Afro Samurai (2009) - Action Videogame Review

Do you remember that bit in Kill Bill Part 1? Of course you do, everyone does. Now imagine a whole game based around that whole concept of being a badass armed with a samurai sword lopping off limbs left right and centre. Add a hip-hop soundtrack tinged with traditional Japanese and Western sounds and serve with some Samuel Jackson at his wise cracking mo-fo best. The result is Afro Samurai - a very cool 3D brawler set in a steampunk version of feudal Japan.

You play as the titular Afro Samurai, unsurprisingly a Samurai with an Afro. As a child he witnessed the murder of his father by the 'number one headband' - a skeletal cowboy. So in present day he is on a murderous rampage to avenge the death. The mythic of the Afro Samurai world is that there exists two magical headbands. Number one headband is said to grant the power of a God, whilst number two headband is required to have the right to challenge the owner of the number one headband. So all owners of the number two headband spend their life constantly being attacked by all and sundry.

The game looks amazing, it has a cel shaded look which goes well seeing as how the game is based on an anime. The voice acting is amazing. Samuel Jackson stars as Ninja Ninja - a weird ghost type being that only Afro can see, and who adds mostly hilarious wise cracks to the situations the deathly serious Afro gets into. Also featured is Ron Perlman (of Hellboy fame) who does the voice of Justice - the murderer of Afro's father. The game is ultra violent. Arms, legs, feet, hands, and heads are severed. People are sliced in half both vertically and horizontally, even diagonally all accompanied by torrents of blood. All this makes you feel so powerful; wading into vast groups of enemy samurais, ninjas, androids and stooges, limbs flying everywhere.

The combat has a tactical edge to it, there are many combos varying between kicks, hard attacks, and normal attacks with a handy slow mo button. It never gets boring. The game is broken up with a variety of boss battles. Some great such as a free-fall battle against a jetpack wearing robot, others not so good - the end of game boss had an extra weapon in the form of an abysmal camera which kept swinging wildly about making Afros location a pain to locate.
Overall the game was fantastic. Looks, and sounds great, has a stylish dark story, is humorous, and is very bloody.

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Halloween:Remake - Horror Film Review

Last year I saw Rob Zombie's Halloween 2 - the Halloween 2 remake at the cinema. I loved it. Now I have seen Rob Zombie's Halloween. The film is not as good as it's sequel, but makes the sequel better, and still is a good film despite some small faults.

The Laurie Strode of this film is far more closer in character to Jaime Lee Curtis's Laurie. She's a slightly geeky school girl who baby-sits in her spare time. She's more normal than the almost abnormally innocent Laurie of the original Halloween. The Laurie Strode of Halloween 2 is fucked up, and damaged, so it's cool to see that her character was made that way by the events of this film, and that she's normal in this one.

The film is near 2 hours long, and about half of the film is set in the past. A lot of time is spent on Michael Myers as a child, being bullied at school by other students, and bullied at home by his step father, and also torturing small animals. Before the young Dr Sam Loomis is able to assess Michael, Michael goes psychotic, viciously killing a student, his step father, his older sister, and her boyfriend. It is only about an hour of the film actually spent in the present day.



I enjoyed the film, the usual beautiful violence of Rob Zombies films, and lots of use of the classic Halloween score. The film much more closely follows the events of the original film than Halloween 2 does of it's inspiration. Malcolm McDowell’s portrayal of Sam Loomis is a far more sympathetic one than in Halloween 2.

One thing that is odd is that Laurie is severely messed up by the events of this film, yet not a lot really happens to her. She does get hurt, but indirectly, not as a result of any purposeful violence from Michael. Her friend on the other hand is not only viciously attacked, but sees her boyfriend killed, yet is much less affected (as seen in Halloween 2). It is odd that Laurie is so much more twisted by Myers.


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Top 10 Horror Films of 2009

Finally, a bit late but my Top 10 films of 2009 is done. I have included some films released in previous years, but 2009 was the first year I had seen them...

10. Diary of the Dead

George Romero's Land of the Dead was terrible. I was not expecting much from this, but being a POV Blair Witch style film changed the staleness the series had gotten to, as did restarting the zombie apocalypse rather than carry on with the crapness of intelligent zombies started in Land. A fun and well done film.

