In anticipation of getting a lot of reading done on a (so far) relaxing holiday to visit family in Australia I was sorting out my back log of shame. I have some books dating back to around 2014, including one from Stephen Kozeniewski (The Thing Under Your Bed) which to my embarrassment I noticed wasn't in a format that I'm able to use on my Kindle. It's a shame, as my favourite story in this short story collection (previously I would have called this an anthology but the author spells out the difference of that and collections here) is based in that book's world (that book being Braineater Jones) and it sounds like a grand world indeed. Anyway, Yes, I am a Vampire isn't quite as old as that book, receiving the eBook at the end of 2024. I guess that makes this quite a speedy turnaround!
Yes, I am a Vampire is a horror collection with a difference. From the title alone I imagined this to be an anthology collection of short vampire stories (doing my usual thing of barely skimming the synopsis of anything I am sent so as not to be spoiled on the contents). Not only is it the collected short works of Kozeniewski from 2013-2016, it is also half an autobiography. Each of the 12 short stories is followed by a lengthy afterword which not only talks about the inspiration for the story, but also goes into details of what was going on in the author's life at the time some of these were quite frank. For this review, I will follow a similar format, giving some unwanted and self indulgent background on where I was and what I was doing as I read these stories.
It all begins with microfiction piece 'Clockwork Offal', a one page story that at first went over my head, but each subsequent read it dawned on me more and more the horror being suggested. The afterword is where it became apparant that Kozeniewski really was dedicating half of this book on writing about his own trials and tribulations with getting his work published. He mentioned Braineater Jones here, and that sparked a memory that I thought I had a copy of this sitting in an email somewhere waiting to be read (as stated, I kind of did, but I hadn't bothered to check if it worked at the time).
'The Thing Under The Bed' is next. I had previously reviewed the novella The Thing Under Your Bed, and almost skipped this one thinking it was just a repeat. Glad I did read this as it was a completely different and much shorter version of that neat story. Some of the awkwardly placed England references (this being set in London) are explained in the afterword, and it was there where Brian Keene's The Rising and City of the Dead is mentioned. I have fond memories of those two books, being some of the first zombie novels I ever read (the talking zombie lion at the zoo is forever burned into the undead appreciation part of my brain).
As may be apparent from this blog's name, zombies are by far my most favourite type of horror monster, so it was pleasing to see so many of the short stories here to feature the undead. The first of these was the crassly titled 'Exploding Sh*t Zombies' that as its title suggests, is one of the more grim zombie apocalypses. Many of the short stories in this collection are taken from the author's novels, this being one of those. I thought this story had a fun bait and switch at the start and was quite humourous. I was (very) indirectly mentioned in the notes for this one when Kozeniewski mentions sending his novel Braineater Jones off to a horde of various bloggers and reviewers back when it was first written.
This was the start of a bunch of undead tales, 'The New Dark Ages' was a bleak and grim one, starting off as a fantasy, before being revealed to actually be a Dungeons & Dragons game that a group of friends hiding out from an undead uprising were playing, before the rug pull of something far more twisted. The author in the notes mentions the cover for the anthology this one was originally published in was quite ugly. Having Googled the cover image; yup, it sure was a hideous cover!
'The Man With Four Scars' was a great story, a zombie story but one that takes place during caveman times. I have never read anything similar before, and having the story told from the perspective of a prehistoric human with his own way of talking and describing things was fascinating. I read this one in two parts, having crashed after drinking two strong cups of coffee in a row. The most exciting part of this somewhat haunting story picked up immediately from where I had paused reading, so I demolished this story upon getting back to it.
This was the start of a bunch of undead tales, 'The New Dark Ages' was a bleak and grim one, starting off as a fantasy, before being revealed to actually be a Dungeons & Dragons game that a group of friends hiding out from an undead uprising were playing, before the rug pull of something far more twisted. The author in the notes mentions the cover for the anthology this one was originally published in was quite ugly. Having Googled the cover image; yup, it sure was a hideous cover!
'The Man With Four Scars' was a great story, a zombie story but one that takes place during caveman times. I have never read anything similar before, and having the story told from the perspective of a prehistoric human with his own way of talking and describing things was fascinating. I read this one in two parts, having crashed after drinking two strong cups of coffee in a row. The most exciting part of this somewhat haunting story picked up immediately from where I had paused reading, so I demolished this story upon getting back to it.
That brings me up to almost present day (at time of typing). The rest of the collection I read in the span of a day while out on holiday in Australia (where I will be until the end of March). I tried to read 'The Key to the Stars' back in the U.K while my best friend was staying at my house. I couldn't recall a word when I returned to it, so began again. I thought this was a charming story, and one of the most light hearted ones. A sci-fi story about a girl who encounters a holographic projection of an alien in the 1950's. It mixes this story with a real account of an alien encounter to wonderful effect. For me 'The Old Man and the Seesaw' was the highlight of this short story collection. Set in the Braineater Jones world, it is another that shows imagination, the titular 'old man' referring to a zombie fetus whose fortunate early immersion in an alcoholic based preserving formula led to it being one of the oldest surviving zombies in that alternate world where sentient undead have emerged who require alcohol to keep their faculties. The notes for this one particularly resonated to me, the authors hopes to one day be able to write full time and not need to have a bill paying day job echoing my desire to one day somehow be able to do the same, but with my blog.
The last zombie story follows with 'Cadaver Bite', showing an unusual form of execution used during a zombie outbreak. I was sat nearby a radio and got engrossed enough in this one that the words being spoken on the radio faded away to nothing for me.
This review is perhaps getting a bit self indulgent and lengthy so will zoom through the last four stories. 'The Quiet Life' is very similar to A Quiet Place, but as the notes afterwards say, this was actually written a few years before that film came out. The final three stories are all single page microfiction stories set around Christmas; 'Traditions', 'A Visit From...' and 'Brightly Shining' were all excellent and twisted in their own ways, a lovely finish to this collection.
The last zombie story follows with 'Cadaver Bite', showing an unusual form of execution used during a zombie outbreak. I was sat nearby a radio and got engrossed enough in this one that the words being spoken on the radio faded away to nothing for me.
This review is perhaps getting a bit self indulgent and lengthy so will zoom through the last four stories. 'The Quiet Life' is very similar to A Quiet Place, but as the notes afterwards say, this was actually written a few years before that film came out. The final three stories are all single page microfiction stories set around Christmas; 'Traditions', 'A Visit From...' and 'Brightly Shining' were all excellent and twisted in their own ways, a lovely finish to this collection.
I have always had a love of anthologies (well, in this case, collections), so with Yes, I am a Vampire I found yet another one that I enjoyed. Truthfully, there wasn't a short story I didn't like, but there were some that were in my mind much better written than others. I was of course also pleased that so many of these featured zombies, that is never going to be anything other than a positive thing in my mind. The autobiographical part was also very interesting. It challenged my baseless assumptions that all published authors are effortlessly able to get their stories out.
SCORE:
No comments:
Post a Comment