Portrait of God (2022) - Short Horror Film Review

I was idling on the back porch of my aunt and uncle's remote house when I happened across a Reddit post about really messed up films. Needless to say, the ones I checked out didn't live up to the expectations placed on them, but they were still entertaining to watch. The first of these was the Dylan Clark (Transfigure, Home Movies) written and directed Portrait of God. It seems that a feature length version of this short is currently in production.

A devoutly religious teenage girl; Mia (Sydney Brumfield - Blood Star) is practising a power point presentation about a painting supposedly of God, that only certain people who look at it are able to see the hidden image, and which gives those people a feeling of having seen the divine. After her first practice run she goes through her presentation again, but this time, when she gets to the slide that shows a photo of the painting, she notices that where before there was just a black canvas, she can now spot something lurking in the darkness.

Set across seven minutes, this certainly started off effectively. The second half of this mostly takes place within a black void, assuming this is meant to represent the black painting. This part while still good, didn't feel like it quite worked as well as the initial section set in the girl's home. I did appreciate the somewhat open ended finish to this, a nice ending shot. Both the special effects and the creature design were good, but I couldn't help but feel this should have felt more unsettling than it actually was.

I loved the central idea for Portrait of God and as a short horror it excelled at not following the tired format that so many short horrors go for, not a jump scare to be found thankfully. A solid performance from the lead, and I can see how this could be lengthened out for a feature length adaptation. Portrait of God can be viewed on YouTube.

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Anacoreta (2022) - Horror Film Review

Anacoreta is a found footage horror with an intriguing meta twist to it. It was directed and co-written by Jeremy Schuetze, the other writer being Matt Visser. The meta part is that these two people play fictional versions of themselves within the film, with them carrying out the same roles there. Watching this, the question becomes - what is fabricated as part of the film within a film that is being made, and what is actually 'real' within the film world?

Jeremy (Schuetze), his actress girlfriend Antonia (Antonia Thomas - The Good Doctor), and lifelong friends, Matt (Visser) and Jesse (Jesse Stanley - Van Helsing) have gone to spend the weekend at the remote cabin that had belonged to Jeremy's grandpa. With the cabin due to be sold due to the recent death of the grandpa, Jeremy both wants to visit the place one last time, but also has plans to make an experimental found footage horror film while there. To do this, he has hired a camera man who has been instructed to film the group. As time goes on, Jeremy's increasingly heavy handed directorial style, and his insertion of fabricated scary events that the rest of the group hadn't been made aware of, soon leads to the group of friends starting to fracture.

I appreciate what films such as Anacoreta are trying to achieve, and here, trying to forever keep the viewer guessing as to what is fact and what is fiction, that part of the experience was effective. One issue with these types of films is that rather than the viewer wonder what is actually going on, they might just come to assume that nothing shown is to be taken as real, and so any moments of horror come heavily diluted. Straight away, I was wondering if the found footage being presented was the actual film the in-world characters had been planning to make, rather than it seeming like this was the unedited footage prior to that film being created (if that makes any sense). There wasn't any type of title text saying how the footage was discovered, perfectly fine, there doesn't always need to be, More glaring was the addition of a soundtrack, especially popping up during key scenes. It is hard to take the found footage seriously when there is music playing during the more dramatic moments. In a meta way this is likely all purposeful, if what the viewer is being shown is actually the finished product that the in-film characters were trying to make, then it works as it is certainly an experimental horror. To be honest, I might be set in my ways, but I would have been more happy with the story the characters came up with actually being the story. Their idea is to travel to a remote mausoleum with creepy grave stones styled as chairs, and there was a fun legend explaining what would happen if they did that, which would have been fun to see.
The horror moments when they come are often swiftly revealed to be red herrings. These include a mysterious truck following the group wherever they drive, a butchered cat, and one of the group getting strange visions. I did like how the viewer is never made aware of some of the twists within the film-making, At one point the group are meant to be deep on a hiking trail, the camera panning across at one point to reveal to the viewers for the first time that the group were actually right next to their cabin and the whole 'hike' was a fabricated part of the movie they were making.

The cast were pretty decent, I especially thought the character of Jeremy was good, mainly due to how detestable he became as the film went on. His manipulative nature means viewers and characters alike become to doubt anything he says or does, and Antonio is decent, with the gradual breakdown in trust for her boyfriend who she had thought she knew and loved.
The editing throughout this was good, occasional split second moments that hinted at horror not acknowledged, such as an early scene where a character jumps into a lake and red blood appears to spill out from her. I also liked a part near the film's conclusion where brief scenes from earlier in the movie appear, but digitally corrupted. The film was clever at creating moments where it seems like errors had been accidentally left in, such as a boom stick appearing in shots, and scenes being repeated several takes in a row.

Anacoreta was certainly an interesting idea. The central idea of not knowing what is real or not did take a huge amount of any potential horror out of this, but it was achieved well enough. Not at all a scary found footage, but well crafted and can be appreciated despite not being much of a horror. Anacoreta came to streaming and Digital HD services on February 24th, including Apple TV, Prime Video, and Fandango at Home.

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Tormented Souls (2021-22) - Horror Video Game Review (Playstation 5)

Tormented Souls may have one of the most generic and forgettable titles I've heard in recent memory. I've constantly kept referring to it as 'Forsaken Souls' for some reason, and even writing this review; I've noticed that I have initially titled the game 'Tortured Souls' before noticing the error. Thankfully, that is one of the worst things about this very entertaining retro survival horror throwback - a game that blends classic elements of the original Alone in the Dark, Resident Evil and Silent Hill games into one cosy bloodstained whole.