9. The Last House on the Left

A grim remake of a supposedly grim original. I was actually a bit scared going into see this due to the legacy of the original. I knew it wasn't going to be a fun ride, but it was interesting. The entire cast - both the good guys and bad guys were attractive. Also is the first film I've seen where people in the Cinema have left in disgust half way through.

8. Paranormal Activity

Definitely the scariest film I have seen in the Cinema. Went with everything the Blair Witch did and changed up the setting from Woods to a suburban home. The transitions between the peaceful normalcy of daytime, and the nightmare of the twilight hours was fantastic.

7. Zombieland

Not as good as Shaun of the Dead, but still a really funny zombie film. Not really a horror hence it's position. Endearing characters, great humour, and a fantastic guest appearance who steals the show. Amazing.

6. Orphan

Killer twist! The usual evil kid film, but still managed to feel fresh despite that. Bad memories of seeing it as saw it with nasty people, but fond memories of the film itself.

5. Planet Terror

One half of the Tarantino/Rodirequiz double bill. Recently kinda saw Tarantino's Death Proof which was cool, but I think this is the better film. Zombies, Bruce Willis, and a girl with a machine gun for a leg - what more could you want!?

4. Drag me to Hell

Sam Raimi's return to Horror. A morality tale with a girl being rather harshly cursed by a old Gypsy. Really funny in places, and has a character called Clay so must be good.

3. Awaken the Dead

Another low budget zombie film. Innovative use of filters and lighting, great acting, and a general sense of persecution and paranoia combine to make a great experience!

2. Halloween 2 (Remake)

Fantastic, amazing, really grimy and mean. I was not expecting anything good from Rob Zombies remake, but I loved the whole messed up feel to the characters, especially the Laurie Strode character. As a result of seeing this I have ordered Halloween Remake (which I have not see yet)

1. Jennifer's Body

The trailer for this film is terrible, but the film is so good! I was blown away by just how funny and exciting this film was. Has a real 'cool' factor to it, and attractive female leads. My film of 2009!

Top 10 Horror games of 2009

Ho Ho Ho, and Merry Christmas. Couldn't find me video of Home Alone, so missed out on some classic Christmas Horror.

Below is my list of the top 10 Horror Videogames of 2009. I will try and keep it focused on games that came out this year, but will also include some I played for the first time this year which may have come out earlier.

10. Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia (Nintendo DS)

This is a cheeky choice, as I only brought it today, and have played about an hour of it. I absolutely love the Metroidvania style of the handheld Castlevania's, so know I will love it, and so far it is good, with cool bosses, and the same old cast of monsters.

9. Zombies Ate my Neighbours (Virtual Console)

This finally came out on the Virtual Console after years of rumour, come out fittingly on Halloween. I owned this on the Megadrive as a child. It is a good game, with ace music, but not as good as my rose tinted specs remembered.

8. I Maed a Gam3 w1th zomb1es in it (X-Box Indie Games)

I have the spelling wrong in this title I'm sure. There are many many Zombie Indie games out now, but this was the 1st (Well 2nd after a Pac-Man style Zombie one). The game is a twin stick shooter which sees you fending off waves of Zombies, Pixel Blocks and Blobs of Goo while an insane song is played. Very well made, and the best of the crowded Indie Zombie games. One day I must do a proper review of them all.

7. House of the Dead: Overkill (Wii)

An original House of the Dead game with a fantastic Grind house style to it. Mature if you count lots of gore, and amazing use of the F-Bomb as mature. The locations are varied, but slightly let down by really easy bosses, and dare I say it - too many zombies, and not enough other types of enemy (In fact I don't think there are any other enemies other than zombies.

6. Silent Hill 5 (X-Box 360)

I have wanted to play this game for the longest time. Having done so now there's just something about it that isn't fresh. It is a good game, but very Silent Hill by numbers. The graphics are the best they have ever been, but they just look too clean and crisp, and not grimy like they need to be.

5. Resident Evil 5 (X-Box 360)

I was so unsure about this game that I actually rented it at first rather than buy it. While I missed out a lot due to having to suffer the awful A.I partner rather than a human I was pleasantly surprised by this. Definitely not a horror game, it has mutated too much for that, but as a Resident Evil game it was good mainly for all the story, and cool Wesker moments.

