out of his victims chest, while his main weapon of choice appears to be a blunt bread knife.

If Home Made had leant into the comedy more and cut out huge chunks of monotonous chases then this might have been more endurable. With long sections with literally nothing of note happening, I was ready to claw my eyes out, something only the more entertaining final fifteen minutes prevented. I will give kudos for the way this film ends though, Hess's final line was funny. I will end by saying, I guessed the filming location of Milton Keynes, so a shout out to myself. It was cool seeing a horror set in a nearby town to mine, just wish it had been better! Home Made has been released by VIPCO and BayView Entertainment on the streaming platform, Plex.

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Your Heart Belongs to Me (2008) by Dean Koontz - Horror Book Review

Back in June of this year I had just finished reading Dean Koontz' 1980 novel The Voice of the Night. I didn't think it was that amazing and wondered with some fear that the rest of the books of his I had, but which had never gotten around to reading, would turn out to also not be great. Thankfully then, I've just finished reading his 2008 novel Your Heart Belongs to Me and can report I thought it was a real page turner.

Ryan Perry has everything, an extremely wealthy internet entrepreneur with a beautiful girlfriend, his life seems perfect. That is until he learns he has developed a problem with his heart, and that unless he gets a replacement within a year he will likely die. A year later and a miracle has happened, with Ryan having received a heart transplant, things look like they can only get better going forward. But then he begins to be stalked by a malignant presence, someone who seems determined to ruin his life, and in particular really desires his new heart...

To begin with I didn't like the novel, the first few chapters having to deal with a person whose life was so wonderful and magical that it didn't feel remotely realistic. With soft hammer blows this life is deconstructed in such a way that I couldn't but help come to like the character of Ryan, especially when events happen that all can relate to. The book is split into three parts, the first being roughly the first half of the entire novel. What was strange about this was that the synopsis for the story only mentioned things post-Ryan getting a heart transplant, yet this all takes place before this. It almost serves as one gigantic red herring, Ryan increasingly getting paranoid that the cause of his illness is something that has been inflicted upon himself by others, and his search for this. I haven't read too many books of Koontz' but typically he deals with more realistic human enemies, on occasion he has had aliens or A.I but nothing I had read ever had supernatural elements. Here there is that suggestion, yet it is so swirled together with other ideas that it never seemed odd. The mystery of what is happening to Ryan, and the promise of malice to come kept me hooked and my mind contemplating endless reasons.

The length of part one did lead to some complications with my enjoyment of the rest, especially considering that part two is where a lot of the horror comes into play, yet being made up of 80 or so pages this all felt a bit rushed. From Ryan discovering someone has found a way to effortlessly bypass his home's security systems things very swiftly speed-up to the point where he is being physically attacked. It did feel like this should have had more time to really ramp up the events. The same can almost be said of part three, in which the story is obviously resolved, this time around 90 pages. It goes to a place that was unexpected in tone, and it perfectly made sense, especially with the revelations that follow the clues being solved, but I had hoped for something more dramatic.

There is a quote on the back of the book I have from the Independent on Sunday in which it states the book was "a read-in-one-go novel". Usually I wouldn't agree with such broad statements but I confess that is almost what happened with me. I only read on my lunch breaks in my day job, and when I do I balance my reading between magazines, physical books and ebooks. Yet the day after I started reading Your Heart Belongs to Me I found I was so invested in the story that this become my sole book. I did feel guilt at times with how easily written this was, it felt like I was reading the popcorn version of horror books, easy to read and with not too much depth into its story. I was a sucker for the simplicity of the writing, but it did make me stop and think at times, especially with something one character says "No, it's true. Human beings are such knotted desperate pieces of work - it's a rare thing to know one completely, to the core, and still love him, or her.", that really resonated with me.

Disposable, appeal to the masses fiction, or something with a deeper meaning to tell; either way, the speed with which I read Your Heart Belongs to Me was testament to how involved with it all I was. Sure it almost misses the landing, but by that point I was into this enough to have came away happy with what I had read, and with new hope that there may be plenty more gems in Koontz' back catalogue.