Taking place in 1994, Canadian - Caroline Walker, receives a strange letter in the post that contains a single photo of twin little girls. In the weeks that follow, Caroline begins to experience terrible nightmares, unable to stop thinking about the photo. In desperation, she heads to the abandoned Wildberger Hospital (the return address for the letter she received), hoping to find out more information about the two girls. Once there she gets immediately attacked and knocked out by a mystery assailant. Sometime later, she awakens naked in a tub full of water, with a bandaged eye, and breathing tube in her throat. After getting dressed, she checks under the eye bandage in a mirror and is horrified to discover her bandaged eye has been surgically removed! She leaves the storage room she's in and heads out into the hospital (which is situated in an old mansion). Her goal; to find the whereabouts of the twin sisters and rescue them should they need assistance.

This is very classic survival horror, it really reminded me of the golden age of the late nineties. Games have came out before that promise to be authentic returns to survival horror roots, but they often feel like they are missing something essential for the nostalgic feel. Despite some small issues, I loved my time with Tormented Souls thankfully. The mansion setting of course reminded me heavily of the original Resident Evil, and is of comparative size to that game, with my final completion time being around 8 hours. The game is populated with grisly horrors, all of which fit the hospital vibe in their own twisted ways. ghoulish creatures with gas canisters strapped to their legless torso, zombies with blades for arms, and blending of corpse and surgical apparatus. There were also three boss fights, though two of these were against enemies that later join the roster of common enemies. The final boss was neat, requiring puzzle solving and combat blended together; the only one of the bosses that actually stood out. As a note; without going into spoilers; the boss in the game that resembles something from Evil Dead II is invincible, something I wish I had figured out before wasting most of my ammo on the blasted thing. If I had just left the room I would have made the back half of the game a lot easier! Enemy design works when the enemies are hidden in darkness, sometimes in well lit areas they can become a bit goofy looking. Character design mostly failed here; Caroline herself looks great, but other characters encountered had an exaggerated cartoon look to them that pulled me out the immersion on occasion. The less said about the voice acting the better, maybe they were going for a cheesy Resident Evil tone with over empathising each word, but the delivery really pulled me out of the experience. 

I first thought it was weird that a hospital would be inside a mansion, but that was explained to my satisfaction in a file I came across. The same happens with why the enemies look like they do. Nothing revolutionary, but was nice to have some lore about that. The mansion is full to the brim with puzzles that need to be solved, from cryptic door locks, to memory repetition puzzles, riddles, and items you discover that need either combining with one another, or used in the environment. Getting around the mansion is like solving an intricate puzzle lock, the puzzles here, while not hard, still are decent enough to give you a rush of dopamine when you solve them.
The mansion's design includes many secret doors and unexpected short cuts, with the detail appropriately hellish. At every turn there are corpses and body bags, literally hundreds encountered during my play through. Special mention to the choice of fixed camera angles, as well as the tremendous lighting that was especially effective in the basement sections.
The game starts off feeling like Resident Evil, but increasingly takes on the feel of a Silent Hill. It starts with tiny sections that feel like the Silent Hill  'Otherworld', then the back half of the game increasingly takes on a more cosmic horror feel. I enjoyed this mix of the grand daddies of the survival horror genre, their blend worked fantastically. The game's plot wasn't particularly engaging, but it served it's purpose. Much of the story for what happened at the mansion comes from diary entries you find dotted around the place, with hints of Fatal Frame II to it. You have to assume Caroline is illiterate, as she always seems very surprised from revelations that had already been revealed in easily obtained diaries. I recall one time around six hours in where Caroline responds with shock to something I had literally found out about within 15 minutes of starting the game by reading a diary entry!

Some of the item management can be fiddly. Thankfully, you have an infinite carry space, rather than limited, and the game sees fit to split key items and gameplay items into different sections in the item screen. You unlock maps of the floors in the building as you play, though weirdly when you bring up the map screen you have to manually locate the map you need rather than it bring it up automatically. The game world is also very dark, this is used in a gameplay way due to darkness causing instant death should you be in it for too long. You come to rely on a lighter (with seemingly infinite fuel) to see where you are going. The only problem is that you can't use your weapons while holding the lighter, nor can you use without, as it restricts you from using them when its pitch black. Neatly used as part of some of the puzzles, with areas of the mansion blocked off by stationary enemies that you can't attack in the dark. You only get access to four different weapons throughout the game, at least it tries something different but having a much more D.I.Y feel to them. Your primary weapon is a nail gun which was quite weak, my favourite came to be the shotgun apparently made out of pipes. Of course, ammo, health, and even save reels are all in short supply, by games end I did have plenty of those save reels stored away. Saving is needed as being old school there are not any checkpoints. Should you die, then you will have to reload your last save. There were definitely a few soul destroying times when I realised all too late my last save was a long time ago. 

Tormented Souls was a frequently stressful experience. I was always really hesitant to use healing items, ammo, or to save my game as I was always nervous about how limited these items all where. I liked how the enemies just lay dead where you killed them for the rest of the game, it makes returning to previously explored areas much more chill, as well as make it feel like it wasn't a waste to kill them first time around. The unsettling looking location is the best thing about this game, the story didn't really resonate much, maybe due to the exaggerated voice acting, but the environments were nightmarish and there were some well placed jump scares to be had in them. The old school tank controls and fixed camera angles might not be for everyone (I had forgotten how annoying it was to battle an enemy just off screen), but for those wanting a return to the glorious early days of survival horror, Tormented Souls was an excellent adventure, albeit, not a perfect one.

