A film about haunted NFTs feels like its lost its moment already. I seem to recall a year or so back NFTs (none fungible tokens or something I believe it stands for, basically digital images that are all unique and can be traded) were briefly popular. They seemed to be only for rich douche-bags, who would spend ridiculous amounts of money to buy them. NFT: Cursed Images was written and directed by Jonas Odenheimer (Classroom 6). This crypto-horror had some good ideas, but ultimately it had a lot of wasted potential.
James (David Wayman - After Death) has recently returned to London and has gone for a meet up with his old friends at the home of Kit (Patrick Shearer - Perception). The other friends are nerdy Dan (Durassie Kiangangu - Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania), James' ex; Cass (Mariah Nonnemacher - Terminator: Dark Fate), couple, Nes (Nobuse Jnr - The Group) & Julia (Jasmine Clark), and finally, tomboy Sarah (Amelie Edwards). While the group are enthusiastically deep in discussion about NFTs, Kit is mysteriously sent seven by someone unknown. These seven are part of a collection called 'Crypto Horror', which urban legend states to be cursed NFTs capable of killing people. Thinking nothing of it, Kit sends each of his friends their own one as a joke. The late night gathering ends and the friends go their separate ways, unaware that they are going to be haunted by their own personal NFT they were sent.
I don't know what it is about modern horror films being obsessed with having the most unlikeable protagonists, and this is a trap that NFT: Cursed Images falls into. My hatred for these idiots started early on when a painfully slow near fifteen minute sequence plays out where the characters drone on inanely about just what NFTs are. Characters then spend the rest of the movie making bad decision after bad decision as each inevitably come face to face with their personalised NFT demon. It becomes a bit of a farce with all the characters trying to locate one another, constantly acting very surprised when people aren't answering their phones. I mean, it's the middle of the night, it's hardly surprising no one is answering calls, if they were normal people they would be fast asleep! There wasn't a single likeable character to be found. You have the insufferable one who refuses to believe anything strange is going on, cowardly ones, selfish ones, and then the one person who seems to know what is going on fails due to his bizarre pick and choose in his research for how to defeat each of the seven! Basically, the plot of the movie couldn't have happened to a bigger set of morons.
The one interesting thing in terms of pacing is that despite being set over one night, there are constant small time skips backwards and forwards to accommodate the different characters going through their own mini-plots.
The biggest missed potential came from the seven demons haunting the group. Each one had its own unique look and design, from conjoined twins to a figure with an upside down face; these white skinned monstrosities were actually pretty neat, and unique to each other in a way that reminded me of Thir13en Ghosts. It was a shame that none of these appearances ever led to anything interesting happening. Each time the character would come face to face with their NFT demon and then the scene would end, before anything happened on screen. I loved the demon designs but I wish they had featured more heavily than here, where they were on screen roughly for about two minutes of this 75 minute horror.
NFT: Cursed Images had potential for sure. A bigger focus on the scenes of horror and more tension would have been better than annoying characters wandering around the streets. If you insist on populating the movie with idiots, then at least give them satisfying on-screen deaths. A lacking story and unsatisfactory plot path led to this all feeling a little pointless; much like NFTs themselves. NFT: Cursed Images came to steaming on Digital HD on March 6th.
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