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Lake Mungo (2008) - Horror Film Review

Back at the start of 2018 I had the pleasure of interviewing horror director Andrew J.D Robinson, and when I questioned him about his favourite horrors he mentioned the Australian mocumentary Lake Mungo. This was once again brought to my attention a week or so back when it came up on a list of the most scary films you shouldn't watch alone, especially at night. Well, I wanted a good scare and so I decided to watch this alone and at night. It's easy to see this was a big inspiration on Robinson's mockumentary We Are the Missing, and while this did create a creepy atmosphere it sadly didn't haunt my dreams.

The mockumentary explores the strange events that were put into motion when teenager Alice Palmer (Talia Zucker) drowned in a lake while swimming with her brother Mathew (Martin Sharpe) on a family day trip in 2005. Her death was a huge blow for the family, especially for mother June (Rosie Taynor). Things began to get strange for the family when some photos and videos later taken by both the family and other people in the local community were found to contain an image of what appeared to be a girl matching Alice's appearance. Despite father Russell (David Pledger) having identified his daughters body, the Palmer family began to hope that maybe there had been a mistake and Alice was somehow still alive.

A necessary element of the mocumentary here is the talking heads sections, this includes friends and other family members of the Palmers, but mainly consists of Mathew, June and Russell. Due to this my expectations were tempered. As scary as the film was said to be, the main cast were not going to end up dead or even that traumatised, as they wouldn't be appearing on the fake doc if they were. The meat of this are the photos and video tapes that emerge after the death. Lake Mungo does a good job of drip feeding these to the viewer, they get more and more messed up as the film progresses, obviously with the best saved till last. An aspect I enjoyed is that the early photos are revealed to have more clues in them than is first suggested. Attention is drawn to what the filmmakers want you to see, so elements of the pictures that give greater clues are there for the world to see but unless you were looking for them they would pass you by.

AM1200 (2008) - Short Horror Film Review

A few months back I stumbled across a list of the best films to watch that were inspired by the works of that master of horror H.P Lovecraft (nowadays it has to also be stated he was also a master of racism). I made a note of the films on that list and have slowly been trying to watch them all. I found this list after viewing Resolution and it's spiritual sequel 

The Endless, and wanting more movies of that type. AM1200 is one of the films from that list and is a short forty minute horror that was written, produced and directed by David Prior, someone who is best known for making video documentaries.

Eric Lange (Fear, Inc., Lost) is Sam, a businessman on the run after having committed a crime against the company he worked for. While travelling down a lone highway he tries to tune his car radio and picks up a broadcast from a radio station on frequency AM1200. The broadcast is from a man who is begging for assistance from anyone who happens to hear his message. With the station relatively nearby Sam decides to check it out. By the time he gets to the remote station night has fallen, but with the place looking to be in a state of disrepair he decides not to investigate. Fate intervenes after his car breaks down, with the radio station the only building around for miles Same decides to go check it out after all.

I was very impressed with an early shot in this film. The camera pans over to a map of America, and as it centres on a particular road on the map the shot smoothly transitions into an aerial drone shot of Sam riding in his car. This was such a cool way to present the journey the protagonist had started on. To be truthful aside from this cool shot the intro didn't really initially get my attention. It was a bit confusing as to what was going on, there was more an insinuation of a crime having happened than anything being shown. The most notable bit from this prologue was a fun guest appearance from Ray Wise (Dead End, Twin Peaks).

Gears of War 2 (2008) - Sci-fi Horror Video Game Review (X-Box 360)

Having loved the first Gears of War video game I eagerly snapped up Gears of War 2 as soon as it was released back in 2008, and hated every second of it. I played through the game just the once and shelved it. I had no desire to ever return and over the years my memory of that experience faded so much that the only two bits of the game I could recall were being frustrated while trapped inside a giant worm, and the death of a key character. Memory is such a weird beast, playing through the game again not only did I have an absolutely fantastic time, but nothing felt familiar, it was like I was playing it for the first time. Gears of War was a great game, Gears of War 2 is a stunning game.