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Poppy Playtime: Chapter 2 'Fly in a Web' (2022-24) - Horror Video Game Review

In a rare break from watching mainly horror films for review, I decided to spend this weekend (at time of typing) exclusively playing horror video games. Having had an unexpectedly fun time with Poppy Playtime: Chapter 1, I decided to pick up the second chapter; Poppy Playtime: Chapter 2 'Fly in a Web', due to it being in a sale for around £4. I wasn't sure if it would be value for money despite the low price, and it was that which put me off buying the more expensive Poppy Playtime: Chapter 3 & 4. Would this second episode carry on the surprising fun the first offered? This was the Playstation 5 version of the game which released in 2024, and, obviously, spoilers for Chapter 1 to follow.

The first chapter concluded with you defeating the monstrous Huggy Wuggy and making it to the area that had been highlighted in the VHS tape you had originally received in the mail. Instead of discovering your missing former colleagues of the Playtime Co. toy factory, you instead discover the titular Poppy Playtime; a small self-aware doll. Having freed her from the case she was trapped in, she promises to help you escape the factory, as it is something she also wants to do. With the way back out blocked, Poppy suggests you head deeper down into the underground complex to the toy test area where there is a train that you can use to leave the facility. Arriving there however, you encounter a new horror - Mommy Long Legs. This creation uses her impossibly long appendages to capture Poppy, and then reveals to you that in order to use the train, you must play three children's games with Mommy, with her giving you part of the train start-up code for each game you successfully complete.

I had hoped this chapter would be longer than the first, and thankfully it was. With the first one done in under an hour, this one took me roughly two hours to beat. By the time you get to the train station, the chapter goals are clear - playing each of the three games. These include a memory game called 'Musical Memory', 'Wack-a-Wuggy' that is similar to the classic 'wack-a-mole' game found at arcades, and a tense spin on musical statues, simply titled 'Statues'. These were all fun to do, and had a Portal type feeling of getting to head behind the scenes from the initial play rooms.
Gameplay is once again mainly made up of simple, yet enjoyable puzzles involving the grab handle accessory you are armed with. Previously, both hands were able to conduct electricity, this time around you get an upgrade - a green grab handle that is able to briefly store electricity. This creates opportunity for different types of puzzles, such as one section where you have to open a series of gates in order to push a minecart along some tracks.

Horror is again quite meek, though I would argue Mommy is just as creepy as the mute Huggy Wuggy. This antagonist is constantly talking to you, and seems to be angry that she had been trapped below ground on her own for so long. Her look is kind of like Stretch Armstrong crossed with Mr. Tickle, her arms, legs, and neck all able to stretch to ridiculous lengths. I thought maybe the long maze-like chase sequence the first chapter culminated with would again appear. More sensibly it is a lot more stripped back. There are a variety of short chase sequences, but more stream-lined, like the developers were well aware they couldn't get away with the exact same thing again. This was about as scary as chapter 1 (I.E: not very) but that did not get in the way of my enjoyment. 
I realised this time around that it is worth hunting down the secret VHS tapes. These tapes provide lore and backstory and were worth finding. Often they would include live-action footage of actors playing employees of the factory.

I had figured that a second round of Poppy Playtime might have shown a lack of variation. The toy testing area felt suitably different to the factory of chapter 1. Poppy Playtime: Chapter 2 'Fly in a Web' remains a most happy surprise, and of course has left me very interested in continuing the journey into this hellish facility.

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Poppy Playtime: Chapter 1 'A Tight Squeeze' (2021-22) - Horror Video Game Review

My desire to buy so many horror themed skins for video game Fortnite during it's recent 'Fortnitemares' event at least had a somewhat positive aspect. With 'The Grabber' skin I finally got around to watching The Black Phone, and with the Huggy Wuggy skin, I finally got around to trying Poppy Playtime. My knowledge of this game was slight, so there were a few unexpected surprises to discover. I had heard that Poppy Playtime was a poor man's Five Nights at Freddy's, and due to not really liking that game that didn't really incentivise me to try this one either. I needed to see where the great character Huggy Wuggy came from, something I recognised through popular media alone. It turns out Poppy Playtime isn't a single game, but instead is an episodic one. It seems that each of the four chapters released so far (a fifth and possibly final one has recently had a teaser trailer released) has you encounter a different terrifying toy. From what I can gather (not having played the others), Huggy Wuggy only appears in first chapter 'A Tight Squeeze'.

The game takes place in 2005, ten years after the majority of the employees of a toy company known as Playtime Co. mysteriously vanished without a trace. You play as an unnamed former employee who was possibly the only one to survive the event. You receive a package in the post, inside is a VHS tape advertising a tour of the toy factory you used to work in, as well as a cryptic letter that suggests the missing employees are actually still trapped in the place. This results in the silent protagonist deciding to head back to the factory, with the hopes of finding his missing colleagues. 

Chapter 1 of Poppy Playtime was free to download and play. I'm not sure how long the other chapters are, but this one clocks in at roughly 45 minutes to an hour to complete. I had expected this would be a single room game like Five Nights, or that it would feature a wandering antagonist who would randomly kill you. Both of those didn't sound appealing. I was pleasantly surprised to discover a much more video game like experience. The chapter has you exploring the first floors of the factory, solving simple puzzles as you go. The goal of this first chapter is to discover a certain graffitied door that had been spliced into the VHS tour tape. Along the way you obtain a device known as a 'GrabPack'. This allows you to grab distant objects, and to lift objects you normally wouldn't be able to. In the process of doing this, you inadvertently awaken the towering Huggy Wuggy; a blue furred lanky toy creature that wants nothing more than to give you a hug...and then bite your head off with its huge mouth that features multiple lines of sharp teeth within.