4. Persona 4 (Playstation 2)

Another game I had wanted to play for ages. This is a RPG like no other. Playing as a young man you enter a TV and battle strange creatures at night, while attending School during the day. A fantastic soundtrack, and intriguing story revolving around strange murders. Only a small way into the game (About 15 hours) but I feel it's going to stay good. UPDATE: It lasted me 90 plus hours, was fantastic!

3. Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass (Nintendo DS)

I got this as it was cheap. I have never been keen on the Zelda games, too much similarity. This was a really fun game though. Very easy, but addictive, and cute. Amazing boss battles, and the touch screen controls worked real well.

2. Left 4 Dead 2 (X-Box 360)

I had no intention to get this, but then did anyway. Improves on the first in every way. The introduced Melee combat makes the game feel totally fresh compared to the original. Some fantastic missions (The rain level for instance). Again I just wish I had people to play it with.

1. Borderlands (X-Box 360)

This game is so addictive! A fantastic MMO style first person shooter RPG, like an arcady version of Fallout 3. It is included in the Top 10 Horror games of 2009 as the first DLC is very heavily Zombie based. Taking place on a dark mysterious island. There are an insane amount of zombies in this game, I very nearly got zombie fatigue. A very very very good game, it will suck your life away!

Awaken the Dead (2007) - Zombie Film Review

To be honest, most indie films are dreadful. Bad acting and badly shot films are almost never good. Awaken the Dead is a very good film though, and very original.

A young priest awakens to find a cryptic letter by his bed summoning him to the house of his ex-boss. Arriving there he is confronted by the boss's angry daughter. She too reveals she was left a note; hers telling her not to leave the house. Before long the house is under siege by hordes of zombies. With no TV, radio or phone signal the two are isolated from the outside world. Reinforced doors, and shatter proof glass along with a CD containing details of a secret government experiment leads them to the conclusion the 'Boss' had known a zombie outbreak was to happen, and so brought these two to the safety of his house. The priest notes there is a shady man in black taking notes outside the house, a man who the zombies ignore. Trapped from the outside world the two, along with a few random survivors from outside must find a way to survive the apparent zombie apocalypse.

The film is a indie film, but looks amazing and unique. The film is shot in a grainy style, and all the colours are washed out making everything seem light brown and white almost. This gives the film a real dream like quality to it. I can't explain really how, but the theme of the film really makes the zombie apocalypse seem like an event designed purely to make the two main characters (both with shady, mysterious pasts) confront their demons and become better people as a result, like the whole apocalypse was really made with them in mind.

The acting is mostly of a good standard, and the music is fantastic. Most the tracks are from two different groups - a female fronted group called Jenae, and a more metal based group called Edible Clowns and the Gentle Fracture. Their music really fits the isolated feeling of the characters. The plot is quite interesting, and even brought to mind traces of Kill Bill in places.

Awaken the Dead was really worth picking up, a really good indie film!

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Top 5 Christmas Horror Films (list created 2009)

Christmas is coming and the geese are getting fat, the chainsaws are revving, so here's my top 5 Christmas films in a turkey bap...God...

5. Black Christmas (1974)

One of the very first slasher films. This sees a house full of young women at Christmas being killed off one by one. It is original in that the killer is never shown. All you see is the killers eye looking through keyholes in doors, and the killers perspective of the murders. Also contains a nice twist ending, and a play on the urban legend of the threatening phone calls being made from within the same house they are aimed at.

4. Jack Frost (1997)

A very funny slasher film with a difference. A killer on death row is being transported to another prison when the van he's in crashes. He lands in some toxic waste and is transformed into a Snowman! He causes havoc around a small snowy town killing the towns inhabitants via Christmas themed methods (Seem to recall him strangling someone with Christmas lights).  Like Freddy Kruger he is constantly wise cracking. Very entertaining, just avoid the utterly dreadful low budget sequel.

3. Home Alone (1990)

Similar in tone to such grizzlies as Last House on the Left. This film sees a young psychotic boy called Kevin (played by Macaulay Culkin) accidentally left home alone over Christmas. It is left up to him to stop two murderous and brutal criminals who are intent on robbing the houses in his empty neighbourhood with increasingly violent and deadly methods. Very sick and disturbing torture porn.