This sequel picks up six months after the events of the first. The lightmass bomb detonated at the climax of that one had been hoped to destroy the Locust's main stronghold (the Locust being an invading army of monsters from within the planet the game takes place in). Rather than finish off their enemy, the Locust assault only got delayed, they return seemingly more numerous and stronger than ever before. They are focussing their ire on the city of Jacinto, one of the last remaining strongholds of the COG army. In order to combat this threat, the COG decide to bring the fight to the Locust, sending in an army to their main network of tunnels. The hope is to locate the Locust Queen, and with her death bring an end to the never ending war.

What a game this was, though initially at the outset I had a brief feeling my jaded memories would hold up. The game starts in a much larger scale than the first game. While you are in a squad of usually four characters you are battling alongside others and so the story felt less focused on singular characters than previously. It isn't too long when it starts to feel much more insular, the game always feels at its best when you are isolated from outside help. As with the first game Marcus Fenix (voiced by John DiMaggio) is the character you control, and like the first game he spends much of his time with his war buddy Dom (Carlos Ferro). The first game had Dom briefly mention he was looking for his missing wife, Maria, here that goal is brought to the forefront. Dom never had much personality to him before, this time he is constantly shown frustrated and desperately missing his Maria. This focus even includes several dream sequences that he has. It was a bit odd this transformation in his character, but by keeping it on Dom and not on Marcus the game gets away with this sentimental aspect. Along the way a variety of others join your squad, the best being again the amusing double act of Baird (Fred Tatasciore) and Cole (Lester Speight). Their inclusion was a joy, mainly as a lot of the game has them off doing other things, so the few times you get to spend time with them were highlights.

The Mill (2008) - Horror Film Review

The Mill is a really weird slasher film that was directed by actor Grainger Hines in his only directorial role, and written by Harry L. Welch Jr. The weirdness whether on purpose or not is what at the very least makes this indie horror memorable. It takes a heck of a long time to get going but there were a few standout actors mixed in with all the non adventure.

Six friends, Shawn, Amber, Whitney, Jesse, Madison and Kyle have organised a private party at an abandoned mill. They plan to have plenty of sex and alcohol while there. As part of their plan they have befriended weird rich kid Nick (Robert Rainbolt) who can get keys to the mill as his father owns it, they also invite the geeky Cari along so that there isn't an odd number of boys and girls. As the party progresses the eight all separate into couples and head off to various parts of the mill, and it is here that each pair begins to run into trouble due to the animal infested building. Unknown to them all there is a hidden killer, someone who may well have a hand in the misery each of them are discovering.

The prologue takes place in the present with police and ambulance crews all over the mill, as a reporter explains that bodies of various high schoolers have been found after a massacre. The rest of the movie then skips back to the previous day to show how the friends all ended up dead. I do like that way of telling a story as it cements the fact that bad stuff is going to occur. My issue was how darn long it takes for anything to happen, I was clock watching and it was pretty much exactly halfway into the film that the first moment of horror occurs, that's 45 minutes into a 90 minute film. I guess it is good The Mill wasn't boring up to that point, but it sure didn't really do much to explain why the set-up took so long. 

Predators or Prey? (2008) by Scott Harper - Horror Book Review

Predators or Prey? is a horror novel that both shames me and makes me a little bit relieved. Scott Harper's vampire book shames me as he sent it my way some seven years ago, that's a hell of a long turn around to reading it. Something I can only put down to laziness and having a string of bad luck concerning eBook readers. I nowadays tell anyone who sends an eBook novel my way; you may be waiting a long long time for a review to go live, but it will eventually happen. Having finally read this one I just have to make the best out of an embarrassing situation.