The first two thirds of the chapter have you exploring the factory and solving small puzzles. It is the final part where the horror ramps up. In a section that reminded me of the laser disc Dragon's Lair games (but with actual direct control), you ascend down a series of maze-like narrow passageways as you are pursued by Huggy Wuggy. It becomes a process of elimination to discover the sole path that will bring you to chapter's end. Despite dying many times on this part, I didn't find it frustrating as I felt like I was making more progress each time.

I came to Poppy Playtime: Chapter 1 'A Tight Squeeze' expecting I would not enjoy the game. It was a delight to see how much more traditional this felt to what I had expected. Geared more towards children or teenagers, this wasn't a scary game, but you cannot say that the excellent Huggy Wuggy doesn't have a very iconic design to it, was great to see the character in its natural setting. The short runtime can't really be called an issue when this first chapter is free. As a taster it has really made me want to continue the story and see where things head next.

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M3GAN (2022) - Horror Film Review

If the screener link received for a review doesn't work, then as a rule of thumb I will instead watch a film of my own choosing. Such was the case last Sunday, so I picked out M3GAN, a film I had been interested in seeing and which had recently been added to Netflix. The Child's Play series is a classic, killer dolls really can be creepy, that was the reason I found the Annabelle series of killer dolls so disappointing due to the possessed doll causing evil to occur around it, rather than it physically moving around and causing mischief. With this Gerard Johnstone (Housebound) directed and James Wan co-written horror, I had heard it wasn't as bad a film as had been expected.

When she is involved in a tragic traffic accident that results in the death of her parents, young Cady (Violet McGraw - Doctor Sleep, The Haunting of Hill House TV series) goes to live with her aunt Gemma (Allison Williams - Get Out). Gemma is a workaholic who is obsessed with her job at a toy company, and sees having to look after her niece as a burden she didn't want. Her interactions with the girl end up inspiring her to go ahead with her pet project - to make a life-like robotic childlike doll that is able to bond with its owner and use A.I learning to grow. Naming it M3GAN (played by Amie Donald, voiced by Jenna Davis), she gifts it to Cady and is impressed with how the girl takes to it. Unfortunately for all involved, she didn't programme in all the necessary protocols, and soon M3GAN starts to resort to extreme violence, to punish anyone who causes Cady to be upset.

I enjoyed this horror and thought the doll design was very creepy. It helps that I have a very mild fear of puppets anyway. The design purposely heads out into uncanny valley territory, leading to lots of fun moments where people initially mistake the doll for a real child. As much as I did love the design, the story did noticeably play it safe, going through the motions of escalation that were predictable to chart. Starting off with the neighbour's aggressive dog, M3GAN's path of mayhem ramps up on a traditional route, earlier victims being people who in a horror film sense could be seen to deserve the punishment they are given, before later victims are punished excessively. There were no real surprises to be found, from the expected ending shot allowing the possibility of a sequel, to information presented to the viewer early on, and that just so happens to be integral to stopping the killer doll in the climax.
The scenes with the doll being evil were fun to watch, but it was a shame that a lot of the kills were either toned down in violence or cut out completely to allow M3GAN to have a lower age rating. I thought it's ability to mimic voices was a decent idea however, it was effectively used as it set itself apart and made for some scenes that didn't feel as familiar as the general movement path of the story.

The film carries with it a bit of a quasi-dystopian vibe, especially with the toy companies ridiculous adverts. There is more than the feel of a Black Mirror episode with this one, but this does set itself apart from the original Child's Play movies, as technology is the root evil here. Gemma is a flawed protagonist, and could easily be seen as the inadvertent antagonist of the movie also, not only creating the doll and not programming it properly, but also relieved that it is acting as a surrogate mother to Cady, allowing her to pretty much ignore the child and allow it to be shaped by the doll. The message is about how the increasing reliance on technology might not be such a good thing for humans, especially in a world where a killer doll with access to all the information of the internet is able to have free reign. Special effects were great, especially with that doll, I liked the design, and its later 'battle damaged' look also appealed, even if it didn't go as far down that path as I had hoped. Characters were mostly fine, no one really stood out to me, I thought Ronny Chieng (Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings) was probably the highlight, bringing comedy to his role as the toy company boss.

I did like M3GAN, I thought it was effective as a new movie monster, and it had some nice ideas. The story in general did play out a little too safely, an obvious ramping up of threat, and an unsurprising ending occasionally caused me to realise that as much as I enjoyed this, it wasn't entirely something I hadn't seen before. M3GAN is currently streaming on Netflix.

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Worst Laid Plans (2022) - Horror Anthology Film Review

It was only last week that I mentioned the horror anthology film Worst Laid Plans during my monthly news post. This vacation themed horror brought together three short films that came from the bestselling book from Grindhouse Press. I always have a real soft spot for anthologies and this one felt like a good 'un.