2. Gremlins (1984)

Both this and the sequel are classic films. While the second descended into farce this stays mostly comedic horror. The gremlins (created when a Mogwai called Gizmo gets wet) rampage around a small American town, and are genuinely scary in places, and murder quite a few people. A little known fact is the original plot for this film was much darker, with the main character's mother actually stabbed to death by the Gremlins early in the film.

1. A Nightmare before Christmas (1993)

While incorporating both Halloween and Christmas themes it is more a Christmas film, with many songs about Christmas, and the main plot revolving around the event. A fantastic Tim Burton stop motion film.

Of course the very best non-horror Christmas film is the mighty Batman Returns.

Lists!!!

Because I am cool I keep lists of every single book, game and film I read/play/watch. As it's coming to the end of the year I will be doing lists of my top 10 horror themed stuff. Look out for that over the coming few weeks!

I mostly read books about the two world wars, so I am not sure if that particular list will be able to have 10 entries. As for films and games though I have more than enough to fill up those. This year has been the very worst of my life, yet on the flipside has been a good year for my blog. Heres hoping that next year will be better, and that horror and zombies continue to reign supreme!

P.S: I will be doing a Top 5 Christmas Horror films list very soon also, I think I can think of 5 Christmas based good films!

Streets of Rage 2 - Action Videogame Review (Megadrive)

Streets of Rage 2 is superior in almost every way to the original, and is observed by some (me included) to be the very best example of a scrolling beat-em-up ever made. The graphics are beefier, with bigger sprites, the music is amazing, and the presentation is top notch. All enemies have energy bars now which is a welcome addition.

Basically it is a year after the events of the first game, the City has turned peaceful when suddenly Mr. Big (now called Mr. X) who was believed dead re-appears with an army of thugs and takes control over the City again. Adam one of the playable characters of the first game is kidnapped. So this time 4 characters set out to rescue Adam and defeat Mr. X again.

Blaze the fast but weak woman and Axel the average reappear, as well as new characters Skate (really fast, but really weak), and Max (really slow, but really strong). There are again 8 levels to fight through. From the Streets all the way to Mr. X's jungle hideout. The levels are a lot bigger and varied than before. Where in Streets of Rage you just fought from left to right in a straight line, here the levels are split into smaller sections taking place in different locations, and also make more use of lifts, and diagonal routes. A good example of this is level 3. As well as several street areas there is an arcade you fight through, a Pirate themed park, and a really atmospheric Alien themed land (complete with mid-level Alien boss, and exploding Pods).

Gone are the smart bombs, and to replace them each character has unique special moves. These special moves are powerful, and can be used at any time, but use up energy quite a bit, so need to be used strategically. There are many many more moves per character, far more than the limited 5 or 6 of the original, though the useless co-op moves have vanished.

The enemies are amazing. A lot of the enemies are updated ones from the first game. The fat man boss has been relegated to a normal enemy, and is now throwable, the ninjas are much more deadly now, the prostitutes now have electric whips, and a host of bikers have joined the fray. There are a lot more mini-bosses now which turn up throughout the levels. The bosses are really cool. There is a Blanka rip-off, a flying man, and even robots as bosses. Only once does a boss repeat itself. The first boss in particular is fab. You’re fighting in a club. At the end of the level you get to a bar. Barbon the Bartender is cleaning glasses behind the bar. When he sees you he leaves exit stage Right. The next section of the level takes place in an alley way behind the club. Rain is lashing down. Barbon and his stooges are in fighting positions waiting for your approach. As you draw near Barbon yells “come on!” before ripping his shirt off. A classic moment in a classic game.

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There will be Brawl - Videogame Webseries Review

'Sonic looked back, and saw with fear a missile heading for him. It struck square in the back. Tendons and muscle tore as the missile dug through his insides, crushing, and churning up his stomach parts before ejecting itself from his belly like some grotesque caesarean birth. There were no rings to save him this time, for Sonic it was game over...'