Wendy and Jacob are a couple who travel the backroads of America, with Wendy's young brother Glen along for the ride. They purport to hunt vampires, but in reality they are swindlers who con their gullible clients by pretending to hunt the creatures. One fateful night however they are horrified to discover vampires actually do exist, after they stumble across a group of them at a graveyard. The two pretenders manage to bumble their way into not only killing a couple of them, but also accidentally burn down the vampires hideout. After fleeing the town, a grizzled man named Teague approaches them and offers his assistance, as he assures the pair that the bloodsuckers will be hot on their trail to get revenge. It seems though that the vampires may turn out to be the least of their troubles...

Predators or Prey? got off to a bit of a rocky start with me as I just could not stand the smug, self absorbed protagonists of Wendy and Jacob. It was good then that the book charts not only their misadventure, but also the demolishing of their relationship. Jacob in particular is a character whose presentation is destroyed over the course of the story, on the surface a cool, assured character, but he hides a cowardly side. Wendy was a character who I liked a lot of the time, but I didn't like how sexulised she was. On at least three separate occasions she is naked in front of a mirror admiring her own body, while she appears to be irresistible to any male character she meets. From priests to shop clerks and motel owners, all are completely hypnotised by her breasts. I know large chested people in real life, and while they get more of that sort of attention than others, not to the degree which it happens in this novel. It just became a little farcical. Outside of the physical appearance I did think she was not a bad protagonist. Her adventure shapes her into someone willing to do the right thing, while with Jacob it shapes him into someone who just wants to look after his own skin.

There are plenty of vampires here, and plenty of action with them assaulting Wendy and Jacob. I liked where the story went, it gave me vibes of Near Dark with the small American towns the two travel through. The detail on the vampires is cool, with many descriptions of damage inflicted on them, and descriptions of the fluids and blood they are covered in. I also liked how many of the tropes for these creatures work here. From needing permission to enter homes, to being afraid of crucifixes, holy water and sunlight, most the tropes are present and are fun to see explored. I liked how the story wrapped itself around so that when the conclusion happens it has all gone full circle. I also liked the misdirection that the middle part of the book becomes. This is a simple story that was told in an enjoyable way. Without subplots, and by following around Jacob and Wendy for the entire story everything is focussed on their plight which helps with keeping events insular.

Predators or Prey? was an entertaining modern day vampire story that featured plenty of action. The protagonists may be very flawed in their own ways but I was interested to see how this tale of revenge would play out, and I can't say I was disappointed. It may lack complexity, but this focus on the one single storyline worked out well. Predators or Prey? can be purchased in paperback here.

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Marvel Zombies 3 (2008-2009) - Horror Graphic Novel Review

I was really not sure about the direction that the third series of Marvel Zombies comics would go. I knew that the story here didn't follow on from the cliffhanger ending of Marvel Zombies 2, that one picks up with Marvel Zombies Return that is on my reading list down the line. My concerns was that this third one was either a complete reboot, or was its own separate entity completely. Once I finally got over myself and gave this a read I was delighted that it ties in neatly to what has gone before.

Marvel Zombies 3 was a 4 part mini-series that interestingly takes place both in the Marvel Zombie Universe, but more importantly in the main Marvel Universe, where the events are automatically more important due to being the home of most the heroes and villains of Marvel comics. A team of Z-list super heroes who work for A.R.M.O.R (Alternate Reality Monitoring and Operational Response Agency) are called out to a reported incident of a reality breach in a Louisiana swamp. What they discover are the walking dead, and totally unprepared they nearly get wiped out. It seems zombie Deadpool from a different reality where everyone is infected with an undead virus, has managed to get to this version of Earth with the aim of spreading the disease to all life. After the survivors of this fight manage to stop the outbreak from spreading any further, Morbius, who works at A.R.M.O.R HQ decides a vaccine must be created just in case any more undead manage to find a way to this reality. The only problem is that to do this some volunteers must travel to the zombie reality to get a blood sample from an uninfected human there. Being robots Machine Man and Jocasta are the ones sent, but not everything is as it first appears...