There are three stories contained here and for a change there wasn't a wraparound story to unite this together. I assume this was due to being an adaptation of a book and so with the book not having connective tissue, neither did the film. It begins with 'Deep In The Heart' which was written, directed and produced by John Hale (The Conduit short film) and was based on the short story by Waylon Jordan. In this one, a young man (Michael played by Christopher Trindade) visits a popular cave system at a tourist trap while on holiday with his mom (Jennifer Trudrung - Halloween Kills, We Are the Missing) and his moody dad (Greg Harpold - Mothman). A lot of the film is based around Michael, a closet gay whose father suspects and treats him and his wife badly as a result. It is while they are deep underground that they discover something truly monstrous.
The location here was fantastic as it was set an actual real-life cave system. There was a very unique creature here, while it didn't always look the most realistic it was definitely unexpected. The biggest problem for this one was the epilogue that went on for around ten minutes after the core threat was over with. Regardless, this was a good opening for the trilogy of tales.

Next up was 'You've Been Saved' which was directed and co-written/co-produced by Christopher G. Moore (Zombie World 2), based on the short story by S.E Howard. Two friends with very different personalities - studious Chris (Brian Ashton Smith) and deviant Ethan (Malcolm Mills) have met up after a long time apart to go on a road trip to reconnect. While at a diner, Chris notices a scared acting teenager (Emi Curia) with a creepy man (Nick Karner - Zombie World 2). His suspicions are confirmed when the girl secretly leaves him a note as she leaves requesting his help. While Ethan is happy to ignore this and continue their trip, this event plays on the much more noble Chris, with him eventually deciding he needs to do something to save the girl from what seemed like a dangerous situation.
I enjoyed this one also, I did guess where it was heading in a way, though the eventual reveal was a lot crazier than I expected. Some great special effects here for the most part, though were not all perfect, ending in a way that reminded me of a bit from an episode of dark British sitcom The League of Gentlemen.

Finally was 'Taylor Family Vacation '93' which was directed by Jeremy Herbert (The Thing with the Glowing Green Eyes, The Thing About Beecher's Gate) based on the story he himself wrote. Herbert is always known for his great short films, and it was lovely to see Morgan McLeod in the lead role here, having enjoyed his performances in previous films of the directors. This was a lovely mix of traditional film and super creepy camcorder footage.
Here, Dan (McLeod) is on vacation with his wife Amy (Marissa Gatsios) and their son Josh (Keegan Badillo), staying at a motel. Dan is startled to see that someone appears to be breaking into their motel room at night and using Dan's camera to covertly film them. The man strongly suspects it is their creepy neighbour (Jay T. Becker), and becomes determined to capture the man's guilt. This had a great vibe to it that drew slight comparisons with the almighty Sinister, especially with the home video footage combined with a really unsettling and discordant soundtrack. I did like this one even if I did guess the biggest twist almost immediately. There was a much more sad tone than I anticipated, with it devolving into something more different than I imagined it would be.

All three of the short films contained with Worst Laid Plans were a lot of fun to watch, it helped that all three were very different to each other also, despite sharing a similar theme of vacations. This is well worth a watch in my humble opinion, but I do always love a decent anthology. Worst Laid Plans is now available on Collector's Edition Blu-ray and VHS from Scream Team Releasing.

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Nightsiren (2022) - Horror Film Review

Nightsiren is a Slovakian folk-horror that was co-written and directed by Tereza Nvotová. It follows a chapter based progression that has key elements of the unfolding mystery revealed via flashbacks. On the surface this seemed like it was going to be a supernatural horror, though it can more keenly be seen as horror that stems from the superstitious beliefs of the inhabitants of a close-minded small rural town.

Sarlota (Natalia Germani) returns to her childhood town in rural Slovakia after receiving a letter from the mayor there stating that her deceased mother had left her an inheritance that she had to return to the town to claim. With the mayor away on vacation, Sarlota decides to stay a while, but finds that the forest cabin that her, her sister and her mother lived in had at some point in the past burnt down. She decides to instead move into the nearby cabin that once belonged to Otyla (Iva Bittová), an old woman who the locals had believed to be a witch. It is here that she meets Mira (Eva Mores), an outsider who had moved to a small hut on the edge of town in order to gather herbs from the nearby forest to sell online. The two soon strike up a friendship, and increasingly find themselves at odds with the highly superstitious townsfolk who still believe that Sarlota had been groomed by Otyla to be a witch as a child.

The movie is split over a series of chapters that both reveal further secrets from Sarlota's past as well as the increasing animosity she is getting in the present day. Nightsiren begins in a shocking way with a young Sarlota accidentally knocking her younger sister, Tamara off a cliff, with the sister apparently killed by the fall. Much of Sarlota's journey has her confronting her past self. This was a film that started off more supernatural than it turned out to be. It is established that Otyla was a witch, but this starts to become questioned more and more as past events are revealed to the viewer. There are parts of this that could be taken at face value to prove the existence of the supernatural, but it felt like this wasn't what was actually going on. The most supernatural point of the film comes at the end of the second act, but with the protagonists having imbibed a drugged drink this very trippy sequence felt much more likely to have been hallucinations.

