If I did awards here at The Rotting Zombie then I think the delirious slasher Home Made would certainly achieve one. Not for anything good mind, as this has the dubious honour of being the most boring horror film I have watched this year. Written, directed, edited, produced, starring, and with music by Jason Impey (A Taste of Phobia segment 'Coprophobia', Faces of Snuff segment), this very indie horror could have been entertaining due to how poorly made it all is combined with its tongue being firmly in its cheek. The feature length runtime however meant that I was willing this to be over with long before the end credits rolled.
Impey stars as Jack Hess, a youthful looking egotistical serial killer who believes the snuff movies he makes of his exploits are the height of horror. Over one long day he goes on a rampage, killing various random strangers he encounters in woodland.
Home Made is extremely barebones when it comes to plot. So little happens here that it makes some of the later Friday the 13th movies feel like Shakespeare in comparison. I assumed the initial musical intro was just that, an intro. When ten minutes had passed and events still appeared to be the background to a dull music video I became slightly concerned, though at the end of this ninety minute movie I finally accepted that this was the vibe going for. From the opening moments to the end of the film, the same droning never ending music was playing. There are a few blissful moments here and there where the music cuts out for a few moments, but the same repetitive tune soon comes back. Even sat here in silence writing this review I can still hear the music playing in my head. I don't know if the music was consistent to mask the lack of story and dialogue, but with acting this bad it was probably needed. Outside of one actually entertaining monologue from the villian towards the film's end, there was barely more than a minute or two of dialogue during the whole movie. When characters did speak it felt like they were making up their lines as they went along, typically speaking in the most wooden way possible.
I'm almost convinced this was intended to be a comedy, and there are signs that point to that being the case. From the one default punch sound effect being used repeatedly (giving a 'slapping' noise instead of a 'punching' noise), to characters who are unable to run more than a few paces without falling over, and Hess himself who has some impressively stupid looking rolls along the ground (not even mentioning his faux American accent), this never looked anything other than terrible. I imagined at first the titular Home Made referred to the killer making snuff movies, but I think it might actually refer to the fact this horror did look like it was home made from a fan of horror films rather than an actual creator. To be fair to Imprey, he has an impressive number of films under his belt, with IMDB stating he has directed over a hundred films. For all its moments of comedy, these humorous moments get lost within the never ending tedium utilised to stretch this horror short into a feature length slog. Special mention goes to the scene in which Hess is chased for several minutes by a man angry that the killer has murdered his girlfriend. Upon eventually catching the madman, he punches him once, tells him to "f**k off!" and then walks off!
You would hope the kills would be the highlight, but despite Hess stating about how his kills are all in gruesome details on camera, the actual film often has the actual violence taking place slightly off camera, so that it is implied rather than shown. Maybe for the best, as one later kill sees Hess pulling what appears to be slices of sandwich ham out of his victims chest, while his main weapon of choice appears to be a blunt bread knife.
You would hope the kills would be the highlight, but despite Hess stating about how his kills are all in gruesome details on camera, the actual film often has the actual violence taking place slightly off camera, so that it is implied rather than shown. Maybe for the best, as one later kill sees Hess pulling what appears to be slices of sandwich ham out of his victims chest, while his main weapon of choice appears to be a blunt bread knife.
If Home Made had leant into the comedy more and cut out huge chunks of monotonous chases then this might have been more endurable. With long sections with literally nothing of note happening, I was ready to claw my eyes out, something only the more entertaining final fifteen minutes prevented. I will give kudos for the way this film ends though, Hess's final line was funny. I will end by saying, I guessed the filming location of Milton Keynes, so a shout out to myself. It was cool seeing a horror set in a nearby town to mine, just wish it had been better! Home Made has been released by VIPCO and BayView Entertainment on the streaming platform, Plex.
SCORE:
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