After a very confusing start this soon became a very good graphic novel. To be fair it was confusing because I was impatient to discover if this was in any way related to the other books and so had little patience. The actual story here in the overall timeline is between the first and second books, this occurs around a year after the first book and reveals that there were far more Marvel super heroes and villains still around on Earth than there appeared to be. Here a whole cast of characters live under the rule of zombie Kingpin. I really didn't know who a lot of the characters featured here actually where, if names like The Conquistador, Siege and Machine Man mean anything to you then you are a bigger fan than me. In my anti-defence if a character hasn't turned up in a film then to me they are Z-list. Ones I did recognise that I haven't yet mentioned off the top of my head are Vulture, Ghost Rider, Dr. Strange and Man-Thing.

The Killing Death (2008) - Comedy Horror Film Review

The Killing Death (directed and written by Ian Russell) is a low budget comedy horror that was inspired by the films of the legendary Herschell Gordon Lewis (Blood Feast, Two Thousand Maniacs!). Lewis was credited for creating the 'splatter' subgenre of horror films, a genre that focuses on gore and graphic violence. As is always the way I avoided reading anything about this film before watching it but was pleasantly surprised to find that the shoe string budget didn't get in the way of what is for the most part quite the funny movie.

Seasoned detective Frank (Jeremy Dangerfield - R.L. Stine's The Haunting Tour) and his rookie partner Jimmy (Tyhr Trubiak - Tempus Tormentum) are investigating a series of grisly murders that have taken place around the city they work in one long night. At each crime scene a victim has had a different body part removed. Meanwhile crazed pizza delivery guy Phil (Neil Reimer) is on a mission to collect ingredients for a very special pizza he is making...

The joy of not reading anything about this before watching was that it took me a little while to realise this was a comedy. I thought the script was very corny but it soon become very apparent this was of course on purpose. This is a film that starts off almost as a straight horror but becomes more and more farcical as it goes along. Leading this comedic adventure is Dangerfield who gets the most ridiculous lines, speaking mainly in tired cliches. His inept detective work, as well as his look, and the way he speaks really reminded me of Leslie Nielsen's Frank Drebin from Police Squad, in fact the only thing missing was him also giving narration. Much of the humour comes from the dialogue between the characters, usually between Frank and the straight man that is Jimmy. An early example of an exchange between them: "Sure is a nice night" "For a murder" "...I meant there wasn't a lot of traffic" "A quiet street hides a killer, never forget that Jimmy" "but we're in a suburb" "Hell is a suburb, where all the bad guys hang out together". The Killing Dead is littered with such ridiculous conversations throughout that on at least two different occasions made me laugh out loud. The highlight of this was a scene involving Jimmy interviewing a very jaded janitor.

Semester's End (2008) - Horror Film Review

Semester's End is a low budget indie horror that uses the classic idea of a slasher operating on a college campus. I wouldn't say this is a good film, the identity of the killer is painfully obvious from the start, no one seems to act that naturally and all the kills either take place either off camera, or in between scenes. However at 70 minutes this doesn't outstay its welcome at all and was not actually something that was a hard watch, it was entertaining regardless of the overall quality.

Allison Bloch stars as Rachel: a teaching assistant at a college, a college which is being plagued by a serial killer. No one, police included have any idea who is doing this foul murders, but in the world this movie takes place in no one is really that bothered either. As the body count rises Allison and her new lover Mike (Sam Masotto) find themselves caught up in it all, but just who could this deranged slasher be?

I genuinely did not mind this film at all, it had a lot of issues but regardless I was not the slightest bit bored, in fact the opposite, in a trashy kind of way this was great. The main issue was just how all the characters act in Semester's End, no one seems that worried that students are being picked off by an unknown assailant. The police presence seems to consist of one clueless gruff detective, so incompetent are they that their prime suspect: the lecturer that Rachel assisted went on the run from the law...but never actually left the campus. Rachel the perpetually horny tutor is a weird protagonist, having just came off an affair with a married man her next lover is a student from her class and sees nothing at all wrong with this. The student Mike looks older than she is and again seems nonplussed about all the murders. Both of them are happy to cover up crimes of their own without a care in the world, maybe it was a secret aspect of the film that the campus was a special place for sociopaths to study?