Nightsiren wasn't a happy film, the main characters are seen with suspicion that leads up to a ramping up of threat and peril for them. Being so rural, the town is seen to take the law into their own hands, and there was an increasing feeling that events were going to reach a violent crescendo. The third act in particular was feel bad, with events cascading due to a series of bad luck and poor timing. There are plenty of folk-horror moments here, scenes of naked women dancing around bonfires deep in the woods, writhing around covered in day-glow paint, the repeated use of snakes that seem to appear from nowhere, and the persistent threat of the nasty townsfolk, including one uncomfortable attempted rape scene. There was a lot of non-sexual nudity in the film, including full frontal nudity, but this worked within the vibe of the film, not seeming excessive, and not at all feeling like it was there for base titillation. Instead this fed both into the context of witchcraft, and the feel of characters being closer to nature.
The plot I found interesting, with Sarlota and Mira standing out as great duel protagonists. The former had an interesting back story, with her being bald due to a history of trichotillomania, and having recently had a miscarriage that destroyed her relationship back in the city she came from. Love interest Tomás (Marek Geisberg) felt a bit underused with not much personality to him, though secretly gay Helena (Juliana Olhová) was an interesting if unlikeable character who was part of the catalyst for the townsfolk's increasingly dangerous behaviour.

While Nightsiren wasn't feel good in the slightest, and made for a sometimes unpleasant watch, I thought it was very well made, and created an atmosphere over its one hour fifty minute runtime that had me drawn into the beautiful location. Nightsiren came to ARROW at the start of June where it is streaming exclusively, a limited edition Blu-ray was also released at the same time.

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Feeding on the Living (2022) - Short Horror Film Review

I first heard of Nicholas M. Garofolo back in 2019 when I reviewed the short horror film Deranged Foxhole. Since then I have seen several short films that he has been in, with one of his recurring roles being Dave Slade. Feeding on the Living is the third Dave Slade film, having not seen all the previous ones it did mean I was a bit confused where things stood on the timeline.

This synopsis is the film as I saw it, so I might be incorrect on some elements. Coney Island based Dave Slade (Garofolo) has given up his time-travelling ways and decided to try and live a normal life. He is contacted by his former handler (Dave Sweeny who also directed and co-wrote this alongside Garofolo) and warned to stay away from a certain woman. Ignoring these words, Slade decides to approach a mysterious woman he spots, Alvara (Arina Ozerova) and talking with her he realises she is a vampire, though she teleports away before he is able to attack her. It turns out her psychotic boyfriend Silas (Warren Chao) is also a vampire, and that he has a particular bone to pick with Slade as he has the knowledge that in 2030 Slade will kill him.

Feeding on the Living is just over twenty six minutes long and uses that time frame in a compact fashion. I have to admit that my memories of previous short films Garofolo has starred in had me remembering them as being very low budget and a bit rough looking. I was surprised then at just how good this short looks. Constraints are used to add mood and vibe, rather than something that held the filmmakers back. A key example is that the majority of this short is set at night, yet the scenes were obviously filmed in daylight with a blue filter used. You can see the sun shining off the sea, people walking along holding shopping bags, and an artificial filter put over the night sky to show stars. This all added a surreal feel that perfectly complimented the off-kilter story. Special effects were another idea that were used to great...well, effect. I particularly liked the look of a vampire who had holy water thrown in their face, the steam on screen obviously wasn't real, but something about it just worked.

The story could occasionally be hard to follow, but this third film in the series doesn't do too much to try and fill viewers in, I did appreciate the couple of flashback sequences to events in previous entries. Slade is a character who never appears completely serious, he is treated as a threat at times, yet whenever he speaks he has lines that can always be taken as comedic. I thought Chao was great as a bad guy, loving the way he said his lines. I also thought the fight montage between him and Slade later on was pretty amusing.
Maybe the highlight of the whole film was the wonderful soundtrack, there are a variety of songs and instrumental tunes played and all fitted perfectly into this, even led me to watching the entire end credits due to liking the music playing. As always, this is filmed at Coney Island, and gives a really unique look, I do like that so many short films Garafolo stars in are set in this iconic location.

My expectations were low for this, but I had a blast watching this. Occasionally scenes of dialogue between characters felt a little long winded and unnatural sounding, but outside of this, I loved the surreal feel to the film and enjoyed this far more than I expected. Feeding on the Living can currently be viewed on YouTube and has been picked up by Fawesome TV & OTT Studio.

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And the Night Did Claim Them (2022) by Duncan P. Bradshaw - Horror Novella Review

Horror author Duncan P. Bradshaw is most known for his comedy horror novels, such as Don't Smell The Flowers! They Want To Steal Your Bones! and Mr. Sucky, but he has occasionally branched out into more serious horror. I had read his serious short story Q&A in the Trapped Within horror anthology but I have to admit that didn't really stick around in the mind. And the Night Did Claim Them is a ninety nine page horror novella that was apparently inspired by an image the author had brought, originally intending to use the image as the cover for a book about zombies and voodoo. I started reading the novella during the height of my second Covid infection and didn't get too far into it due to feeling rotten. I subsequently then read the book within two lunch breaks at my day job, and have to say I loved it.

The novella is written from a first person perspective of a barman as he works a shift in a local bar on a seemingly normal night. Hoping for an early finish, he instead learns that his boss has ok'd a lock-in, much to the barman's annoyance. At some point the relative tranquillity of another dull monotonous night at work is broken when he discovers that all doesn't appear right outside the pub. Inexplicably, the pub appears to exist within a black void, with there not being an 'outside' so to speak. The barman discovers that anyone who leaves the pub is swiftly and violently killed by an unknown force, something which bizarrely doesn't faze the regular bar flies. The only person who appears to have some clue as to what is happening is a mysterious stranger called Simon, who tells the barman that everyone there is fated to die, but that for some reason it is the barman with the power to decide in which order their lives are to end.