Another day, another fan fiction excerpt. I do have a point with this though, There Will Be Brawl has a most excellent and bleak portrayal of the Mushroom Kingdom. Mario is an alcoholic, while Luigi has turned drug dealer. The City is under the control of several different gangs, led by Ganon, Bowser, Mee-Two, and King Dedede who are systematically being killed off by a mysterious assassin shifting the balance of power in the City leading to doom.

There are many characters from the Smash Brothers games in here. The usual Mario characters as well as others like Sonic, Samus, Liquid Snake, Kirby and many others, all looking fantastic and twisted versions of their cutesy selves.

The show is live action, and is very dark and bleak. It is so over the top dramatic that it really comes across as hilarious considering the cute and fluffy material it's based on. There is lots of swearing, sex, drug use, and especially violence. The violence is varied ranging from Mario beating Donkey Kong to a bloody pulp with a mallet to a traumatic and poignant tragedy when Ash the innocent Poke-trainer boy and his Pokemon are senselessly blown up.

A must see. Most episodes range between 10 and 20 minutes, and there will be about 11 or 12 episodes in total I think. The later episodes are not as good as the earlier ones and the plot does get quite confusing.

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Left 4 Dead 2 - Zombie Videogame Online Review (X-Box 360)

I got to try out some Versus mode on Left 4 Dead 2 last night. I never got to play with anyone I knew, so played with complete strangers.

The campaign I did Versus mode on was the first one - Dead Center set in and around a shopping centre. As with the previous game there are 2 teams of 4. You take it in turns to be either survivors or special infected, each round taking place in a chapter of the campaign. The new zombies control very well. The charger is a joy to use, the Jockey can be a little imprecise when trying to jump on a survivors head, while I have not yet got used to how the Spitter works yet. The Boomer is as weak and useless as always.

The levels seemed better designed for the infected to get around, and more chances for sneak attacks. There seems more explosives for the survivors to use to hinder the infected. I found the Barf Bomb quite effective for attacking the special infected infected with. The defibrillator finally got put to use, but the person I resurrected with it was unaware for a bit he was back alive and so got killed again quite promptly.

Playing with strangers is always a awkward experience, much silence on my and their parts, and not really much team work, apart from slightly sticking together as survivors. Still, it was a lot of fun. Gamertag again is Happyhead UK.

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Fan Fiction - Left 4 Dead 2

Here is the first in a new series of affectionate and quaint looks at some of the best moments in zombie horror, induced with a splash of that oft called style and wit from the pen of the mighty Daniel Simmonds. Enjoy;

"Cor Blimey Guvnor thems a right pickle we're in and no mistake!" said Toby the chimney sweeper. "I would heavily agree with thee, this is a most unwelcome zombie apocalypse" Makintyre replied with a weary resignation. They had started out 4, and were now down by half. Priscilla the street whore had been dragged off into the darkness by the slimy tongue of a Smoker a few blocks back, while Tom, carpenter Tom, yes that Tom, Carpenter Tommy Tom Tomtom the burliest man in Burley had had his face dissolved off by the acidic goo of a Spitter. That bitch had paid though, Toby in rage had took a guitar to her head, severing it instantly of course, the resulting mess dissolved away much more of Tom unfortunately, his dying wish was for them to "run, run, get to a safe house, leave meeeee" or it may of been "help! help!! you bastards where are you going?!"

They were now in sight of the Military gunship, it had promised to air lift them to safety out of New Orleans. Suddenly a Tank appeared, then another, then another. They roared in unison. They in their lumbering way where soon upon Makintyre and Toby flinging them about like rag dolls. "ouch" and "ow" they jointly said, it looked bleak, it looked like the level would have to be attempted again. Out of nowhere Priscilla the street whore appeared, bloodied, but in otherwise good shape. She looked at the beaten and useless forms of the fallen duo as she ran past. The third Tank now focused on her. It ripped a massive slab of concrete out the ground and flung it, it caught Priscilla square in the stomach, crushing her insides to a minty fresh pulp. She quickly took some pills which instantly restored her to feeling well and leaped onto the Gunship. It took to life and roared off to salvation.

A note on the fan fiction; obviously that was a very emotionally charged story, I think you always have to put a bit of yourself into these things, it brought up a lot of painful memories for me, as can be seen by the thought provoking words of Tom, or by the hidden wit of Toby. I feel the anguish of the Tanks is rather explicitly shown, as is the bravado of the Smoker. Or the whole thing could be a load of balls (Not could be, it actually is, lol).