Demon Resurrection (2008) - Horror Film Review

While Demon Resurrection was released back in 2008 it was not a widely watched film due to what William Hopkins (the director and writer) refers to as 'less than entirely successful attempt at self distribution'. The film was created as a homage to the horror films of the 1970's and also works as an imitation of early 80's horrors.

A bunch of friends of a woman named Grace turn up to her and her new boyfriend's house to hold an intervention. Grace used to be a wild outgoing girl but has now become sickly and withdrawn so her friends fear she has become a drug addict. By conversations with the couple it becomes clear that something more sinister may be to blame. John is a paranormal researcher and via his work Grace came to join a demon worshipping cult where she was drugged and impregnated with demon spawn before John was able to rescue her. Now the leader of the cult; the rich and charismatic Toth has arrived to get Grace back and he will go to any means necessary, he will even raise the dead...

From the bare bones title alone you can tell this is a film that knows exactly what it is and it falls into it's genre comfortably. Demon Resurrection is old school in every sense of the word, at times reminding me of The Evil Dead (1981) and also with strong resemblance to the Amando De Ossorio Blind Dead quartet, especially when it comes down to monster design. The film was filmed on a very small budget but it is actually surprisingly good looking with some decent acting and great effects used, and some delightful scenes of gruesome violence.

There are zombies in this film, that is a good thing, a very good thing in fact as it actually led me to having a really awesome zombie apocalypse dream the night I watched it. What is not so good is the digital effects used to create a green mist around these undead beasts, the effect reminded me of the type of effect used in the kids horror show Goosebumps. The rest of the special effects are really great though, no CGI violence here, all real. At first it seemed whenever someone got killed it would happen just off screen but just when I began to think that would be the norm for the rest of the film some great deaths happen in full view, my favourite being someone who is dragged out a broken window and gets their stomach sliced open on the jagged glass remains and ends up with their insides falling out, looked great. The trauma effects can seem fake but this just adds to the charm, one character whose face becomes very mutilated asks meekly if she looks ok not realising the extent of her injuries, a fun little scene that reminded me of a similar bit in Hostel.

Back onto zombies - they are ancient and almost more skeleton looking than the traditional zombie style, they have skull heads which while not able to move do look quite cool even if in some shots you can see the eye holes in the back of the empty eye sockets. Also these are some lethal creatures, seemingly even getting touched by these leads to pain and misery, their arms most be made of razor blades or something, this makes every encounter the characters have with these really quite thrilling and made me wince once or twice; you wouldn't believe the injuries just trying to push one of these skeletal undead off a makeshift ladder would cause! Also some other creatures that appear look fantastic it must be said.

While it does imitate these 70's and 80's horror's well there are some things which are not quite so great. First off there is an early sex scene which was really quite soppy and didn't bring anything to the film that we didn't already know. The female characters on the whole appear to be more weak than the males, often if a character encounters a zombie they will just stand there screaming, frozen to the spot, to be fair male characters do act this way too but to a lesser degree. The low budget can be seen occasionally which doesn't really take anything away, as I said the acting is actually decent, just stuff like the fact the good guys and the bad guys are both meant to have an identical magical book and yet the books are never seen together (as obviously there is only the one physical book prop).

The plot is quite simple but does have echoes of a H.P Lovecraft story with tales of demons from other realms and ancient cults. I loved that there was a mid film twist where the character you assume is the hero becomes replaced with another character who then becomes the film's hero. All in all the characters are likeable, even the irritating ones are fine really, the main bad guy seems to have too little screen time but other than that it is a fun enough yarn.