I really liked the idea for the story, I was expecting something grim, but I can't say I had expected a story that would captivate me so much. The mystery of what is happening is what kept me glued. There is of course a huge reveal as to the horror, but this actually came around two thirds into the story rather than as a final twist and revelation. It is an idea that has been done in horror plenty of times before, weirdly, it is the video game The Dark Pictures Presents: Switchback VR that most sprung to mind. There is a grotesque feeling at times due to all the characters with the exception of the barman being completely unfazed by the growing body count, the highlight of this being one character who is propelled violently back into the pub once he leaves, with his broken body jumbled up with the innards of a now broken jukebox, but despite being very visible, everyone carries on as normal.
Over the course of the novella we most come to know the barman, with him thinking back on past memories of what he deemed a wasted existence. The small number of bar patrons personalities are mainly shown from his perspective, but later developments reveal hidden depths to these characters. There was some neat development that nullifies the initial stereotypes you are presented with. While this is a serious novella, Bradshaw's humour shines through in dialogue characters have with each other. You could argue it is a slight cop-out having a character who exists mainly to be able to explain what is going on to the reader, but I liked the character of Simon, and in this context some sort of explanation was more satisfying than if it had all been left to the reader to piece together.

The horror stays once it first appears, and the shorter length meant that this horror could be sustained. A novella was the perfect length, I think with a short story I would have wanted more, while I'm not convinced this would have worked as a full length novel. It was all written in an engaging way, with characters dialogue feeling believable, even with the unfolding insanity.

And the Night Did Claim Them was a novella that I enjoyed far more than I expected to, I'm not sure why my expectations was muted, perhaps due to only really knowing that the author excels with his comedy horror books. I should not of feared though, as this was a neat well written horror that had me struggling to put this down.

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Meat Friend (2022) - Short Comedy Horror Film Review

Meat Friend is an eight minute long comedy horror film that has won four awards. Directed and co-written by Izzy Lee (The Obliteration of the Chickens), this is a ridiculous premise, with this ridiculousness played very heavily into. I'm typing this review while probably inflicted with my second bout of Covid (it turns out it was), so apologies if this seems badly written as I feel God awful!

Young Billie (Marnie McKendry - Tales of Halloween segment 'Trick') is surprised to discover that after trying to cook some hamburger meat in the microwave it has taken on a sentient form. This small creature (voiced by Steve Johanson - My Monster) tells the girl it is named Meat Friend and that it is going to offer her some life lessons. Meat Friend does not appear to be a good person however, and appears to have a bit of the criminal about it.

Meat Friend is set-out like a children's TV show and felt like a horror take on Sesame Street. There are only the three characters to be found here, with Megan Duffy (Holidays segment 'New Year's') rounding out the cast as Billie's mom. The titular creature is represented as a puppet, and one that has minimal movement, only really able to open its large mouth slightly. This amateur design is purposeful however, with that playing into the comedy. From the moment it begins to tell Billie the importance of making a shiv for dealing with snitches it became clear it was a bit of degenerate. Throughout the short it is shown snorting drugs off a table, swearing, and trying to get Billie to partake in crimes. I loved its deep voice, the recurring joke of it referring to Billie as 'Children' (as if it were speaking to an audience) and I thought it was fun that it appears to be an imaginary friend due to the mom not being able to see it.
I liked how this ended, but I did feel that the creature could have been more of a threat to the child than it actually was, and the lack of much special effects did make some scenes not work as well as they could have done.

It might not set the world on fire, but I thought Meat Friend was entertaining for what it was. While not laugh out loud funny there were plenty of moments I found humorous, and the small cast were decent enough. Meat Friend is currently available to watch on the ARROW streaming subscription service.

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Velma (2022) - Short Horror Film Review

Velma is a short fourteen minute horror that was written, directed and stars Scarlet Moreno. Described as a 'bloody feminist tale' and with a unique looking 1960's setting, this had a bright and distinct look to it. In terms of the plot, this was one I had seen in a similar style countless times before.

Moreno stars as Velma, a woman looking for love but constantly being let down by her dates who all only seem to want one thing out of her. She hopes that one day she will find the man who meets her dreamy ideals.

While I knew exactly where the story was going to go to, this was a delight to watch mainly due to the set design full of gaudy details. The short takes place entirely at Velma's expensive looking home, with the first half being a slow montage of various men shown partly out of shot arriving at her home and enjoying an extravagant meal with her, before she leads them off to the bedroom. The story is told by the silent on-screen sequences, with Velma narrating as if she is speaking to her diary. You get the impression she is after someone who doesn't just want sex, but wants a more meaningful relationship.
Around the halfway mark is when the montage stops and you get to see the whole process of her dates from start to finish. I enjoyed the performance of the lead, due to the male characters not having a voice and being ill-defined the focus was always on her. The sixties setting gave the short almost the feel of a fairy-tale, while the repeated 'Moon River' song that plays out was a perfect fit for the vibe of the short.

Velma is a visually engaging short that had a great blend of set and costume design. It might not have done anything surprising but this had style in spades, making for an enjoyable time. Velma had its world premiere at Panic Fest in 2022 and arrived on VOD on March 26th.

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Here For Blood (2022) - Comedy Horror Film Review

Nothing to do with the film, but the light bulb has gone in my office and I don't have a spare, so am writing this in the dark. With that out the way, Here For Blood is a comedy horror film that features lots of wrestling, lots of blood, and lots of gory special effects. Directed by Daniel Turres, and written by James Roberts (in his writing debut), this award winning movie did a lot that was right.