Left 4 Dead 2 - Zombie Horror Videogame Review (X-Box 360)

I got Left 4 Dead 2 yesterday, Played through all 5 new campaigns in single player, the game does feel quite different to the first.

The game this time around takes place around New Orleans, with a deep south feel to the whole game via it's music, and it's locations. The 5 campaigns each take around an hour to do (single player, on Normal). The first campaign feels much like the levels of old. Your aim is to get to a shopping centre. It really is Left 4 Dead by numbers in terms of levels design, but is a good intro level for the game. The other 4 campaigns are where things get really cool though. Number 2 - Dark Carnival as the title suggests is set in an amusement park. It features a fantastic climax as well as the games only zombie clowns. Number 3 is set in swamp land, ending in a Plantation Manor. The 4th Campaign called Heavy Rain sees you and the fellow survivors on a mission to find some petrol for your escape vehicle, during a horrific thunderstorm. This campaign is unique in that you head to an objective, and then back to the starting position. The final mission features an amazing bridge gauntlet at it's end.

The weapons are as good as always, but it's whats new that is really exciting. There are now melee weapons in the game. Cricket bats, police batons, even samurai swords all make appearances, and are very very effective in chopping up zombies. They really change the way the game is played. No longer are you as good as dead if you get surrounded by zombies, as now you can chop them all up easily. It just seems a bit odd that a guitar is just as effective as a machete in decapitating them. There is also a amazing rare chainsaw, but this only has limited use as it guzzles gas. As for the old guns, there are a bigger variety, as well as upgrades (such as laser sights) and even alternate ammo (incendiary rounds, and explosive rounds!).

There are more special infected this time. On top of the old guard of Tank, Smoker, Hunter, Witch, and Boomer there is now Spitter (spits pools of corrosive acid), the Jockey (can jump on survivors to control there movements), and Charger (like a weak version of the tank, but can juggernaut his way through the survivors). I don't know how these new specials control as have not played Versus mode yet.

The A.I for the other survivors is as average as always. They do an ok job, but are no substitute for real humans. The game has a lot of slow down in places, the last mission in particular had quite horrendous slow down as the number of infected is at it's largest there.

I like this game, I really hope I get to play it with humans, as that's the way it is supposed to be played. I never got to play the first Left 4 Dead as it was intended and as a result missed out. Gamertag is Happyhead UK if anyone wants to play!

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UPDATE 15/12/2012: I never did get to play the game with humans I knew, as such the game quickly became very boring and unsatisfying.

The Descent: Part 2 - Horror Film Review

God, it's been a long time since my last post, just been so busy at work that I haven't had time...not that I do posts whilst at work!...? Anyway, I went to the cinema last night, I saw The Descent Part 2. The first Descent was an unexpected hit with me. I saw some awful film from the 70's an age ago which followed a similar situation and had thought it would be the same, but it actually felt quite unique.

Basically in the first film a group of young women go cave exploring in some uncharted caves in America. They get lost, and then killed by a bunch of Albino blind humanoid monsters. No one survives. Yet the sequel sees one of the women escaping the caves somehow (this is kind of confusing as in the European version it is made clear no one survives, only the U.S release had someone surviving). She's taken to hospital where an old, idiot Sheriff forces her to go back underground with him and some cave rescuers to search for the rest of the girls. The survivor has amnesia, and so goes along, soon getting her memory back once yet again trapped underground. Really soon the albino monsters appear and start killing everyone yet again.

The film is set in the same location as the first, and so many of the victims from the first are still (in one case literally) hanging around. The action starts much more quickly than the first, which kills some of the tension. Also there is no build up of discovering what the monsters are, as they are the same as the first film, so are a known quantity. Again victims are harassed, chased and crapped on (again quite literally) as they attempt to yet again escape. The ending is not great, with an unexpected, yet totally dumb twist. Though a lot of characters are killed off I wouldn't be surprised if they all turn up for the third film, like the apparently dead survivors of the first turn up here.

The film was ok, but the tension and mystery of the first was lost, and as a result is just not really scary.

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