Demon Resurrection does what it sets out to do and does it well, certainly not scary (though the third part with a Night of the Living Dead style house assault was exciting and well done). A great throwback to when horror films were more about being a thrill ride rather than just trying to be mean, dark and depressing.

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Armageddon of the Dead (2008) - Zombie Horror Film Review

Armageddon of the Dead is the third in the trilogy of zombie films my best friend lent me. Now I am utterly sick of zombie films dramatically lying on their covers to try and sell a film. For whatever reason most zombie films feature a cover that has a burning city along with thousands upon thousands of zombies. This one has perhaps the most ridiculous one yet, I am more than half convinced it isn't even the right cover for the film, I mean look at it! The tag line is 'Hell has destroyed the world...now Hell has to pay" Really? Really?! Nothing relating to that damn cover, or that utterly unrelated tag line has anything to do with what happens in this film!

Jenny and Sam Mills drop off their young child at Jenny's parents house one seemingly normal evening. Returning home they go to bed, while Sam's troublesome younger brother sleeps on the couch. The next day Jenny heads out to do some shopping when she realises zombie Armageddon has begun (due to a train carrying dangerous chemicals derailing near the town). Racing home to warn her husband she finds out him and Nick have already encountered the dead. Together they head to her parents house to get the daughter, but the house is empty. A radio station informs them to head to their nearest community centre to be evacuated, so there they go hoping to find the kid.

Wow, this film is a true stinker, a real chore to watch. Now zombie films can be bad and still have redeeming features, but this is just plain bad and really falls on the boring side of badness. For whatever reason every single scene feels really, really long. Early on for example Sam has barricaded a zombie in his bathroom and is desperately calling for Nick to wake up and come help him, this whole scene should have been over in moments yet I could swear it was at least five tedious minutes it went on for. This happens again and again, what should be brief and poignant scenes drag into tearfully agonising eternities as the convoluted and stodgy script calls for characters to just drone and drone on at each other in the most soul sucking ways. The script is awful, no amount of acting can make what the characters say seem at all natural.

No one seems to be into their roles, the couple searching for their daughter acts as if it is a set of keys they have lost, or that they have mislaid their phone, no sense of urgency, pretty much no emotion is summoned by either actors. Hard to root for people who come across as sociopaths! The character of Nick (played by Jason Harper) is designated as comedy character which fits very badly into this realistic world director Damon Crump is attempting to create. Issues such as racial tensions, and the power of the military is extremely ham fistedly jammed into the film, terribly and unsubtly done.

Zombies are really not well treated here, some look great, some have really cool prosthetics on them to make them look really messed up. It is so patchy though, most the zombies just seem to have had some fake blood flicked on them, or blue veins painted on to the sides of their faces. It is so inconsistent that I wonder if the people playing the zombies were asked to provide their own make up. Scenes that involve a crowd of zombies really demonstrate this lack of clarity. Some have no pupils, some look wild eyed, others look and act normal as if they were not aware they were meant to be zombies. The one good thing about these undead is that there are a lot of them, or seems to be in places.

What if anything does Armageddon do right? They have ruined streets down with plenty of smashed and empty vehicles. I also get the sad impression that it is kind of a realistic impersonation of what a real outbreak would be like. Everyone is panicked and useless, arguing, or sitting in mute silence, and unprepared to be able to fight the dead. Old tropes rear their ugly heads. People who refuse to believe their loved ones now visibly transformed into drooling flesh hungry ghouls are actually infected at all, zombies who walk around with their arms out straight in front of them, and cars that conveniently run out of petrol. No one knows to aim for the head, and no one knows a bite will result in being turned, so unlikely!

Armageddon of the Dead was a somehow boring film whose low budget destroys any of the set pieces it tries to create. This has been done a million times better in a million different films. Avoid like the plague! To end; apologies for the terrible images, I really need to start taking my own pictures for my reviews.