Needing money, Phoebe (Joelle Farrow) has agreed to a babysitting job at the home of rich couple, Barb (Tara Spencer-Nairn) and Gil (Michael Therriault). With an important exam the next day that she needs to revise for, she convinces her wrestler boyfriend Tom (Shawn Roberts - Resident Evil: The Final Chapter, Resident Evil: Retribution) to babysit instead. The little girl Grace (Maya Misaljevic) and Tom get along reasonably well, and it seems it will be a chill night. That is, until the house comes under attack by a group of mask wearing maniacs who are determined to kidnap Grace. Unfortunately for them however, this isn't something that Tom is going to let happen. Over a night of madness, Tom fights off the masked gang, a crazed cult leader, zombies, demons, and even a magically animated talking head!

Comedy can be tough to get right, this is one area that Here For Blood did get right. Tom is a meathead who isn't the smartest person out there. He is also endearing and good, determined to do the right thing whatever the cost. Much of the humour comes from him and how confidently wrong he gets about things, such as the first half of the movie where he is convinced the people attacking the house are 'sex perverts'. With a reliance on funny lines of dialogue and some amusing gross out humour, this comedy worked throughout and never got tiring. Think The Evil Dead crossed with Home Alone and The Purge and you would be somewhat on the way for what this felt like at times. This is everything the similar Night of the B*stard should have been.

There is lots and lots of violence in this film, several decapitations, slit throats, severed fingers, heads crushed to mush and various stab wounds. All of the wounds feature spurting blood which was great to see. My favourite may have been when someone gets their fingers sliced off, blood spurting out of each of the stumps! Another great moment had Tom repeatedly doing an elbow drop on someone's head over and over and over to ridiculousness. The masked men were a great choice, each had a distinct mask of their own, all of which looked fantastic. Shout out to the guy with an upside down face on his mask which was used to fun effect, and the cowardly guy who loses his mask early on, and spends the rest of the movie getting more and more injured, much to the exasperation of the main antagonist, who is mystified how badly the planned night is going. I thought the idea of the bad guys having their own little HQ in a barn near the house was cool, the seven or eight villains all had distinct personalities to them. There are a whole bunch of fight scenes, with lots of wrestling moves being performed. These were always high energy.

I only really had a few complaints with this. Firstly, the way the main antagonist is dealt with was underwhelming and felt a bit rushed. The core reason for why Tom and Grace are under attack when revealed felt wafer thin, and at an hour forty minutes, this did feel a bit overlong, I reckon at ninety minutes this would have worked a lot better, as the final act did begin to feel like it was dragging ever so slightly. On the flip side, Here For Blood was endlessly inventive, some really crazy moments here, the 'everything but the kitchen sink' approach really worked wonders. I would have never guessed from the initial home invasion just how mad and deranged things would get, I was totally there for that. Here For Blood comes to theatres and Screambox on February 9th.

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No Reason (2022) - Horror Film Review

No Reason is an indie slasher film that features an exclusively black cast. Directed and written by Carla Saunders, this horror film falls to the reliably inexpensive setting of a wood. The way it is paced, and the back and forth way the events of the film are shown, along with an underwhelming antagonist combine to make something that squanders some of its potential.

Four friends have arranged to go on a weekend camping vacation out in some remote woodland, and even after one of them, Brian (Karras Jordan) doesn't show, they still decide to go. Unknown to the group, Brian has fallen foul of a twisted killer, someone who has followed the group on their trip, with the aim of picking them off one by one.

At nearly exactly an hour long, No Reason just about falls into feature length territory. Even with a relatively short length, this takes a while to get going, with the first on-screen kill not occurring until nearly forty minutes into its run time. There was an enjoyable enough set up, with it seeming likely that the friends odd acquaintance, Rodney (Cortez Woods), is the one responsible for the horror they stumble into. From when the trip begins however the film begins to follow a non-linear path that made events a bit confusing to follow. The first on-screen interaction between the killer and their prey isn't actually the first time the friends encounter them, as a flashback reveals stuff had happened earlier. This creates a bit of a mysterious narrative, with little signs pointing to many different possibilities, even that it might all be going on in a character's mind, rather than literally happening.

The killer has a sadly underwhelming look to them, dressed in back clothes, wearing a black hoody, it doesn't take much effort to work out who the killer's identity is. Nor is there any explanation for their motives when it is revealed, or any sort of conclusion to the tale. This leads to lots of scenes of frightened people running around screaming in woodland, without a real feeling of threat. The few kill scenes are fine enough, nothing spectacular, but there is a bit of blood at one point. A decent enough fight sequence at one point also, in which each punch shown has the film slow down for a few moments to create physical impact of the punches.

After a couple of decent acts, the finale is where this mainly fell down for me. A random hooded figure chasing people around woods didn't make for the most thrilling of films, especially factoring in the low amount of on-screen deaths. If some of those early kills had actually been shown rather than inferred, perhaps that could have increased the slightly slow pace. As much as the killer's actions aren't explained, I guess this matches the film's title of 'No Reason', though it did feel there was an actual reason, just not one explained to the viewer. I liked the attempt to split up the main story with frequent flashbacks to the recent past, but those moments never seemed to really reveal anything essential, and just served at leaving me a little confused. It might have actually been better just to show the events of the film in a more logical format. This wasn't all bad however, it felt fresh to have an all black cast, and there were some decent enough horror moments mixed in, even if for me personally, the prologue sequence was the very best the film had to offer.
No Reason was released by BayView Entertainment on EST/VOD/SVOD Digital in North America on 28th November 2023, and came to AVOD on 1st January.

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