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Condemned 2 (2008) - Horror Video Game Review (X-Box 360)

I have often said that Condemned: Criminal Origins is one of my favourite games of all time, though a launch title for the XBox 360 it still remains an enjoyable and really darn scary game. News of Condemned 2 filled me with joy but when I actually played it my hopes were dashed as it removed everything that was good from Condemned and filled in the gaps with bad ideas.

Condemned 2 takes place nearly a year after the events of the first game where FBI agent Ethan Thomas had been framed for murder. Thomas has quit the FBI and now a homeless alcoholic he spends his time in seedy bars getting drunk. A key character from Condemned; Malcolm Vanhorn is found dead, and so Thomas is returned to the SCU (Serial Crime Unit) to aid them with their investigation. His investigation uncovers a plot to kill key members of a secret organisation by the thought to be dead SKX (the villain of the first game) that may be linked to the ever escalating violence in the city.

Oh dear, what has happened? Condemned was scary, mysterious, atmospheric, this is none of those things. The locations of Condemned helped to make for a foreboding atmosphere being as it was set in a series of condemned locations ranging from an apartment store to a library and subway station. Here the locations are just not that great. So many of the levels just do not feel right and feel like created places rather than real ones. Case in point is one of the games earlier levels set in an abandoned doll factory. It should be creepy as hell; dolls are creepy right? Not here, you are assaulted by a bizarre number of robotic exploding dolls, and even attacked by a crazed girl wielding a deadly lollipop saw but there is no fear there at all.

Hidden through the game are some gems, a level set in a museum under renovation has you battling security guards as well as looters who have dressed themselves up in ancient armour, all around you are display cases ready to be smashed open to get weapons to defend yourself with such as a crossbow and numerous medieval swords, another level that sees you pursuing an escaped serial killer through a bowling alley, closed school and other random buildings is quite fun. There are a load of terrible levels, one set in the SCU building is so bright and sterile that it feels like you have been transported into F.E.A.R while another set during riots is just plain frustrating due to terrible signposting.

The combat has been shaken up this time around. Weapons now break after extended use and your useful taser has been relegated to a limited use tool that doesn't even pop up until a third of the way into the game. Combat is more complicated and doesn't have the oomph that your desperate battles in Condemned had. Guns have sadly increased significantly with some levels being nothing but gunfights. Brings me onto another bugbear; enemies are no longer just the homeless and drugged up, you now frequently fight a rogue SWAT team armed with assault rifles. Monsters have also increased with annoying oil creatures which crawl out of walls as well as in the later stages annoying enemies who must be killed from afar (up close the screen blurs and shakes so much that it is literally impossible to see what the heck is going on). Might also add that a freaking mutant grizzly bear chases you throughout one level!

The plot of Condemned was ambiguous, never made clear if all the paranormal stuff Ethan witnessed was all in his head, mostly it stuck to realism. Here the games plot is needlessly explained, most of the questions are answered too much, and the reveal of an ancient secret organisation pulling the strings is a real hoky let down. The plot is pretty terrible, only really the subplot is any good. Several of the earlier levels take place during riots, discarded radios provide details of how the riots are progressing and you frequently get caught up in them. After the last week of the London riots this was strangely relevant. Hidden around levels are TVs and Radio's that feature news reports on the events taking place in the city, including the cautionary tale of a reporter who went undercover as a homeless man and what happened to him. The game flings a load of naff plot twists at the games conclusion no doubt for a hoped sequel.

Minor but irritating issues include Ethan Thomas himself who has managed to change race. He used to be a fat Hispanic man but has changed somehow into a muscular very pale white man. Your partner Rosa was a fat woman but has been reinvented here as a younger looking, slim one, least she kept her race. Really odd design choices!

This game is so disappointing, in places it shines but this is too infrequent. The fear has been sucked out of Condemned and a unique almost FPS brawler has been turned into at times just another FPS. The story is so bad that it even impacts on the previous game ruining all its mysteries. Condemned 2 is well made and can be entertaining in places but extremely disheartening to play, I really would have preferred no sequel to this travesty (almost).

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